


Lizbob Supernatural Watching Notes (season 3)

by lizbobjones



Series: Lizbob Supernatural Watching Notes [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Archived From Tumblr, Fanwork Research & Reference Guides, Meta, Meta Essay, Non Fiction, archived from elizabethrobertajones blog, cross-posted to Tumblr, watching notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-11 23:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 74,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16862014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizbobjones/pseuds/lizbobjones
Summary: This comes from 2 separate posts from months apart.





	1. 3x01

This season remained the uninspiring end to a good show for like nearly 3 years in the back of my head until I found out the show wasn’t actually cancelled after this season. I have a vague mental block against it as “that season that got the show cancelled” that has lasted way beyond reason considering I caught up again back in like 2010 or something. 

It’s probably not that bad?

I’m actively fighting my own ridiculous brain for the next 16 episodes. Advance warning.

* * *

The Road So Far starts with a grim bell toll and the shot of Tessa’s spirit form walking through Dean. Good start.

*montages through all the most violent skeevy parts of season 2* Okay. >.>

*quick summary of how Sam died, Dean sold his soul and Sam’s probably evil* 

Okay that’s season 3 now let’s skip to Cas. :P

*eye twitch*

* * *

I will always be amused by this random bloke in the opening staring curiously at his shaking dustbins. Like, all that evil unleashed and… Demons cause bins to eat people.

(This is like the weird wheelie bin that ate Mickey in the first ever episode of New Who - like, wow, if that wasn’t a British institution renowned for silly monsters…)

(In that respect this episode trumps Rose by not having the bins  _actually_  eat random cold open bloke)

* * *

I’m really hoping the Darkness is not a weird do-over of this. (Though, season 7′s Leviathan dispersal was also exactly this but via water, complete with some really silly possessions like the guy who got a face full of it. I’m laughing at the demon smoke knocking the guy over before getting inside him… It’ll be in the great tradition of the show to have the Darkness having a turn at doing the same…)

* * *

The new title card is ridiculously fancy.

* * *

Cut to Sam re-reading everything they know about demons.

Sam: Reseeearch.

Dean: Sleeep with everythiiing

Some very nuanced character reintroductions there.

* * *

Uhoh, Bobby says there’s a cicada swarm? We are  _not_  doing Bugs over again.

* * *

“So we’re eating bacon cheeseburgers for breakfast”

It really is like they skimmed season 3 Dean for season 10 :P Not that he actually slept with anyone outside of 10x01 as far as I remember but at least for demon!Dean all the food, booze and sleeping with people came up as his interests while running away from home and living life up in a really grim depressing way. And here we’ve ticked off 2 classic Dean coping mechanisms at once. I think it’s season 3 which really starts poking at his coping mechanisms, since he was looking for hook ups usually in more relaxed, fun moments in the last two seasons, barely drank except for a few noticeable moments, and his relationship with food only really started to get interesting towards the end of season 2 anyway in a way kind of unrelated to him spiralling into despair, although he was also in a despair spiral at the time. :P 

I dunno. This is a shift in Dean to him living really intensely and not caring about the consequences because there are none.

I honestly don’t know how Sam dares get in the car with him considering how he also drives like that on the way to this conversation.

* * *

I think Dean probably regrets the cheeseburger when walking into the stinky house full of dead people.

* * *

The skeletons have roughly my relationship with TV right now. :P

* * *

Aaah Isaac and Tamara. I’m always sorry Tamara disappeared off the face of the earth. I love her accent. :D

Also Isaac can knock Dean off his feet in seconds. Not sure if he’s just that badass or if Dean’s really off his game right now. :P I’ll award the points to Isaac.

* * *

I think the fact they were instantly so adorable was pretty much a death sentence. Bah. :P 

Also just because they’re sweetie pies doesn’t mean Sam should just immediately ask how they started hunting - everyone has a grim introduction to the life…  _eeeeeveryone_. I have no idea what he assumed the answer would be if not for a total mood killer.

* * *

“Get this” *takes a shot*

* * *

I can’t remember how Isaac dies but being grumpy about Winchesters causing the end of the world and not wanting to work with them is both really sensible and a massive underestimation of how they can casually end the world every other year.

I hope he didn’t die as a result of not working with the Winchesters. *can’t really remember this episode*

* * *

Hi Ruby! Nice dramatic entrance.

* * *

I like that there’s a lot of green involved in the Envy scene… Not entirely sure I approve how it being about women killing each other for shoes, but eh.

* * *

I suppose Ruby kind of being obvious about following Sam down the street isn’t too obvious if she can disappear. Like “I’m going to be the most unsubtle stalker evaaar” … “But it’s fine I’ll just not be here if he turns around.” … “Solid.”

* * *

Dean spends a lot of time complaining about how stupid the case is they’re on, then Sam comes along grumbling to remind Bobby of the same reason Isaac wouldn’t work with them - they let the demons out. I’m guessing Dean being grumbly about the case calling the whole thing stupid is projecting how he feels about the whole minor apocalypse thing of letting out zillions of demons, since he immediately wants to go into action when they see the demon going into the bar and Bobby has to tell him not to be so reckless, so he obviously isn’t actually disengaged with the job, just resenting their part in it. So basically, yeah, agreeing with Sam but in his own repressed emotionally projecting way.

Honestly, they really  _aren’t_  to blame that much for the whole thing? Yeah, Sam could have stayed to help Bobby and Ellen slam the Hellgate sooner instead of dealing with Winchester family drama over in the other corner, but it’s a pretty mild amount of blame considering all the steps leading up to it and how helpless Sam was in the whole situation and how they were  _all_ helpless in the gate being opened in the first place and actually showed up to stop it happening without interruption AND killed Azazel to boot and that was technically for the greater good for slowing down his apocalypse plans even if it was mostly personally motivated to them. 

Really, blaming them just seems like a convenient device to make them outsiders again, and give them all some extra emotional trauma to start the season.

* * *

Oh whoops, Isaac and Tamara show up. This better not be how Isaac gets killed because Bobby’s busy counselling the Winchesters not to do anything rash, and they show up instead rushing into the scene so then he did die from not wanting to work with them for justified reasons because the implication would be they wouldn’t rush into it if they hadn’t.

That said, the words of wisdom were coming from Bobby stopping Dean doing the same thing, so it’s more about them accidentally severing helpful ties with Bobby in the process of shunning the Winchesters for being useless. :P

* * *

I was rambling a lot the beginning of last season about the hunting community that showed up having the Winchesters peering in from the outside isolated by John from the whole thing (possibly for their own protection or something I dunno) and now basically we have the same thing: Bobby knows these guys and so they’re at least some of  _his_  connections and been in the business ages, so them shunning the Winchesters is symbolic of the community shunning them (and then Sam spends most of this season actively being hunted for being the anti-Christ :P) so it’s shifted around now. They’re perpetually outsiders, but now they’re enforced outsiders.

Probably the other hunters wherever they were all this time muttered about Bobby’s personal connection to them but since Bobby was still so useful tried to overlook it. :P

* * *

Oh no, Isaac and Tamara do the “I love you” “I know” thing.

Oh look everyone is demons.

*sigh*

* * *

Ew. *just doesn’t look at his death* :(

* * *

At this point I’m getting that same weird feeling I got with Dean always being sad in season 2 where I stopped noticing it compared to hows Dean is always reckless when he’s in a bad way. I dimly recognise him sticking around to wrestle the demon into the back of the car at risk of his own personal safety is meant to highlight a shift in his personality to the more reckless side, but at this point it’s like “yeah Dean does that” :P I think him being unkillable for a season and a half was a bad idea. :P (well okay he wasn’t habitually this bad, but if nothing else the threat level of demons has reduced so much he has literally fought this many all at once and it’s been no big deal. Like right now it’s supposed to be “aargh season 3 we’ve never SEEN so many demons all in one place!” and after the apocalypse it’s like “Oh look a room full of demons it must be friday” and then inevitably “I am a room full of demons.”)

(Hm I’m flaking out and it’s like 7pm. I may have overestimated how much mental energy I had left for the day. Here is your random mid-episode disclaimer I’m perpetually confused and tired and just pretending to function while typing things to fight my wandering attention and inclination to just fall asleep on the desk)

* * *

Hahahaha Sam saying how they can’t stab demons. I just… *wipes away a tear* any ironic foreshadowing just to make a character be wrong about something is my jam. *stares down to the end of the episode and Ruby being all stabby stabby*

* * *

I still think this is one of the dorkier enemies they’ve had on the show just in how the presentation came across. I mean if you were at least going to do this you could have several episodes actually exploring each one symbolically instead of like a handful of short scenes which show a really surface level example of their powers. I dunno, probably spoiled by the Horsemen getting this treatment. :P Think these guys were just too many all at once.  

Liiike, this wasn’t bad as a premise for what literally everything else should have been about:

> ENVY  
> Please. You really think you’re better than me. Which one of you can cast the first stone, huh? What about you, Dean? You’re practically a, a walking billboard of gluttony and lust. And Tamara. All that wrath. Oohh. It’s the reason you and Isaac became hunters in the first place, isn’t it? It’s so much easier to … drink in the rage than to face what really happened all those years ago.  
> […]   
> And you call us sins. We’re not sins, man. We are natural human instinct. And you can repress and deny us all you want, but the truth is, you are just animals. Horny… greedy… hungry… violent animals. And you know what? You’ll be slaughtered like animals, too. 

Buuut they just tell us that in 2 paragraphs of dialogue without much showing. I mean imagine a full episode exploring each through a character. That would have been fun. We didn’t even get to Sam! Or Bobby! This is so unexplored we don’t even get analysis on all the characters just in the room right then. :P

* * *

Woo, 1 demon back in Hell, a zillion minus 1 to go!

* * *

Dean offers to sacrifice himself to help the others get away. Meanwhile Tamara is all scary about the guy he was possessing not making it - she’s sort of an example scary hunter except for the fact this is the beginning of the main characters’ descent into casually killing meatsuits as they get the knife and then fix up the Colt, so really she’s foreshadowing something not too far off in their mentalities. :P 

Tamara is really angry and wrathful and full of sort of generic angry revenge as Envy said, but she’s not presented as a  _bad_  hunter in the same way Gordon was immediately made into the villain for really black and white murdery mentality. She’s just really hardened already and made even harder by Isaac’s death, and in this way serves as a sort of warning for what’s to come. Like, again at the time it was really shocking how much she didn’t care for the guy that had been possessed, but these days Sam n Dean pretty much accept that the meatsuit is collateral damage from the start, and her reaction is only shocking because there’s a highlight put on it.

BUT this is also the demonstration that meatsuits seem to be dead quite often by the time they’re exorcised - whenever we see Sam starting his powers!exorcisms in season 4 he also is concerned for the meatsuits and doing it kind of for them, but also doesn’t seem surprised they’re often dead… Buuut I think those are the main nods we ever get to it and then after that we sort of need to collectively forget all the issues unless there’s a personal investment in the possessed character the show actually wants us to think about, except for, like, Jeffrey in that season 7 episode when he was presented as initially an innocent victim of how barbaric they got with possessed people around this time (I can’t remember if that episode’s flashback was a season 3 or 4 thing but they were talking about Lilith in it so it happens off screen somewhere in this neighbourhood?)

* * *

Pfft, of course Lust would go for Dean. *generally grumpy about his hastily written characterisation for this episode because see above random irrational dislike of season 3*  

* * *

Pride talking to Sam, though. Flattering him with the title the “boy king” which I think is the first time we hear that (only time? nah. yeah? I’m pretty sure “righteous man” gets said like once ever in canon - fandom just really likes slapping titles on the characters :P) ANYWAY point is he’s saying all this to get to Sam, but in a really underhand way, telling him he doesn’t look all that, perhaps to try and fluff up his feathers and get the prideful response to being belittled. 

*random flicker of a scary smirk from Sam*

I think it worked. :P

He also points out that without Azazel telling them what to do no one actually cares and even if he’s riling Sam up he is also pointing out that the reason nothing’s happened yet that baffled them at the beginning of the episode is because the demons are in anarchy and this is bad because loads of demons everywhere, but good because no one has to fight an army of demons all alone which would be way above their pay grade and probably also the storytelling interests of the show right now. :P

* * *

Hey Ruby and your knife! :D

*stabby stabby*

“Who the hell are you?”

… Oh my god did you learn NOTHING from Meg, Sam??? If it is a demon that doesn’t want you to know it’s a demon yet there will be an  _uncomfortable_  number of subtle jokes about Hell. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR OWN DIALOGUE.

* * *

Hm, so the only meatsuits they’re burning are the ones Ruby stabbed, and the one Greed and Lust were possessing got exorcised, and were fine (ish). I don’t  _think_  they punched around the Envy guy enough on screen to have killed him by mistake, but who knows. :P

* * *

They tell Tamara to be careful because the world is a dangerous place now and then we never see her again, so I’m assuming something awful happened to her within the next few episodes. :<

* * *

Oh man literally everything is done for the episode and there’s like 5 minutes left. There’s going to be a long depressing conversation, right?

Sam wants to go to New Orleans to talk to someone who might be able to help with the deal - Dean immediately responds joking about going to catch Mardi Gras… Even before he “nah”s Sam’s suggestion that there’s somewhere there to help, it’s showing how he’s still thinking about how to have fun with his last year. *sigh* :(

Sam bubbles over, annoyed about Dean being rude about all his attempts to help. I guess the tactic worked from Dean - annoy Sam so much he doesn’t  _want_  to help any more? :P Like, “fine, go die then if you’re going to be such a jerk”. (I know, Sam wouldn’t ever  _actually_ …)

Okay no, Dean goes on to actually explain the terms and conditions, so he only lied to Sam about this for… did he say they were 3 weeks in at the start? 

I still think this is the cruellest thing he has to go through with regards to his self worth and Sam - it would have been kinder to fling him directly into Hell since now he has to go a year constantly enforcing to himself that his life is not worth more than Sam’s, since he made the decision upfront with the trade in one emotional moment where it made sense to him, but now basically anything that saves him is at the expense of Sam, so literally everything that ever comes up to remind him of it is another moment Dean has to tell himself his life is worth less than Sam’s and so on and so forth and make a choice to stick to that decision and his moment of despair over and over. I mean, we saw how he was already conditioned up to the point of selling his soul in a one-off action, but, like, that casual “nah” to Sam’s possible lead to help is yet another moment of telling himself this message, and for the entire year that’s getting hammered into him over and over, and each time he has to remind himself he’s ready to die for Sam because if he  _isn’t_  he’s not just saying he values his own existence, but he values it over Sam’s…

This probably is more of his upfront damage from now on than any of the historic stuff, tbh. Eurgh. 

Look at this happy healthy well-balanced family:

> SAM  
> So, what, now I live and you die?  
>   
> DEAN  
> That’s the general idea, yeah.  
>   
> SAM  
> Yeah, well, you’re a hypocrite, Dean. How did you feel when Dad sold his soul for you? ‘Cause I was there. I remember. You were twisted, and broken. And now you go and do the same thing. To me. (pause) What you did was selfish.  
>   
> DEAN  
> Yeah, you’re right. It was selfish. But I’m okay with that.  
>   
> SAM  
> I’m not.  
>   
> DEAN  
> Tough. After everything I’ve done for this family, I think I’m entitled. (pause) Truth is, I’m tired, Sam. I don’t know, it’s like there’s a, a light at the end of the tunnel.  
>   
> SAM  
> It’s hellfire, Dean.  
>   
> DEAN  
> Whatever. You’re alive, I feel good – for the first time in a long time. I got a year to live, Sam. I’d like to make the most of it. So what do you say we kill some evil sons of bitches and we raise a little hell, huh?  
>   
> SAM  
> You’re unbelievable. 

* * *

Seeeeeason threeeeeeee.


	2. 3x02

*refers you to the fact my season 6 tag is “We don’t talk about season 6”*

* * *

This episode is also harrowing enough all on its own merit without any hindsight from later seasons.

* * *

Oh dear, all the episodes are going to start with “let’s kill some evil sons of bitches.” That’s not going to get tiring. :P

* * *

Is the kid in the cold open already a changeling or not? Either way, it’s a little unsettling because she’s taken so violently against her dad/his house and from the mom’s perception that has to be pretty worrying about what happens there that the little girl can’t verbalise. I dunno, if you take off the filter that there would actually be monsters involved… 

Meanwhile the guy loves his daughter so much he loses track of time making her toys until 1am and then dies in one of the more horrific ways.

Sort of lets you think a ghost did it at this point. I’d assume it’s all mommy changeling?

TBH I know I get grumpy about them not being proper fairy changelings, but if you assume she did it with magic we can pretend this is just the twist on the lore, but… Still, it does seem to be every monster type is just a “regular” monster until fairies are introduced in season - *stops short* Okay, that rule isn’t for this line of thought, but I do think it’s hilarious I accidentally walked right into that one after establishing the rule. :P

* * *

No idea how legit this is IRL re: language or software capability, but…

… Sam does seem to be onto something here. The one translated sentence fragment is “the soul is now released for eternity” which suggests a pretty clear idea he’s already on the right track. 

Not that this went anywhere but I think this is one of those little things where “every culture in the world” is actually kind of well-utilised? He was talking about checking out a possible hoodoo cure last episode, and now he’s going deep into ancient Sanskrit writing, and I think he was reading an old book about European demons in the very opening of 3x01, so that’s 3 continents, 3 time periods, three cultures tapped for info within 2 episodes.

(I’d complain about his research skills being so impeded in season 10 but I guess because it was a very specific story he was focussing on he was just stuck with only Biblical sources from a very narrow field compared to this attempt to save Dean, where demons in general and their deals are a very broad scope.)

* * *

Also the fact Sam starts lying to Dean about trying to save him immediately, in a “slam the laptop shut and babble about ordering pizza despite sitting in a café” way, which really puts his experience with concealing Rowena and the BotD into context as smoothly and discreetly handled.

* * *

Is there no motel this episode? I swear the bricks outside the café window are the ones that are usually outside the motel door, which means this is their motel set rebuilt as a café for the episode?

In which case the star clock and red n gold theme are duly noted and filed away for further thought/comparison to any potential future themed rooms.

I see the word “garden salad” hovering above Sam’s head in the top left, clear foreshadowing for his  _still_  as yet unrevealed health food habits. :P (Honestly, I’ve not been looking out for it particularly hard, but Sam has barely (if ever?) eaten on screen, and definitely refused food a few times in contrast to Dean.) I have a weird feeling the posters on the wall are the same as the ones from the Mystery Spot diner or similar enough, which would be funny to have them haunting him through the season. I have not watched this season enough times to know if they default to cafés more than motels.

* * *

Maybe Dean’s thing is motel room ominous foreshadowing, and Sam’s is cafés and diners.

* * *

Is this another one of those episodes where Dean is convinced there’s a case (or at least is looking for one) and Sam actively disengages for the sake of the main plot? Just based off the fact I’ve seen a lot of gifsets of this episode about him and Ruby, and the fact that Dean is totally failing to sell the actual case here. I think he goes to the party alone… I actually can’t remember much involvement in it for anyone - just a lot of horror with the kids but that might be my memory focussing on the alarming stuff. :P 

* * *

Oh hey, it’s that set they re-use over and over of the adobe looking motel. 2x03 and Remember the Titans in season 8 that I can remember/have noted so far. 

(I mostly remember the season 8 one because of the gifset of Dean with coffee from that episode. Mm.)

Sam just gets dumped on the side of the road there, Dean continues to be ridiculous in his excitement to get to Lisa’s.

I know we’re not talking about season 6, but  _honestly_ regarding season 5, this should not be how you introduce a potential endgame:

> SAM  
> So let me get this straight. You want – you want to drive all the way to Cicero just to hook up with some random chick? 
> 
> DEAN  
> She was a yoga teacher. It was the bendiest weekend of my life. Come on. Have a heart, huh? It’s my dying wish. 
> 
> SAM  
> Yeah, well, how many dying wishes are you gonna get? 
> 
> DEAN  
> As many as I can squeeze out. Come on. Smile, Sam! God knows I’m gonna be smiling after 24 hours with Gumby girl.

I know, he connects with her a  _bit_  more meaningfully this episode and bonds with Ben and all, and thanks to this episode establishing her as a respectable ex with a more domestic slant than any of his hook ups thanks to him revisiting her in a later, more balanced period of her life than her hook up years, we have her teased in Dream a Little Dream as an image  _representing_  the thing he’d want, but still… Translating that into actually showing up on her doorstep is a massive leap of applying his idealised ideas of women and notion of them as a prize onto her without considering what she’d actually want. Lisa’s kindness probably saves his life at the end of season 5 and at the very least stops him turning into Sam over the season ¾ time skip, but while she might like the idea of a relationship where she puts a broken guy back together, season 5 at least never stops to consider what she would really want from having Dean fall into her life, while it’s only season 6′s hindsight on the relationship from Lisa’s POV that we find out how she feels about the whole thing. 

* * *

(FYI the reason we don’t talk about season 6 when it comes to this is all my hopefully well-founded objections and grumpy comments about this all magically disappear and I just sob annoyingly hard about Dean x Lisa and I am vaguely ashamed of that fact when rewatches take me right from grumbling about her use in one season to me sobbing about domestic!Dean and how sweet they are together in the very next episode. :P 

… I just noticed going to the transcript to look up that quote that this is a Gamble episode, so Lisa was her brain child anyhow, so I suppose if she was prepping to take over she could have influenced the decision to have Lisa as the endgame of season 5 for Dean to have some building blocks to work with in season 6.)

* * *

Dean rolls into a brand new neighbourhood and we see the balloons I assume are for Ben’s party, so he’s going directly to Lisa’s? He just looked up her brand new address somehow for the booty call? I know this is the same neighbourhood coincidentally with the changeling in it, but still, this seems kind of neat of the monster and creepy of Dean. :P Aah plot contrivances. Worse if he looked up her exact address first and THEN looked for weird stuff in the neighbourhood with the laser focus of someone needing to find  _aaaanything_  to bring him there. Which, we don’t know he didn’t do, but they’re not going to make him look THAT dodgy. :P

* * *

Hi Lisa!

She’s so pretty and happy and there’s a strong breeze making her hair do the fluttery thing. :3

He uses the apparently classic Dean pick up line about just passing through town which is a blatant lie seeing as he’s detoured miles to come visit on a flimsy premise with the hope of a hook up.

I feel being forced into suburbia and children’s parties is somehow his punishment for this.

* * *

Hi tiny Ben! He starts off wearing a jacket that looks exactly like a mini version of some of Dean’s generic non-leather jackets. I do wonder about the influence on Ben’s life that turned him into mini!Dean. Like, you can’t just spawn someone giving you AC/DC for your 8th birthday via genetics. If it’s from Lisa, pandering to his weird genetic dude bro side, fair enough (still not how it works :P), but like, there’s a lot of nature vs nurture on this show with a leaning towards nurture even for monsters and crap fighting  _against_  their nature blah blah… Basically, even if you can be magically predisposed towards being a surface-level Dean knock off by genetics, he still had to be taught to be that way - all the phrases he spouts can’t have just shown up in his brain unprompted. Someone out there was being a bad influence talking about hot chicks and stuff, and while I’d love it to be Lisa having a weird Dean-like side when she’s alone and unguarded suddenly turning into a dude bro kinda person I kind of doubt it. :P

I don’t know, food for thought, since everyone jokes so much about him being a perfect tiny Dean in this episode like that genetically predisposes him to be Dean’s kid.

* * *

Look at Lisa and … [scrolls through entire transcript looking for a name and discovers there isn’t one] Katie’s Mom (as she is labelled all the way through) talking! I was going to say that must surely be a Bechdel test pass but it turns out that even supportive female friendships not talking about a dude don’t count because instead they just forget to give the other woman a name for the entire episode apparently and so fail on the other specification, which is really impressive considering Katie’s Mom goes riiight through the episode. :P

* * *

This is ridiculous. She’s like the second main character out of all the one-off characters after Lisa. She’s MORE important than Lisa to the episode’s main plot, just Lisa is more relevant to Dean. *goes to research more on this mid-episode*

<http://everyspnlady.tumblr.com/post/98254118717/dana-keel-in-3-02-the-kids-are-alright-no>

That’s better. Dana. Not to be confused with Dana Shulps.

* * *

Which wasn’t the name of a woman either. :P

* * *

Dean comes blundering into the middle of Lisa’s deep concern for Dana and her problems with her kid, since that’s obviously way more of an issue than a long-ago ex-boyfriend intruding on not-his-kid’s birthday. She is duly grumpy with him for not recognising that while she’s busy being worried for her friend. 

* * *

I would like to point out Sam has transitioned to another red and gold café, and the presence of a  _criminally_  uneaten amazing BLT:

but at this point the fact red and gold are represented in the diner staples of mustard and ketchup mean that the colour symbolism might just be to make you unconsciously hungry.

* * *

I have no idea what Sam is writing. *squints*

* * *

Ruby drops down in front of Sam out of nowhere and says, “Hello, Sam.” I would like to award Cas 0 points for originality on this opening line becoming a catchphrase and also laugh because paralleling Sam/Ruby and Dean/Cas is one of my key passions in life apparently. :P

* * *

Sam gets a dramatic zoom!

* * *

Have a “no reason I just liked this” screenshot:

This is the first season after they ditch the murky filters, right? It’s still a little more washed out than later, but compared to season 1 and 2 we’ve had a lot of broad daylight and colourful moments.

* * *

Ruby tells Sam to  _try_  some of his own fries on the plate of untouched food he ordered. Try. Like he hasn’t even sampled the food he ordered to claim the table.

I really worry about Sam. All his storylines combined have turned him into the sort of character I’d fuss around making sure they were always warm enough and had enough to drink and had an umbrella in case it rains and… *fusses over someone twice my height and probably three times my weight at his buffest and who at one point could kill things with his mind*

*is worried that Ruby is trying to make him eat because she’s also concerned that he’s spiralling into obsession about saving Dean to the detriment of his own health, and therefore Ruby’s concern is the first motherly touch Sam’s had in ever.* Honestly, the rate they hire curly-haired blondes… Ruby’s curls drop out towards the end, and then she comes back looking like Gen, and now I’m just wondering if the change in look was partially because the whole curly blonde = Mary thing is too much a thing.

* * *

It’s a shame Ruby and Dean never got on because they would have just been best bros and eaten so much junk food together. 

* * *

Headcanon they meet up all through season 4 and resentfully eat fries together without saying a word. They just  _glare_. But they both know what it’s like to crawl out of Hell craving greasy crap, and so they just eat in dead silence and have tiny silent stand offs about the ketchup.

* * *

I don’t care how much you like ketchup, that is  _too much, Ruby_.

* * *

Ruby calls Sam the anti-Christ which may be the first time he’s heard that? I remember vaguely Gordon suggested it to Dean, but I doubt Dean would have told Sam that.

She then says she’s a good hunter so I guess she’s just pretending to be a concerned citizen, which does weirdly foreshadow the fact actual hunters will be after Sam for being the anti-Christ and that for now it looks like she just got there first?

Reminds me of Pride last episode telling Sam he wasn’t a big deal for someone getting called the Boy King in demon circles (intended in a way to actually make Sam like the sound of that I guess? Which he seemed to for a moment? I can’t imagine he wasn’t being paralleled to Pride as Dean was to Lust even if Pride didn’t physically touch Sam), and now Ruby is telling him he totally is a big deal. Hmm.

I mean what do you even do with foreshadowing for something that didn’t happen because the writers were off picketing? :P It’s all just fascinating character development.

* * *

Sam also says he’s not been having any weird visions or anything since Yellow Eyes died, which makes me wonder just how often strange stuff happened to him week to week that we never knew about. Like through season 1 he implied a few times that he was extra sensitive to ghosts and all sorts of quiet background things which weren’t plot relevant.

That or, he was sneakily using telekinesis if he forgot to I dunno take his bodywash into the shower and didn’t want to leave the warm steam to go grab it from across the room, and we never saw him being a total dork about having powers.

Headcanon that Sam was secretly a total dork about having powers.

Anyway whatever happened he seems to feel genuinely cut off from his abilities all of a sudden.

* * *

Oooh this is where Ruby tells him that all Mary’s friends are dead, along with some extended family. I guess - to briefly talk about season 6 again because dammit Sera did you get the whole season from this episode?! :P - the demons missed some? I have no idea how this links up with the Campbells in season 6 except that perhaps Sera re-watched this episode for Lisa and started to muse on this thread she’d started and never got picked up (possibly another writers’ strike thing?). Mostly because Sam discovers everyone he can look up is dead.

If the demons that killed them all just went through a phonebook to find them like Sam does, perhaps that explains why the hunter side of the family scraped through.

* * *

Anyway back to screaming about changeling!Katie and Dana’s ongoing breakdown. 

When Dana sees the changeling in the mirror it looks all damp and rotten which seems to connect it to the lake she ditches it in later. Totally spurious theory, but what if the new housing development was built up against this lake and that’s where the monsters came from? So dropping her in the lake was actually the  _worst_  idea Dana could have had?

* * *

Sam all dressed up like an insurance agent. I think he went out to buy an especially boring tie just for the job. (Despite him and Dean now agreeing there’s a case here, Sam is investigating this alone - where is Dean? I feel like this is now making a deliberate point about isolating them from each other, probably as a thematic knock on effect from Sam slamming his laptop closed and hiding from Dean that he’s still searching for a way to save him)

The guy apparently died outside after changing a lightbulb inside. Nothing is said expressly but it looks like he was violently flung from the window. I am actually kinda terrified and don’t want to know the details. Especially after how horrific the on screen death was for the other guy.

The red clay that gets spread around the murder scenes looks like it was damp when it got on stuff - if the changelings are constantly damp to the point of collecting a lot of wet clay where they go, then perhaps they are lake monsters.

*scary staring kid because someone is taking its mommy’s attention away from it*

Sam spots the mom with a bite on her neck and speeds up to walk like 1 inch behind her to inspect it. At least it wasn’t like when he was spotting the bites in the spa episode and randomly started lifting that person’s clothes to get a better look, like, what if her clothes had been covering it a bit? “OH SORRY THERE IS A REALLY BIG BUG ON YOUR NECK I THINK I GOT IT HA HA” /bad at acting Sam faces

If Sam WAS previously using secret telekinesis for shits and giggles he could have moved her shirt without it being weird.

* * *

Cut to Dana feeling her neck.

the changeling can probably tell she’s finding out about the bite on her neck and is scared Dana is getting too scared of her. And can probably tell she locked the door and doesn’t like that Dana wants some alone time away from her kid. 

… I always felt this is probably a metaphor for some really depressing parenting stuff about kids who the parents start to feel are draining them with their need for attention and food, and how depression can make the basic demands of raising a kid seem unbearable (especially I guess with a focus on families which just lost one of the parents or where they’re separated). I think when we were watching this for the first time I’d just been doing some depressing unit in one of my literature classes which covered a few female writers dealing with this sort of stuff. I’d have been a bit more literary about this 6 years ago :P

(Like, I got annoyed with Heart not for what it seemed metaphorical about but just the bleak ending and how I didn’t like how it treated its subject matter through how they dealt with Madison… I like this episode because it’s way less bleak just because they can’t just have an episode where they kill a whole bunch of kids, so there’s a more upbeat feel to the end of it, where the parents can start seeing the kids as their own again and cope again… I mean it’s an unrealistic heroic save the day moment that restores their kids, but I suppose just the existence of hope is what I like? I dunno. This topic feels way darker than Heart in the moment (especially the upcoming car bit) but I’m much more chill about it. :P)

* * *

Changeling mommy comes to check on her spawn. And to check the food she provided her spawn with isn’t going to try killing the kid any time soon.

Dana is probably on a watch list because she’s melting down faster than the others. Probably means she’s more perceptive.

I dunno.

(I was scooting through the transcript for something else and noticed this exchange is labelled as between “Katie’s Mom” and “Redheaded Woman”. I am genuinely IMPRESSED at how the women don’t have names in this. I was kinda joking about Dana being nothing but a snack from the eyes of the monsters, but actually maybe dehumanising her like this is part of the point? She calls herself “Mommy” to Katie all the time, talking in 3rd person just using her title of what she’s meant to be to her, but the whole thing is underscoring how the relationship is NOT mother/daughter right then, and they’ve all become dehumanised by it. Hmm.)

* * *

Aw Dean bonding with Ben. 

“Only bitches send a grown up.” “You’re not wrong.” “And I’m not a bitch.” 

Uurgh. You know why Ben upsets me here (aside from an 8 year old saying ‘bitch’)? He sounds like Dean in his insecurities too, not just in his surface pleasures when he was having fun at the party. There’s no way he’d know that phrase if someone hadn’t told it to him - it sounds like he’s parroting back a threat from another kid, and saying “I’m not a bitch” is him not wanting to be seen as weak for relying on anyone but himself - he seems to be using his bully’s words, and mimicking someone somewhere in his behaviour so it seems he’s already building up a protective shell like Dean’s. 

*makes a vague note to keep analysing the kid in later appearances*

* * *

Dean demeans the bully by suggesting he needs to lay off the burgers.

Dean and food. It’s a complicated story. >.> I don’t know if Dean ever had the luxury of getting noticeably outwardly chubby, but Jensen carries a little adorable squishiness most of the time and this season Dean is stuffing his face with junk food, and has a long history with eating shite food… Back in last season, his line to the prisoner called Tiny in 2x19 about doughnuts not being love or something along those lines is something I’ve seen quoted in several metas about Dean and food.

Anyway. Dean lashing back at the bully that sparked Ben’s insecurity with his own weaponised insecurity? 

This really isn’t a healthy example to lead. :P He’s good with kids in that he likes them and they like him, and he inspires them and comforts them, but as an overall healthy role model? Hm. :P

* * *

Awww Ben running back to hug Dean and say thanks. :(

I lean towards believing Lisa that Ben wasn’t Dean’s kid but that just makes this more heartbreaking. (if only for the Apocalypse arc because holy  _crap_  that would have been awful if Michael skipped over Dean for a ‘well there’s always his son’ reason.)

(ALTHOUGH in the ridiculous eventuality of [Claire!Cas being a thing](http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/118287580968/the-idea-of-cas-possessing-kid-claire-gives-me-a) for the entire show on top of this twist, you have her being all “Hey assbutt” at Ben!Michael, which honestly would probably completely ruin the entire show and turn Swan Song into a farce, BUT I’d still pay to watch it. What is wrong with me.)

(We must find a way to turn Lucifer into a child. De-aging spell on Sam? It is possible in the show’s own canon now! Just… have Dean out there with kid!Sam!Lucifer, Ben!Michael, Claire!Cas… Probably de-aged Bobby just for lols, being this 6 foot giant in a sea of children like he’s the actual worst day care supervisor ever.)

…

Uh I was going to say something about Dean filling a gap in Ben’s life or being clearly a much more supportive influence than whoever gave Ben his interests in classic rock and talking about chicks ever was (tbh that person is clearly a jerk :P) so that in one short encounter he inspires this sudden love from Ben as the cool older male role model he’s clearly been lacking (but, see above: nature versus nurture, this came from somewhere - Dean’s an upgrade to someone. To not talk about season 6, Ben takes against Lisa dating again even though the bloke seems fine, and wants Dean back, so it’s possible Lisa had crappy ex-boyfriends in between (likely given her history and, well, the fact she was interested in Dean in the first place, because he is a terrible boyfriend despite his heart being in the right place :P) and Ben fixated on the idea that Dean is the best, and the threat of new boyfriends in Lisa’s life means maybe a return to the terrible ones with that childhood irrational prejudice against new partners that would come after picking Dean as the random “best” father figure he had, hence him trying to get Dean and Lisa back together when she tries dating…)

* * *

While I’ve been slightly forgetting he’s in this episode, aw man Dean’s expression when Ben goes off with Lisa hurts. :( You can just see him watching what a normal life would look like walking off into the distance: while I begrudge this getting sprung on Lisa (especially seeing as this scene demonstrates she doesn’t want Dean wandering into her life out of the blue trying to connect with Ben or intrude in her life, right now) you can absolutely see how Dean comes to picture her as an ideal he thinks he’ll never have. Right now of course there’s the thought he’d go to Hell too soon for this to work out no matter what: even if it was perfect domestic bliss tomorrow there’s less than a year to enjoy it and it would be cruel for them too, which is how Lisa ends up this unattainable dream in Dream a Little Dream: she’s the perfect example of something Dean could never have but thinks he’d want after experiencing this yearning for it here. And so after Hell, if he ever lets himself dream about the future, he’s moved around to this place where this ideal which would have been cut off by his imminent death, becomes a thing where, if only he survives, this is what he’d want. 

On Dean’s side, Lisa actually was inevitable and long-term emotional investment, just, for basically from here through to the end of season 5, from this POV of watching her walk off. 

Aaurgh one-sided pining where the other side isn’t given a say in it.

* * *

Aaand the car bit with Dana. The changeling is  _pawing_  at her. I think the changelings really can sense when they’re in danger of being rejected by the mother, and turn up the emotional blackmail to a million. UGH I hope Dana got a really good therapist after this. I don’t even know how she could come back from this unless the whole neighbourhood got together like “Yes it was monsters and it happened to all of us.”

*Changeling Katie just watches as the car sinks out of sight*

Oh god poor Dana. :( I hate this bit. :( :(

“Hi Mommy, can I have the ice cream now?”

*screams and screams*

* * *

*stares at Sam’s laptop* 

That’s 3 references of fairies, 3 of trolls, and 2 suggesting the kids were taken to Hell, if you squint at the text.

* * *

Sam n Dean are finally in the same room after like 20 minutes doing their own thing. They’ve both finally come to the same conclusion.

* * *

Huh, they’re in a red and gold room again. 

I am deeply amused that from the other angle Dean is assembling a blow torch to destroy the changeling with fire, and sitting next to a No Smoking sign:

* * *

Oh my god, Dana is named in the episode!

This is probably not symbolically awful than the only way her name appears is in her prescription sleeping pills.

* * *

*squints for the camera man in the mirror*

I am actually fascinated about this motel room. They’re supposedly staying in the adobe themed motel again based on where Dean dropped Sam off at the start of the episode but this looks like a Gothic castle or something. The Victoriana is strong with this one. And the gold and red is not subtle. I like the touch of stars on the mirror and the flowers in the foreground.

TBH this is making me lean towards it as a sneaky fairies episode before fairies were allowed on the show. Let’s just nod to Gamble allowing the fairy episode in season 6 and suggest she had a soft spot. :P

* * *

Aw no, scary changeling!Ben. :(

* * *

Scary changeling mom!

Oh, she copied the realtor lady too. Keeping them alive might mirror the shifter lore a bit because those tended to keep victims alive to get their memories and stuff if they were trying to fit in… Maybe these are a different, much worse, form of monster as the shifters? 

* * *

Aw but actual Ben is such a little hero. :3

* * *

Okay it gets a bit silly with the random army of changeling kids closing in on Lisa. I suppose if the Changeling mom is threatened it can control the kids to protect its interest. Dana is trapped in a psychological horror movie where changeling!Katie is pounding on the door and she’s all alone, but Lisa gets like 2 minutes of changeling!Ben horror and sees other kids and gets the idea right away there’s a strange wider picture. She might not get why and it’s still horrifying that something happened to Ben, but she outright rejects him and says he’s not Ben, so she’s handling it completely differently. Maybe because Dana already had sleeping pills it suggests she was already dealing with mental health issues of some sort and so the slow creeping horror of realising something was wrong with Katie and how she dealt with it has this much more drawn out disturbing arc.

* * *

Lisa just left blinking after watching Ben burn up in front of her after 10 minutes of horror. Dana has Katie flare up on the other side of the door so she doesn’t even see her go and get that closure.

* * *

I hope while Sam leaves Dean to talk to Lisa he goes around and comforts all the other families and tells them about the Changelings. Even if some of the others didn’t get so far as Dana there must have been some seriously disturbed mothers elsewhere off screen.

(Also: Sam splitting off from Dean AGAIN. They were only in the same place long enough to confirm what they were fighting and kill the thing - Dean even split off to go check on Lisa without Sam in between the motel scene and the fight.)

* * *

Dean tells Lisa about him hunting monsters and since she’s kind of got to roll with it at this point she doesn’t make it too weird. Going back to season 1 themes, there was a lot about telling various love interests about what they do, with Dean way more on the side of having to tell them, and Sam having held up a couple of years of lying about it to Jess to get the pretence of normalcy. In this respect, Lisa sort of passes a test for Dean that Cassie failed by being in a position where she has to believe him about what he does (and is chill with it). 

Also she does seem really genuine about Ben not being Dean’s. I feel like she was screwing with him in the beginning by letting him think it (and then at the park scene, probably felt she’d over-stepped the line by letting Dean think it and suddenly he was hovering around talking to Ben… Obviously he was sticking around for the case as well, but again, to her at that point Dean had no reason to be there except for Ben. She couldn’t have the “you’re not his father” conversation in front of Ben, so she just had to tell him to back off… Then here they’re in more relaxed and friendly conversation and suddenly it seems really natural when she says Dean isn’t.

* * *

> LISA  
> I… I swear you look disappointed. 
> 
> DEAN  
> Yeah, I don’t know. It’s weird, you know your life… I mean, this house and a kid… it’s not my life. Never will be. Some stuff happened to me recently, and, uh… Anyway, a guy in my situation – you start to think, you know. I’m gonna be gone one day, and what am I leaving behind besides a car? 
> 
> LISA  
> I don’t know. Ben may not be your kid, but … he wouldn’t be alive if it wasn’t for you. That’s a lot if you ask me. 
> 
> DEAN (looks back and heads for the door)  
> You know, just for the record… you got a great kid. I would’ve been proud to be his dad. 
> 
> She kisses him. 
> 
> LISA   
> Look, if, um… if you want to stick around for a while… you’re welcome to stay. 
> 
> DEAN  
> (wistful pause)  
> I can’t. I got a lot of work to do, and it’s not my life.

*clenches fist* *stares out of the window* *it is raining*

* * *

One more shot of the not-Adobe motel for the road:

* * *

If Dean was always the red motel room, and it’s all full of yellow now, is that Hell reaching up to get its mustardy hooks in the ketchup of his soul?

* * *

Sam’s come back to the motel room to research their dead family tree instead of saying anything comforting to the victims.

Maybe Dean went and did a quick tour of the neighbourhood to check everyone was okay.

* * *

Okay at least one of the deaths was an unexpected heart condition, which sounds suspiciously like how the Hellhounds made people drop dead of heart failure as per the first on screen death we saw by one.

Maybe it’s not so weird to think that Crowley resurrected the whole Campbell clan - if they’d been in Hell anyway he would have just been able to fling them back topside as he pleased. Makes you wonder if the ones who were possessed by demons the whole time were their actual selves, demonified after longer in Hell than others.

* * *

The alternative of course is just that the Campbells were a really unhealthy family line and Sam n Dean are lucky they have fake health insurance because that level of family history of heart disease is terrible. 

* * *

Ooh this is where Ruby tells Sam who she is. She’s sitting with her back to the demony yellow curtains, after previously aligning herself with the red blooded hunters through ketchup.

What is my life.

* * *

Ruby is like “I want to help you figure it out” and then they spend an entire year and a half not figuring it out. Meanwhile Cas is just like *forehead boop* just go  _look_  sheesh it’s not that hard. Really, you’re useless, humans and demons, the lot of you.

* * *

Ruby certainly knows how to get what she wants from Sam, anyway. “I can help you save your brother” and… just like that, she’s got him. 


	3. 3x03

Or: the other shoe drops.

Oh god I didn’t even put that pun behind the read more. PLS don’t unfollow. 

(This is [in reference to 2x10 where Sam got blown up and the only thing that survived was a shoe](http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/122414323908/spn-hellatus-rewatch-2x10-or-unexpected-feelings). This episode is a return to that same subplot. I think I’m funny. Carry on.)

* * *

Hahahaha “John’s gone now” *shows his grave from the AU in 2x20*

* * *

Aah Gordon. Apparently the theme of the season is “Just listen to Bobby already.”

> KUBRIK   
> Talked to a guy who knows a guy who knows Bobby Singer, and yeah, it looks like the Winchesters were at ground zero when the gate was popped, but Singer said they went in there to stop it.
> 
> GORDON   
> Mhn-mhn. Bobby’s edge ain’t what it used to be. Sam could have him believing anything by now.
> 
> KUBRIK   
> Listen Gordon, as far as talk goes? Sam Winchester checks out. He’s a hunter, that’s all.

To be fair, this probably turns out to be the theme of most seasons but this one in particular seems to already have the theme down. :P

* * *

Has… Sam got a new beige jacket exactly like the one he got stabbed through in 2x21?

I would  _never_  rebuy something that looked like clothes I was killed in :P

TO BE HONEST rabbit foot aside, this is probably the source of his bad luck.

Like the guy who shows up to work one day wearing a vintage Jurassic Park t-shirt and HEY what do you know he works at Jurassic World and it’s escaped dinosaur day!

* * *

#Jurassic World spoilers

sorry :P

* * *

Dean immediately takes Sam to task for talking to Ruby, including just going right ahead and pointing out that she’s manipulating him for saying she knew how to save Dean. Considering everything that ever happens with Sam n Ruby, fair enough. :P That is literally their entire courtship dance.

Almost feels unfair on Sam having it highlighted so quickly.

(I do find it funny that she apparently disappeared off without saying anything else after the dramatic reveal at the end of last episode.)

This whole conversation is continuing with the “is Sam okay?” question posed at the very end of season 2 where we were meant to think he came back wrong after he died. 

> SAM   
> Nothing. (Pause) Nothing, OK?! Look I’m not an idiot Dean, I’m not talking about trusting her, I’m talking about using her. I mean we’re at war, right? And we don’t know jack about the enemy; we don’t know where they are, we don’t know what they’re doing. I mean, hell, we don’t know what they want. Now this Ruby girl knows more than we will ever find out on our own. Now yes, it’s a risk, I know that, but we need to take it.
> 
> DEAN   
> You’re okay right, I mean you’re feeling okay?
> 
> SAM   
> Yes I’m fine, Why are you always asking me that?

In hindsight that Sam is totally A OKAY right now, this is just symptomatic of him slipping into the more extreme mindset in that John-like way he does (did in season 1, will do again later on unrelated post-apocalypse issues) and is particularly highlighted in Mystery Spot. That certainly didn’t come out of nowhere. Right now we have him defaulting to angry and annoyed that Dean doesn’t want help/to save himself, or to see the use in Ruby even outside of that. Sam doesn’t trust Ruby yet, but he sees a use in her - something that can be exploited for information and power (… a loyal follower to the Boy King? :P) and right now they have none of that. Just the fact she’s shown up with the demon killing knife, which she’s still clinging too at the moment, gives her an edge they’ve never seen before.

He’d probably contemplate taking her help even if Dean’s life wasn’t on the line, tbh. :P (And Dean might be more likely to consider it if it wasn’t all about saving him and violating his core programming to keep Sam alive - once again we have Dean having to reject an offer to save his life and one more reinforcement that Sam’s life is worth more than his… Over and over and over. Ahaha season 3.)

* * *

I have to wonder where they were driving when they got the call about the break in. I find it funny that as with every episode so far about John, information about or from him suddenly intrudes on what they were doing and they abruptly change course. At this point in season 3 they’re kind of at peace with him after getting their revenge on Yellow Eyes, seeing him disappear, yadda yadda. But of course in the aftermath of actually getting their revenge mission done, they’re left to actually reflect on their lives and upbringings and especially to wonder if it was all worth it… And so we’re edging towards Dream a Little Dream and the big confrontation… 

But for now, it’s time for an episode of that Storage Wars thing! :O

(Which, Wikipedia informs me when I went to go look up the name that apparently we can watch in the UK but I have literally never heard anyone mention it. Meanwhile I spent 2 weeks in the US the year before last and saw like 10000 episodes of it.)

* * *

This hunter guy Kubrik delegates down yet again to this new bloke (apparently called Creedy) and is passing on the information here about the need to kill Sam yadda yadda. He also vouches for Gordon’s character, so we have this increasingly bizarre chain of Gordon vouching for John’s character, this guy vouching for Gordon, each one worse than the last. :P The Chinese Whispers going on here about who you trust and what the mission is are incredibly messed up. We’re already third hand removed, on information third hand removed from another source, to kill the  _rumoured_  Boy King based on the say so of someone they’ve never met.

I suppose this is a deconstruction of the hunter subculture accidentally alluded to in season 2 that felt like TOO strong of a presence - Kripke felt the Roadhouse was too much use and support, and so he wiped it off the face of the earth, and now we’re getting a look at what’s left: a culture of hunters who are all weird lone wolf types who occasionally bond together for jobs, based off tenuous connections and hearsay of both who’s good and bad in their world, knowing everyone by reputation, and vouching for and besmirching reputations as need be.

* * *

(And then just because this is an Edlund episode and he was apparently unable to get 5 minutes in without being a  _little_  quirky and strange, the Creedy hunter dude starts snooping through that Kubrik guy’s cupboards and finds the most random collection of Jesus icons and starts messing with them. 

> KUBRIK   
> Don’t play with my Jesus. 

I suppose for a guy hunting what he thinks is the anti-Christ this is a nice touch. :P)

* * *

> DEAN   
> Just Dad. You know him and his secrets. Spend all this time with the guy and it’s like we barely even know the man.
> 
> SAM   
> Well, we’re about to learn something.

Ah yeah, let’s fondly remember how he kept you ill-informed on every important matter for basically your whole lives.

I am… a little suspicious of the fact John has a coffin in here.

I am wondering if the really bad cursed stuff was all in the back, what is the deal with some of the other stuff up front? Like the stuffed owl.

Maybe that has a nostalgic meaning too. :P

Forever sad about the trophy and shotgun as the symbols of their childhoods - Sam trying to be normal (and Dean telling him it was about as close to normal as he ever got) and then being delighted to see his old shotgun like he’s really happy John was so proud of him and kept it, and being proud himself for making it… Once again, not even considering a normal childhood for himself. And Sam being reminded he tried to be normal and it all slipped away…

*kicks something*

… Not the landmine Dean just found.

* * *

Aw, poor incompetent thieves. 

You really shouldn’t open it.

*they open it*

…

* * *

Isn’t it bad luck that Sam n Dean even find their way to their apartment in the first place? I guess the rabbit’s foot couldn’t do anything if they were already tracking them for their earlier stupidity before they picked up the foot, although it could have put some sort of block in their way… Just how far does the bubble of luck extend? The photo of Sam n Dean at the diner was a lucky moment but it was noticed when he was unlucky, and led to them getting caught…

I don’t even know. :P

* * *

I can’t believe Sam stopped to apologise in the middle of a fight.

* * *

I was about to say the thieves’ grungy apartment is red and gold themed in colour, but then the screen cut to… them sitting in the car park of a BIGGERSONS. Yey! My favourite chain (with the maroon and gold logo).

It is statistically likely that Cas has spent at least a couple of hours in this branch in season 8.

I wonder how many times he was the millionth customer, or does that only count if they see you come in through the door?

He was probably all million customers.

* * *

Setting aside my horrible Cas fan girling by the mere vaguest association to his presence, there’s part of that ongoing subtext about Sam and their money - he’s reeeally dubious about the scratch cards Dean shows up with, because he’s worried there’s a kickback on the rabbit’s foot (he is researching it in John’s Journal trying to find anything about it). Dean has no qualms whatsoever about exploiting their current situation for practical ends, and sees nothing too objectionable about this.

If nothing else it’s showing Dean living life in the moment (as per season 3 in general I guess since he’s living it up :P) and Sam thinking long term (as per trying to save Dean for the long term) and maybe even Dean trying to set Sam up with some cash to keep him going after Dean is gone? If he can strike it rich off excellent scratch cards…

* * *

(Didn’t they get a pay out from Bela a few episodes down the line? Never mentioned again. They don’t have debts or bills, but still, they must go through a lot of credit cards keeping Baby fuelled, so who knows how fast it disappeared :P)

* * *

“It doesn’t seem that cursed” *cut directly to our poor dumb thieves*

Welp this is going to be horrible :P Pls don’t put the fork there… 

Nope, too late. These guys just do not listen to me.

* * *

> SAM   
> Now look Bobby, we didn’t know.
> 
> BOBBY   
> You touched it? Damn it, Sam!
> 
> SAM   
> Well Dad never told us about this thing. I mean you knew about his storage place at Black Rock?
> 
> BOBBY   
> His lockup? Yeah, I knew. Hell I built those curse boxes for him.

Surpriiiiiise John never told them something and now they’re in trouble. 

* * *

(Bobby didn’t tell them but it wasn’t his duty to do it as a parent and he presumably would have assumed John would do his job as one and warn the boys about it.)

* * *

Bobby calls it Old World but then says it was made in Baton Rouge. Am I just being a snobby European about the mis-application of that term? :P

* * *

Dean is counting their winnings really slowly in the background literally one episode after he was super slow counting up the years between seeing Lisa and Ben’s age.

I am weirdly sold on Dean being bad at numbers. Maybe I just relate. :P If he has dyscalculia that would explain a lot about his own impression of his intelligence and how he seems to be brilliant at basically everything practical and involving lateral thinking but consistently thinks of himself as kind of a dunce and only got good grades that one time he was mostly settled and happy and comfortable at Sonny’s… 

I’ve seen theories he’s dyslexic too, but I don’t think it affects him as much as an adult at all, except for a lingering reluctance to do a lot of reading for their research. I wonder if he was just slow to learn to read because Mary’s death happened when he was 4 and that’s when kids generally start learning the basics - just the trauma of it would make him slower to learn at first, and so he could genuinely have nothing physically wrong with his ability to read, but have had a slow start and a dislike for it because of growing up being behind the kids his age. While Sam of course would be encouraged all along the way.

(Would maybe venture a headcanon Sam was ahead for his age, Dean behind, and they grew up with roughly the same reading level all the way through because helping Sam with his homework would be where Dean actually cared about learning more.)

* * *

Sam, put it in an INSIDE pocket you can CLOSE.

Pfft. He never listens either.

* * *

Ooh the guy says it’s the one millionth guest for the Biggersons FAMILY which means the chain has been counting all the way across its restaurants. There must only be a couple right now to keep track like that and also not have such high footfall that this would be impossible to track, which means that it has a massive boom in popularity between season 3 and 7.

I wonder if Dick Roman bought it out and aggressively spread Biggersons across the country.

He is inadvertently responsible for Cas’s plan to hide from the angels.

I mean he could have picked a McDonalds or something, but nope. We’re now officially sold on the background story of this many-times plot-important chain.

For lack of better info, this is Mr Biggerson:

You go Mr Biggerson.

Still wondering how the rabbit’s foot managed to manipulate this one.

* * *

> CREEDY   
> Now we eat.
> 
> KUBRIK   
> Good idea. What do you like? I got canned everything.

I weirdly love these guys just because they’re hilarious? And Creedy advertising Biggersons to him? *shakes head* Edlund…

* * *

> DEAN   
> I think from now on, we only go to places with Biggerson’s. 

Cas n Dean’s first date (that they acknowledge is a date). 

“C’mon, I know a great place!”

*pulls up outside Biggerson’s*

*dramatic zoom on Cas’s horrified face*

* * *

BELA. HI!!!

And of course Dean uses the phrase ‘get lucky’ … When of course Bela has made Sam, uh, get unlucky.

And so begins the grandest disaster ever. :D

* * *

Sam picks up coffee like me circa 2014.

* * *

Sam runs like me circa always.

* * *

Hang on… the thieves have a freakin HORSESHOE over their door. Hahaha.

* * *

Sam takes out another lamp. Welp. At this point it’s already an extremely established part of the show’s grand heritage.

* * *

That was an extremely well-choreographed collapse though.

* * *

I am just endlessly amused by hunterwhosenameI’vealreadyforgotten’s Jesusmobile.

* * *

Welp, it’s the beginning of the end of for the shoe. I like how the gum was foreshadowed with a special shot.

*squelch*

Sam NO.

Saaam.

* * *

Okay hang on a mo. Edlund literally was the one who wrote Hollywood Babylon and he’s having Dean blank on remembering the name Lugosi? 

Oh, well he has a moment once he realises and sounds out Bela Lugosi to himself.

Hmm.

* * *

*sad splash of a shoe leaving us forever*

* * *

For the chronicles of Lizzy’s love of red and blue on this show, along with her love of the flowery motels and that pattern of bedspread.

(Wait is Sam wearing shoes again? Maybe he swapped with some spare shoes he had)

* * *

Wow, Bela’s apartment has a LOT of red and gold. It must be the colour of hell deals. (Even the exterior shot of Queens has a hazy red sky and low red sun). Also some red n green, which I can’t decide is showing up as foreshadowing for the Christmas episode or not.

Her cat certainly doesn’t like the rabbit’s foot.

She has a background of glowing yellow. Definitely the colour of a demon deal.

* * *

Sam, don’t rock in your chair. You’re INVITING it to tip over backwards.

His pathetic complaining about the air conditioning unit though.

Poor Sam.

Noooo the nice bedspreads. Saaaaaam.

You utter human disaster.

You are on fire, congratulations. I TOLD YOU THAT JACKET WAS A BAD IDEA.

* * *

I looove Bela and Dean gun-to-gun. I think there’s actual Mexican stand-off music in the background.

* * *

Sam is just so done with this day and it’s the most I’ve ever related to him in my life. :P He just gets so weary when he’s tied to a chair.

“Gordon? Awwww, come on.”

I honestly don’t know how these hunters think Sam is actually a problem because he was so useless. :P

* * *

Sam’s up against the big blue n red circle like a dark halo, while Dean is the one standing in front of the glowing yellow background now.

* * *

> DEAN   
> So you’re only out for yourself, huh? It’s all about number one?
> 
> BELA   
> Being a Hunter is so much more noble? A bunch of obsessed, revenge-driven sociopaths trying to save a world that can’t be saved?
> 
> DEAN   
> Well, aren’t you a glass half-full?
> 
> BELA   
> We’re all going to Hell, Dean. Might as well enjoy the ride.
> 
> DEAN   
> I actually agree with you there.

Aw man, you two. I love how Bela doesn’t know the first thing about him but nails it. Okay, generic description of a hunter, but then the irony that they’re both going to Hell for sure, and she says it like it’s a rhetorical idea musing on how awful humanity is because we don’t know she’s going to Hell yet and she doesn’t know he is…

* * *

I love his “see you!” as he disappears out the door.

Poor scared cat though. :(

* * *

Oh maaan, thinking of [possibly unintentional] dramatic irony:

> KUBRIK Shut up! It’s God, Creedy. He led us here for one reason. To do His work. This … is destiny.
> 
> [luck flips]
> 
> DEAN Nope. No destiny. Just a rabbit’s foot.

Dean vs destiny is back! And as a bonus, Dean vs faith, and faith vs Sam. :P

* * *

Bela’s like “Hi I’m here to ruin everything!”

I have never heard Dean more offended than when he’s yelling at her about going around shooting people.

* * *

Sam suddenly looks much less pathetic even while he’s standing there bleeding.

Ah man, he changed into the brown jacket and was immediately shot while wearing it, through it. And I’m right back to feeling sorry for him. I don’t even remember that jacket showing up before?

* * *

Aaaand back to Gordon getting an inaccurate report on what happened out there.

Misinformation abounds! \o/

Back to the whole Winchesters vs destiny thing… You can’t do anything about bad luck when it comes to you on a cosmic scale. :P


	4. 3x04

Or: I’m pretty sure I read somewhere someone giving this episode credit for namedropping Lucifer (as a character) first, and I would like to remind everyone that he was first mentioned back in Hell House, in the basement with all the jars, and then back in season 2 in Houses of the Holy there was a basement full of jars with a pitchfork leaning against the wall, more BLATANT Satan foreshadowing. Fittingly, I think the “official” first namedrop comes also in a basement. Look at all that subtext!

(Shh.)

(it’s a no-brain headache day.)

* * *

This is one of those episodes I’m not massively sold on just because it makes me feel vaguely uncomfortable all the way through for various reasons. It also acts as our first return to the plot since the opening of the season (which also doesn’t emotionally gel with me you might have noticed :P) so it could just be I have issues with season 3′s arcs.

* * *

First up, the cold open! 

It’s all very thematic and plot relevant especially to the ongoing stuff - this sort of stretches right through the apocalypse arc so it setting a lot of emotional ground work for the grimmest stuff:

> ANDY  
> Father, God’s not with us. Not any more.
> 
> FATHER GIL  
> Andy, of course He is. Why would you say that? What’s wrong?
> 
> ANDY  
> He can’t help us. And if He can… He won’t.

But then like, just right into a regular suicide, no supernatural whatever of any sort implied in here. And as we find out, there  _wasn’t_  anything supernatural about this - he was literally just driven to despair. Because there’s nothing strange going on here except for the presence of demons (I mean the Father is one of them so he is a demon defiling holy ground by wandering around in a church pretending to be a priest for fun so he’s probably said a lot of stuff to influence his congregation negatively) this is just really really bleak. Until we find out the priest is also a demon it’s basically just using the church as a setting to open up the discussion about God on the show - but in the broader world building way.

* * *

After I amused myself with the headcanon of Sam n Bobby researching for fun, we have Dean n Bobby sitting around quietly making things for fun (well okay no they’re fixing the Colt? When did it get broken? Or did they just decide to take it apart? It only ran out of ammo? I never got this part :P).

I like the thought of them quietly working doing engineering stuff anyway.

* * *

Oh, they did just disassemble it to figure it out. This is what happens when you asks yourself questions that always puzzled you and then actually just look for an answer. >.> 

I suppose they can’t make more ammo for it and the fact that it’s clearly well known that even though they say the gun can kill anything, it had finite ammo means that’s just as important and they need to figure out how to make more.  _Without the Mark the Blade is useless_.

* * *

> SAM  
> Elizabethville. It’s a half-dead factory town in the rust belt.
> 
> DEAN  
> There’s got to be a demon or two in South Beach.

(Elizabeth!)

Dean wants to go to the beach in season 3. Compare to Carver era Dean in season 3 mk ii saying they should go to the beach while he’s busy facing a… doom sentence (not a death sentence :P) from the Mark.

I swear, re-watching this and thinking about these writers’ upcoming eras… :P Sera had like 3 separate things from season 6 in the Changeling episode and now Jeremy is doing this? OKAY THEN.

* * *

All these aerial shots of American towns just make me think of Sims neighbourhoods.

* * *

Oh they’re doing their insurance guys thing again. I guess this is their standard excuse for a while? They’re not defaulting to FBI yet.

* * *

As a demon, the priest definitely recognises they’re hunters, if not immediately pegging them for the Winchesters, and he’s definitely having fun implying these people were possessed. :P

* * *

Ah, yes, sleazy Ritchie. Dean seems a bit uncomfortable about him making him look sleazier than normal by association, in front of Sam. He diverts the story about the succubus from discussing her assets to talking about how she nearly killed Ritchie when he could have at least agreed with him and got sidetracked down different thoughts - I think Heart is the first and so far only time we’ve seen Dean in a strip club and he didn’t tell Sam where he was then either. He is however very easy with Ritchie socially in this way that shows they’ve definitely bonded really well in the past even if we’ve never heard about him. So, like, still implying this is company Dean comfortably keeps when Sam isn’t around but also company he doesn’t tell Sam about. 

Also way back in like 1x03 or thereabouts Dean said he’d been with John every second since Sam left which, the fact he was off working at least one case with this guy once again on top of all the other dozens of examples we’ve had, shows how much time he spent unsupervised in the past - and judging by how sleazy Ritchie is, perhaps that he SHOULD have been supervised :P 

I wonder if keeping bad company away from John is more to blame for Dean’s worst behaviour than anything - he wouldn’t act his worst around John even if it is a crappy heterosexual seeming worst, just because that also entails drinking and other undisciplined crappiness - like I bet he’d NEVER dare do drugs if there was a chance John would find out, even as an adult, despite the massive subtext with Dean and drugs… Having some terrible friends on the side away from Sam AND John fills in some gaps in characterisation - these are the other people he’s performing for. (Ritchie remembers Dean but struggles to remember his surname for a moment, and doesn’t mention knowing Dean through John like every other hunter we’ve met so far except for the ones who were hunting Sam last episode.)

Then if you want to go down a different subtext route, there’s the whole thing where [Dean looks delighted to see him but then his face falls](http://f-ckyeahfutbol.tumblr.com/post/111608641146/dean-and-ritchie-have-history-and-you-can-bet) when he sees Ritchie was, uh, entertaining someone. (For a bonus round on ways this episode makes me uncomfortable, Ritchie pretending that was his sister and Dean rolling with the blatant lie). They do have this ridiculous dudebro hunters fighting sexy monsters story they tell, and it’s all just this side of ridiculous and gross, like our missing time with Dean while Sam was at college is potentially full of Ritchies and random hunts which seem to fit more in the sexcapades box… I dunno, he comes across as a guy Dean has history with - history which includes a sexually charged hunt. I can imagine they had a similar bonding experience for example as Dean and Nick the siren - working a job together with a backdrop of sexual stuff, bonding very closely… This is all so dudebro and I still even from very early watches way back when got a sense of their history being more complicated and I can’t even explain where I got that from. :P I dunno. 

I don’t like sleazy Ritchie at all. >.>

* * *

Dean warns him he’ll probably get killed by being terrible at the job. Hm.

* * *

Got an interesting composition here:

Pretty sure those are the lamps from 2x20, and associated with Sam back then - of course right before Yellow Eyes’ plan comes to fruition and Sam was the one more obviously hellbound. 

Hm I wonder where I’m going with pointing out two yellow lights here still haunting them over their shoulder. :P

But yeah, more glowy sulphurous yellow on one side of Dean - but over the other shoulder the image of something that looks like a watery cave or something, probably the ocean, and clouds which make fantastic wing shapes. And of course, the blue of Heaven. I know Sam’s right there too (and spends a bit of time talking it out with the priest demon later in the episode and the picture is attached to him too) but these are one each over DEAN’S shoulders (for the angel/demon shoulder symbolism this show loves so much), so it looks like it’s for him this time. (Given the long cultural symbolism of this, it doesn’t have to mean angel foreshadowing, just a moral dilemma or representation of juggling good and evil.)

This episode has a lot to do with faith, and Dean gets a long conversation with the demon at the end which I remember is a pretty great discussion of the subject (even if I can’t remember what she said. :P)

The bedspreads here are the same COLOUR (gold, kinda shiny) as the ones from Faith/Houses of the Holy, but the pattern is not the same - the stars are missing in favour of either more flowers or more circles *squints* - either way a different theme which is following them this season in the motels, with the flowers from 3x02 and circles from 3x03.

There’s basically no red in the motel room; the boldest colours are all yellows and golds in the trim, and black panelling/door, dark brown wallpaper.

* * *

Actually, Ritchie’s tracksuit has stripes of yellow on it too.

* * *

I legitimately blinked and missed it.

Dean’s longest lasting relationship gets a split second on screen:

This definitely seems to be giving Houses of The Holy a nod then, as this joke is only funny if you remember it well. (Which, that episode had a super sleazy motel room as well - remember all the sexy art on the walls?)

Dean spots it, gives it the “hey how you doing?” look, and grabs a stack of quarters from somewhere to put on top for later.

* * *

They’re shown in a mirror for the second time in short succession. Lots of reflections going on then. 

I think at some point I’ve seen yellow linked to things being not what they seem on this show (notably also Sam’s tie in 2x20) so the return of the lamps from that episode, yellow everywhere, and mirrors reflecting them could also indicate the fact that they’re barking up the wrong tree about the demon problem in town.

A large percentage of the women in the bar and surrounding area are wearing red, but the bartender is boldest red. If red is left as a hangup from earlier seasons meaning humanity/Dean (which is hilarious that the red shirt reappears in season 10 for alarming demon!Dean/Mark of Cain associations) then it could be saying this is all a human problem… Even though the demon is wearing red too, she’s encouraging human behaviour, not doing anything demony?

I dunno. :P

Red is, also, of course, pretty easy to instantly associate with demons/hell/danger/ketchup/blood yadda yadda but in this show Dean has worn it a lot in early seasons and had it associated with him so. *shrug* Symbolism swings both ways too.

* * *

Dean tells Ritchie how great he’s looking then immediately complains about how he could never be attractive enough to hook up with the hot bartender. Dean can be so bitchy. :P

The priest is drinking a drink which has a tiny red plastic cross in it that he waves around a little, which is deeply amusing, given season 10′s love of dropping tiny red plastic pitchforks in Crowley’s drinks.

* * *

Aaand they find out it’s not demons overtly making the people murdery.

Oh, hey! A round of Spot the Stargate Actor I’m actually competent at. :P

* * *

Followed by the shocking and unexpected death of Ritchie (well, maybe you would have expected him to last a  _little_  longer into the episode? He seemed really incautious to go down into the scary basement and not realise something was up… She spent more time lighting candles than actually fighting/killing him…)

* * *

Dean is sitting at a table with a red light behind him as well as a woman in red, red diamonds (diamonds have demon related symbolism - the bedspread in Phantom Traveller, one other plot episode I can’t recall but do remember yelling at the bedspread in, and Shadow; the trellis pattern on the wall at least in Phantom Traveller and Ava’s first episode) and only ketchup on the table. I’m honestly not totally sure of the symbolism of red and ketchup in this season but it’s certainly around. I may be joking about the symbolism but I’m weirdly sold on demons = mustard, humanity = ketchup.

(From season 3 mk ii: “is ketchup a vegetable?” as part of Cas’s struggle with relating to humanity - humanity and their adopted daughter have strong opinions on the matter. Cas had never contemplated it before.)

Sam refers to the fact Dean is ignoring a burger to fret about Ritchie (“You do realise there’s red meat within striking distance.” - hey snarky Sam!) which is weirdly reminiscent of Ruby suggesting he try his own fries a couple of episodes ago. Sam might not eat much, but Dean started the season scarfing down a cheeseburger, so it’s probably important to note he’s distracted from the simple pleasures.

He and Sam are both wearing green (or Dean is in grey against a red background - it’s impossible to tell :P) now - Sam has discovered a frightful shirt I don’t remember showing up very often, possibly because Dean tends to go for the greens and they usually dress them in counterbalance, which makes episodes where they’re on the same colour team stand out.

Sam has yellow at one shoulder and blue at the other, but the other way around from Dean earlier, and they’re beer signs and less instantly evocative of the things they represented in the motel room:

“He’s a moron. I mean he’s a sweet moron, but he’s not a coward.”

Dean thinks Ritchie is sweet and I’m over here like, no, he’s a sleazy jerk and you’re better off without him, honey.

* * *

Team Red Leather Jacket. See also: Purgatory.

* * *

After going completely OTT with the ketchup last time we saw her, Ruby has now got herself a red jacket of humanity to offer her help to Bobby. Allying herself with the cause. Draping herself in the flag. I don’t know.

* * *

I have to say, I love her demon eye reveals more than basically any other character. Katie is just  _really good_  at angling her head and doing the slow blink wide open eyes thing.

* * *

Fascinated by Ruby demanding Bobby shoot her to prove the gun is still useless. This is his first time meeting her and she’s coming to him trying to get him on her side to help with her mission when Sam is being awkward - fixing the gun will help ([and then there’s this](http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/121015842353/they-say-this-gun-can-kill-anything-speculation)) and prove to them she can be useful, generally winning her a lot more brownie points. Think of the other time Bobby met someone who’d saved one of the boys elsewhere and then showed up intimidatingly - I’m talking about him emptying a shotgun into Cas. :P Cas just knocked him out and didn’t care at all - he had laser focus on talking to Dean to get him to help with THAT mission, even appearing to him in dreams just to make sure he got him completely alone. Ruby gets Sam alone because she knows Dean would never trust her, while Bobby and Sam were pretty OK with Cas being an angel without proof and it was Dean who was doubting it in the immediate aftermath when he was the only one who’d seen wings, and if Cas had gone to them for help with convincing Dean to be less stubborn they’d have happily given him the time of day. Not sure it’s an actual parallel since it’s just illustrative of one character being sneaky and employing underhand tactics to get her way, the other upfront and not imaginative enough to do more than tell Dean what the facts are, but the fact Bobby shot both of them on first meeting tickles me, especially with the differences in how that came about.

(I like paralleling Ruby and Cas and you can’t stop me. :P)

* * *

Sam goes to sneak into the office, and the camera angle is all off kilter. Also Dean driving. *tips head to the left*

*tips head to the right*

Did Sam, like, climb into that vending machine not to be noticed?

* * *

Dean does then turn down a prostitute on moral grounds, which does draw a contrast between him and sleazy Ritchie for this episode to show that however they surface level bonded and Dean acted in a way to make them friends, he has different core values. (For the ongoing chronicles of season 3 mk ii: 10x07 - “No ass for cash.” or whatever Dean said.)

We see Dean and the bartender leaving together in the mirror again. (Does she have a name? Have they said it yet?)

I’m not sure when they say it but I looked her up and she’s called Casey.

* * *

*slowly disappears under the desk to avoid Sam’s second hand embarrassment at those guys not being demons*

“Have a nice day.”

* * *

Oh, Dean’s ditched the leather jacket for this part, and is wearing one of his endless collection of flattering canvas jackets. Mm. Casey is wearing a leather jacket instead. I think. Maybe just one of those jackets with the slightly waterproof fabric. *squinting at poor lighting*

Well that jacket didn’t last long for me to guess. It had a nice red lining though.

* * *

Teehee I love her bouncing off the devil’s trap. Dean’s gone to the trouble of drawing the really complicated one - they haven’t learnt the simpler one yet so it takes a lot of forward planning to catch a demon still.

Also: he hasn’t memorised the exorcism yet, which, fair enough, he’s said it maybe 4 times so far.

They let her use her powers outside of the trap, which is rare - though Meg managed to do it and break free while wearing Sam in Bobby’s trap. Perhaps the simpler trap also includes something that stops demons using powers from within it - although she doesn’t seem able to crack the floor and just walk out… Just like in that late season 7 episode, Meg couldn’t smudge the chalk of the trap she was standing in but someone else could easily rub it out with a toe.

*refers self back to the quote from someone like Kripke or Edlund saying that they make up the rules of the ghosts week by week depending on what’s more dramatic*

* * *

I like how with her coat off, Casey’s this bold red colour in a brown dungeon lit with the gold light of candles and Dean is in muted brown as well. I feel like him trading out for the leather jacket to this one is probably to make a point, unless Jensen just had a point where he could say to the costume department “please don’t put me in that 3 ton jacket in a hot indoor set for days on end.” or something. :P Either way he’d have blended in though.

We’re actually only halfway through the episode and we’ve got them stuck down here together.

I like the symbolism of Dean stuck underground with a demon - there’s something very Hell foreshadowing about this. He is helpless and waiting for Sam to come rescue him (which he does, accompanied by the other demon who is deceiving him into thinking he’s a good man for the time being). Like… I almost feel bad that season 3 didn’t go as planned because this would be pretty good foreshadowing for Sam saving him with Ruby’s help? I feel this sums up Carver’s life really. All this foreshadowing and nowhere to go. :P

* * *

Casey says “everyone” says Sam is the brains of the outfit. Which, obviously I am 10000% behind Dean being an extremely smart cookie, and I’m hoping that commenting on it like this is part of a ploy to make you think on how Sam is written surface level as “the smart one” but Dean brings plenty to the table. Of course, considering his surface level characterisation apparently backed up by him not remembering the exorcism yet, uh.

I don’t know :P Sam was a dweeb last time we saw him on screen.

* * *

Sam is weirdly naive as well when we get back to him: he brushes off the same sales pitch from the prostitute before she can get too far with “maybe later” and then looks all awkward and confused until he realises the new bartender is implying he needs a few bucks to help him remember where Casey went. “Does everyone in this town have their hand out?” he doesn’t even possibly realise he was just asked if he’d pay for sex? Or he does, which makes that comment from him to her weird. The bartender goes on to imply Sam’s going to go peep on Casey and Sam pays him more instead of disputing that he’s not immoral, implying to the bartender’s POV Sam may as well be. The prostitute watches the whole thing with interest. He gives her a strange look all the way out the door. Honestly not sure what that was all about. Maybe an illustration of various odd human vices at work and how blind eyes are turned by cash and so on?

* * *

I just twigged Dean and Casey are in a wine cellar in particular. He uses a barrel to try to escape, but there’s bars in the way stopping him. Vague metaphor for alcohol not doing the same for you emotionally?

Casey randomly advocates meatsuit rights: whereas Ruby cheerfully let her meatsuit get shot just to make a point, demon!Casey thinks the original Casey is too cute to let her get hurt, and is just riding around in her for fun. She may have done some horrible stuff and it’s not voluntary possession, but she’s implying Casey is alive in there and she doesn’t want her roughed up. Aw man.

> CASEY  
> Me and Trotter. He had a cheeseburger, I had a salad, and I just pointed out the money that could be made with a few businesses that cater to harmless vice. So Trotter built it, and, man, did they come. Supposedly God-fearing folk, waist-deep in booze, sex, gambling. I barely lifted a finger.
> 
> DEAN  
> That’s it?
> 
> CASEY  
> You don’t get it. All you got to do is nudge humans in the right direction. Some whiskey here, a hooker there, and they’ll walk right into hell with big, fat smiles on their faces. Your kind is corrupt, Dean. Weak.  
>   
> Our will’s stronger. That’s why we’ll win.
> 
> DEAN  
> And that’s how it ends?
> 
> CASEY  
> No. That’s how it begins.

(Okay but cheeseburger/salad… I have been informed Sam may not start eating salads until season 4, whatever that sign in 3x02 was suggesting, but Dean is the cheeseburger guy, so maybe the cheeseburger/salad binary meant it was inevitable Sam would become Salad Guy? I DON’T KNOW.)

This does seem to imply that when humans reach a certain level of vice they will go to Hell anyway, but it could be that this is just about the helpless suicides and murderers and drawing out those who would use and exploit others to encourage them to be awful past some random line - super not comfortable with the implication that  _everyone_  involved in catering to/indulging in vice is evil and going to Hell. Not least because of the random selection of characters we see making it to Heaven. :P Probably the Novaks are the only actual god fearing folk we’ve seen up there who lived quiet faithful lives before everything was ruined. 

Anyway also interesting that she says “your kind is corrupt” considering how much focus there is on the corruption of mankind in Carver Era (e.g. Gadreel showing up; everything about Cain). 

* * *

Sam really is the most awkward dork this episode. He managed to have an awkward moment with Casey’s (extremely red and gold) apartment’s door. 

* * *

> DEAN  
> So, demons take over. I thought the meek shall inherit the earth.
> 
> CASEY  
> Oh, according to your Bible. It’s only a book, Dean.
> 
> DEAN  
> Not everyone would agree.
> 
> CASEY  
> Because it’s God’s book? (pause) Do you believe in God, Dean? I’d be surprised if you did.
> 
> DEAN  
> I don’t know. I’d like to.

Aaaw Deeean. He doesn’t know what the guy in the cold open said, but that depressing speech was reminiscent of what he says in the confession booth in 10x16. Which was talking to an actual priest. Talking to a demon, and being honest in the same way (because who cares what a demon thinks, and in this case it’s a contrary opinion he’s allowed to have) he admits that he at least  _likes_  the idea, before he really knows that his early suspicions about bad stuff happening from Faith etc were much more along the right line: here he expresses the idea that, I guess, it would be nice if he was able to think it and fall into that comfortable place of faith, which is the closest he’s come so far, and part of why this whole struggle is so sad for him, because the irony that’s waiting for him is that finding out God as whatever sort of concept existed, somehow makes this a much worse universe than if he didn’t. And he let himself get right up to the line of wanting it for himself even if he didn’t have it.

Ugh. 

* * *

> CASEY  
> Well, I don’t see how you and your God, have done such a bang-up job. War, genocide — it’s only getting worse. I mean, this past century, you people racked up a body count that amazed even us.  
>   
> It’s our turn now, and we’re gonna do it right this time. 

More humans suck propaganda. She’s HEARD about Sam and so must know what he’s supposed to be to demons, though she hasn’t mocked Dean about that, which you’d think she would since it’s a sore spot for him. This sounds like more general apocalypse talk about demons inheriting the earth.

…

It’s one of those self-defeating things where human souls = more demons so a kill all humans mentality means finite demons.

They probably just want a chance to wreck shit and run things, which is exactly the model she has going here in one small town. Just have the audacity and numbers to have demons in charge everywhere, and encourage humans to go pouring into Hell under their own steam. Hell is other people, blah blah. 

Obviously the average demon doesn’t seem to know the fine print of the actual Biblical apocalypse or even that anyone’s trying to kickstart that in particular.

* * *

There’s a lot more green all over the place in the scene with Sam at the bar. I honestly have no idea what this is about, I’m just commenting for the sake of remembering the colour symbolism was used here, in the hope of piecing it together later. :P There was a green sign in the window above Sam n Ruby’s first proper conversation. Now he goes to talk to the possessed priest (who is sitting on the diamond patterned seat).

* * *

> CASEY  
> Why would I lie?
> 
> DEAN  
> Demons lie.
> 
> CASEY  
> Some do.

Today on: Monsters are way more complicated than you think, Dean. 

Also: demons seem to lie less often than the main characters, and certainly enjoy the whole perception of “demons lie” to tell an outrageous amount of untrustworthy sounding truth.

> DEAN  
> You have a god?
> 
> CASEY  
> Sure. His name’s Lucifer.
> 
> DEAN  
> You mean the Devil?
> 
> CASEY  
> Your word, not ours. Lucifer actually means “light bringer.” Look it up.  
>   
> Once he was the most beautiful of all God’s angels, But God demanded that he bow down before Man, and when he refused, God banished him.

Pfft Lucifer. He loves being put up on a level with God. 

Nice sneaking in of angels into canon (see also: that painting) in a way where it’s a demon talking so sounds like an untrustworthy truth. She’s literally telling us exactly the canon facts about Lucifer the demons have to work with, and in fact, a lot of angels have to work with. It’s possible just the archangels actually would even know the retcon from the end of season 10 on Lucifer’s motivations?

I think the fact Hell has been represented through lights this season (ketchup aside) counts as Lucifer foreshadowing with the emphasis on him as the light bringer?

* * *

During this conversation Dean moves around to talk to her through a big rack of wine bottles. It’s probably symbolic. I’ve been watching this episode for 3 days now on and off so moving on. :P 

* * *

Dean don’t ask her what Hell is like while you’re all lit by flickery golden light from underneath from all those candles. :<

Aaall the demons know what he’s done.

I wonder if her joke about him not getting the presidential suite links with her comment about Dick Cheney? 

(I know he wasn’t the actual President but close enough?)

* * *

I know the demon priest showed his eyes for our benefit but it does make you wonder how well demons can control it - they seem to have issues when upset or surprised occasionally.

* * *

The demon priest is shown as genuinely concerned for Casey (more mistrustful truths from demons - we think he’s a priest concerned for Casey who’s not Casey any more, but then we’re shown he’s a demon so are we supposed to think he was just lying? No, it turns out he genuinely cares about her)

And then we cut back to Casey and Dean, where she’s genuinely starting to warm up to him.

> CASEY  
> You’re all right, Dean. (DEAN scoffs.) The others don’t describe you that way. But, you know, you’re — you’re likable.
> 
> DEAN  
> A demon likes me.  
> Sorry, I don’t know how to respond to that.

She feels empathy for his choice in making the deal, and Dean says his dumb thing about not worrying about the future because he doesn’t have one. Like, even if we take that to mean some far off ideal of the future, we’ve actively seen him sad about not being able to have his ideal with Ben and Lisa this season, presented as a possible future. So he’s not worrying over the possibility of it, but it’s still upsetting him to know he can’t have it.

Casey asks him if he’s scared and he gets a nice long stare into the distance after he says no before we cut back to Sam. Even with his face neutral, the fact the camera lingers there for ages tells us we’re meant to be thinking more about this response in that time. If it had cut instantly away, it would have been the surface level, but the extra second literally just exists to say there’s more.

* * *

Aw and here’s the demon priest trying to give Sam a subtle pep talk to be the boy king. All the demons are so concerned.

> FATHER GIL  
> Mmm, anything. You seem like a pretty smart kid. Somehow I see you out in front of the pack. (pause) You could do some great things. 

… Jesus Christ, Carver. This demon just called Sam “his brother’s keeper.”

>.> My season 3 mk ii jar is filling up rapidly. 

> FATHER GIL  
> Well, it’s your life. Does, um … Dean?
> 
> SAM  
> Yeah, Dean.
> 
> FATHER GIL  
> Does he find trouble often?
> 
> SAM  
> Yeah. Yeah, Dean finds his fair share.
> 
> FATHER GIL  
> Well, it’s a good thing he has you — his brother’s keeper.

In this case I don’t know how well broadcast it is across Hell that Sam would try to save Dean from the deal, but I’m guessing there’s a little demon bathroom walls style gossip going on. I don’t think there’s a general order around to tell them to try and get Sam back on the right path but the demons are clearly curious and want to poke at this idea to see what is going on with their promised boy king when they find him by chance.

This poking of the idea is interesting because the line from the Bible is apparently Cain’s (I’ve always wondered but assume people take it out of context a little to be a good thing about looking after your brother as some sort of ideal Cain actually subverted but was expressing that brothers SHOULD be each other’s keepers? I dunno I am not a Bible scholar I just find it weird this line is attributed to a guy who killed his brother but used in positive ways about brothers :P), which makes Sam Cain and Dean Abel apparently, and while Dean carries a standing order to kill Sam (or save him) which still applies and is right when Sam’s arc is meant to get super dark in a way which might have tripped that discussion again, as the next logical step of the special children arc that didn’t happen.

I don’t know, it’s interesting that this association doesn’t really work all that well for Sam even here (whatever might have happened at the end of season 3 set aside to look at what we got), and later in season 10 Dean is much more obviously associated with Cain (:O woah really Lizzy?)… Even in the apocalypse arc, it’s strongly implied that since he’d beaten him before, Michael would have killed Lucifer so if Dean had said yes he’d have been killing Sam (and Cas still thought Michael would do it in the fight we got). Abel being turned into the one who was talking to Lucifer and killed righteously by Cain even though Cain was then made the famously “evil” one matches the pattern we got from the precursors (actual Lucifer n Michael) and the descendants (Sam n Dean). You could even say that Cain killing Abel was him doing the equivalent of what John’s last words were to Dean. So when Cain challenges Dean that he saved his brother instead of killing him, he’s echoing John. I would say the end of season 4 is probably the only time Dean actually would have been put in a position to be tested by it on a personal level, and then the end of season 5 is also where he gets involved in this storyline, but they’re just proxies for Lucifer and Michael, so Sam not getting killed outright there was him being saved from the story, rather than the actual interpersonal bro drama…

I am waffling. I am intrigued that this line was applied way back when, especially with all the meaning it’s accumulated since.

…

And both cases where Sam tries to “keep” his brother (releasing him from the deal spiralling into working with Ruby and all that vs saving him from the Mark spiralling into giving Rowena the resources to do the spell) he ends up unleashing Lucifer or the Darkness, while Dean just commits to not killing Sam over and over, falling into the subversion of the Cain story multiple times. Sam gets in a terrible way with the various causes of the Cain n Abel story per the show’s own mythos thus being the uninterrupted Abel thanks to having a subversion* of Cain’s story for his brother.

*Obviously I recognise Dean killing Sam WHEN Death insisted would have been pointless re: no Darkness because of the timing being too close and the misinformation at hand about the spell, BUT for the sake of thematic argument… :P

Basically, Sam’s doomed to terrible mistakes so long as Dean is doomed not to kill him.

I think this perhaps might be one of those other things that makes me think that if a Winchester had to die for good, it would be Sam via Dean. I say it a lot and I don’t think it would happen BUT thematically this is why it would. :P If you get what I’m hypothetically saying.

The actual deliberate behavioural subversion for Sam akin to Dean CHOOSING not to kill him would be not to make the mistake at all, or to recognise he was making it and not commit to it.

It’s the whole Sam sucks at Free Will thing I was talking about a few episodes ago somewhere: Dean (and Cas) are GOOD at Free Will and deciding to fuck destiny and do what feels right. They break out of narratives and fates all the time. Sam fought for himself within Lucifer but he still said yes as fated beforehand. He still unleashed various things as predicted. (There was no fate on him in season 10 BUT if we assume he was following the Cain n Abel PATTERN and Dean was going to be brought to that same point for the same REASON Cain was brought to his, then yeah. Life in reverse yadda yadda. It was a situation forced narratively and personally for Sam as a character by Dean having the Mark).

So if Sam is given another moment of huge semi-fated fuck up where hypothetically the only way to have stopped it happening would have been to kill him a couple of episode ago but Dean predictably didn’t, but have Sam make a personal choice not to do the thing and face different consequences, would be a good way to pull out of a spiralling nosedive of repeating their pattern.

Because obviously the no-good way to pull out of it would be for Dean to stop making decisions contrary to his fate, and since his overall doom is to kill Sam, consistently, for 10 seasons now, the moment he stopped fighting fate he’d have to kill Sam for one reason or another.

* * *

Anyway unexpectedly I actually have a season 3 episode to watch.

* * *

Back to Dean n Casey! Who are now getting a cute “n” between their names because I am liking them more and more. :P (You can tell how much a dynamic interests me if I stop typing extra letters to move their names closer together. :P) (It’s not a shipping thing I am fairly certain I’ve typed “Cas n Crowley” at least a couple of dozen times :P)

They both seem to be getting bored and by bored I mean Dean and demons have the same default state of horny instead, but he’s not stepping into that devil’s trap and would mostly likely never hit it anyway because ew demon cooties. They default to discussing the plan. Or, lack of one. This is like the biggest info dump episode ever. No wonder I am 4 days into watching it while suffering a complete absence of attention span. Casey not only gets to namedrop Lucifer, but Azazel too, finally putting a name with the eyes. 

> DEAN  
> So, the gate opened. The demon army was let out. What now, huh? I’m not seeing a big, honking plan here.
> 
> CASEY  
> Honestly, there was a plan. Azazel was a tyrant, but … he held us all together.
> 
> DEAN  
> Azazel?
> 
> CASEY  
> What, you think his friends just called him “yellow eyes”? He had a name. After you did him in, it all fell apart.
> 
> DEAN (smiling)  
> Sorry about that. So, what? No chain of command?
> 
> CASEY  
> There was. It was Sam. Sam was supposed to be the grand pooh-bah and lead the big army, but … he hasn’t exactly stepped up to the plate, has he?
> 
> DEAN  
> Thank God for that.
> 
> CASEY  
> Again with God. You think this is a good thing? Now you’ve got chaos, a war without a front, hundreds of demons all jockeying for power, all fighting for the crown. Most of them gunning for your brother. For the record, I was ready to follow Sam.

Most of this was kind of obvious in the background but probably needed some spelling out: the demons really don’t have a clue what to do, Azazel really was the only one who knew what was happening (perhaps as a result of it being so hard to get demons on the ground; Bobby spelled out how few there were before season 1, and “Hundreds” is still an almost modest number for an army).

(Interesting for Sam vs fate, actually: he was killed because Dean distracted him (would he have killed Jake if the two of them had been left alone and Sam had stayed scared and cautious? He had the upper hand at that point until he turned his back and was ruthless killing him later) and it was Dean who ruined everything by shooting Azazel not Sam, who was sidelined for the fight. If Sam was MEANT to have died and the demons are only latching onto Sam as the survivor so apparently the chosen one by default, not particularly because of long fate (the average demon seems uninformed on long-running destiny), then Dean also wrecked that by bringing Sam back and having him kill Jake but not be emotionally ready to lead a demon army as his replacement. If Sam was fated to win the tournament, then he still went along and shot Jake anyway regardless of not fitting the profile for the Boy King - he still was the one who went along with Azazel’s plan and was the sole survivor of the special children and fought that battle himself - an emotional or poor timing subversion as he did it for good and not power, but still on the SURFACE he did the part he was fated to do, and so ended up the icon for the demon army.)

* * *

Aww and then Casey gets all defensive of Dean when her lover tries to kill him. She’s not trying to look cool or anything here - we have our first recorded instance of a demon genuinely feeling compassionate for pointless human things! \o/

Not that Dean starts trusting their emotional outbursts EVER but still. :P Carver messing with the what makes a monster theme and tentatively applying it to demons by giving us Casey as the most complex and interesting demon in ages. Considering Meg 1.0 was more Abaddon-like in just being a violent sexy sledgehammer and it’s only Gamble-era Meg 2.0 who starts getting fleshed out (brief conversation with Lucifer in Abandon All Hope aside), Casey is a bit of a forerunner. (I mean there are other interesting demons before and after especially depending on your Ruby interpretation but she’s sticking out and Ruby’s been very enigmatic and only starts showing more than implied complexity later - 3x09 I think? And anyway we should honour random female characters who don’t get nearly enough attention so she gets a pointless statistic because I say so.)

Dean tries to repay the favour for Casey but isn’t quick enough to interrupt Sam’s pretty clinical execution, which did after all save him because Casey’s plea wasn’t working to the priest either. 

Bye Casey. :(

* * *

There’s still a load of people wandering around the town in red, being awful humanity.

* * *

Dean asks Bobby if Sam might have come back wrong based on what Azazel said, and Bobby’s like “Naaaah, demons lie.” Well… Some do.

Thanks Casey. :P

Bobby and Dean don’t seem that convinced.

* * *

One more mirror shot. 

So we have them literally upside down and distorted in their reflections. I WONDER if things may not be as they seem here? Sam is wearing yellow and blue: the warring morality colours, but he is surrounded by the room’s bold yellows - the colour of demon deals. Ruby wanders in in her red jacket but gold hair (this room is her aesthetic I swear :P). 

The picture being caught upside down and at the very bottom of the screen when it used to look like an angel sort of gives it a fallen angel meaning - something even without the angel lore, people call demons sometimes especially in historical stuff (I have a hokey fake witch hunt poster on my wall for example… No idea how authentic even the source material it might have been based on would be but it invokes the language you’d stereotypically expect:

This is… mostly me trying not to retroactively tin-hat the angel reveal despite now being reminded Casey called Lucifer an angel, is all. :P)

* * *

> SAM  
> Yeah, well, maybe you don’t care, but I killed two humans, too.
> 
> RUBY  
> Sam, you know what happens when demons piggyback humans. They leave them rode hard and put up wet. Chances are those two would have died a slow, sticky death. You probably did them a favor.

*clears throat and points back to Casey saying how she cared about her meatsuit not getting damaged*

*points at Ruby taunting Bobby to shoot her*

* * *

Oh yikes, Sam calls her a bitch. He really is turning into Dean.

Ruby has the yellow lanterns in the background of her shots. Sam has the (fallen) angel painting at his back.

Now Ruby taunts Sam to shoot her, but knowing exactly that he won’t do it.

> RUBY  
> This won’t be easy, Sam. You’re gonna have to do things that go against that gentle nature of yours. There’ll be collateral damage… But, it has to be done. 

*eye twitches at the memory of how often “I did what I had to do” was said in season 9*

And here Ruby reminds Sam that there will be collateral damage to saving Dean, with the killing of Casey and the priest’s meatsuits as the first round (which he already did anyway to save Dean so he knows he can do it). Sam agreeing to work with her in this case means admitting upfront the damage that trying to save the imperilled brother of the season causes. 

… Yeah, Mystery Spot Sam really doesn’t come out of nowhere. :P

Oh! Ruby actually says she’ll be the fallen angel on his shoulder, in a shot where he turns away and she hovers behind him in that position behind his shoulder. So the painting was only telling us what he’d do in like 1 minute. :P

* * *

Oh god the episode is finally over. I have been so flaky I’m pretty sure I started this episode immediately after my last rewatch then 2 full days and a bit on either side has gone by before I was done. I hope it’s worth it. :P


	5. 3x05

* * *

I should probably mention I actually made half my university degree about enjoying twisted fairytales and folklore and stuff. My entire rewatch is therefore just dark chuckling because this episode is ridiculously up my street.

* * *

On the other hand this episode is literally 8x08 without Cas and therefore my rewatch is a  _little_  bit more “Where’s Cas?!?!?” compared to normal.

* * *

*darkly chuckles at the cold open* 

* * *

I always worry about the frog that’s sitting in the middle of the road with the Impala zooming towards it.

* * *

> SAM …pull the gun on her, and force her to let you out of the deal!
> 
> DEAN We don’t even know if that’ll work!
> 
> SAM Well then we’ll just shoot her! If she dies then the deal goes away!

Sam vs complicated problem solving: shoot things until it gets better.

> DEAN […] because if we screw with this deal, you die!
> 
> SAM And if we don’t screw with it, you die!

Aah season 3. >.>

I do ramble on about Dean having to reinforce to himself what his life is worth compared to Sam all through the season, but Sam is doing the same thing, or at least, recklessly hoping that they can find a way that saves himself along the way, while knowing it’s dead certain that Dean will die if they do nothing; intervention offers the slim maybe they both get out alive.

HOWEVER Sam is quietly in the same spiral Dean was in in early season 2 coming to terms with the deal and valuing his  _own_  life against Dean’s. Unlike with John to Dean, Sam has Dean still around for a year to argue about this with, and so they get to sound out the morality of doing it before the payment is due, putting them in a limbo where there’s still a window for the issue to go away - but more importantly for Sam’s later downward spiral, he gets a year of cruel hope that  _something_  might be done.

> DEAN Sam, enough! I am not going to have this conversation.
> 
> SAM Why, because you said so?
> 
> DEAN YES, BECAUSE I SAID SO!
> 
> SAM Well you’re not Dad!

Weeeeeell, symbolically… 

I wonder if Dean is so angry about this by now because he knows this is a hypocritical stance and he understands exactly what Sam is going through - and he’s angry because he never got to say these things to John, but knows they’re exactly what he  _would_  have said if he had the chance.

There’s a red light falling on them in this conversation. 

* * *

Dean just says to stop talking about it, and then insists that Sam tell him about the case they’ve found - this is season 1 level shut Sam up tactics… Right after being told he’s not John, Dean diverts back into the stuff he was doing in season 1 to control Sam while channelling John. Hmm.

* * *

Dean nominating Sam to be the sketch artist. Teehee.

… Wait I am making that comment immediately after talking about how Dean controls Sam over serious stuff. Suddenly not sure if silly brother stuff or Dean reasserting his top of the food chain place over Sam by making him do stuff, and having him concede to Dean’s authority blah blah win the other argument by proxy.

* * *

Dean is watching Sam draw the thing and not cracking up. Give him some credit.

* * *

Random unexpected feels about brothers getting killed. Possibly just to remind you that they do actually like each other, even if they yell (and the whole point of all the yelling was because they don’t  _want_  the other to die, although along with a shit ton of rubbish about the emotional pitfalls of trading your life for someone).

* * *

Ooh I forgot (somehow, despite cramming in the sketch artist picture into every post where I can) that the Big Bad Wolf had a Wiley Coyote tattoo. Literally 8x08 was just taking this episode’s premise and shaking it around to see what fell out instead. 

I know the girl is astral projecting herself but I have a strong feeling she’s kinda psychic too with the way she influenced people. She didn’t seem to be possessing them as much as watching the story, and 8x08 adds a lot of context.

* * *

Pfftthehehehe

“It’s a, you know, work in progress.”

“Hm, it’s really… huh.”

I’m still impressed with how much it actually looks like the guy when they find him. I think Sam has secret psychic powers still. But not much. His art talent was directly linked to psychic ability with the tree he drew in Home, and so this is a representation of his dwindled powers.

* * *

Ooh, distance shot of the woods. This is weirdly high budget. They actually have outdoor footage from a distance that isn’t of the car. Maybe they borrowed the clip from somewhere.

And here we have the first of  _three_ Hansel and Gretel references of the show, and our second 8x08 link via Cas’s admirer. 

WHERE IS CAS? THIS SWEET OLD LADY IS MISSING HER CHARLES.

*dramatic pie zoom*

Oh man that pie looked good. Shame it was full of drugs. There was… a pastry mishap.

The old woman is so sweet with her dainty stabbing of the guy.

This wouldn’t have happened if Charles was here.

* * *

It’s interesting to have the commentary about stories getting sanitised over time said by Sam (also his random nerd knowledge of monsters and horrible things clearly shows at some point his research into folklore crossed over into idly reading about the original fairy tales - he was reading about trolls and fairies for the Changeling episode so it’s not hard to imagine he’d be led down this track one way or another over the years).

Anyway, this episode is pretty straight up about the stories themselves, just pointing out they are darker than people thing, and then showing us that darkness, but it’s a good jumping off point for this theme I guess.

* * *

Dean is all ugh research. 

Sam apparently made Dean do all the research while waiting outside. Pfft. :P

Oh no, Sam was off doing some other, apparently more interesting, thread of research. He comes up with another suggestion based off following some more of his (accurate) intuitive guesses about this case… Are we  _sure_  he’s not still a little bit psychic? At least in the really really low-key good at ghosts way he suggested way back in Asylum or Home or thereabouts? Meanwhile he’s sent Dean to do the brute force research of just looking through a lot of names and data without requiring a lot of extra thought or creative guesses.

* * *

Oh okay he is suggesting that ghosts can control people in trances. Which we never hear of again and it turns out the girl isn’t  _exactly_  a ghost, so I still think she could have been psychic. Shh. :P

* * *

Dean has a silent gay panic about the thought that someone might be required to kiss the frog that’s apparently following them around to turn it back into a prince. 

> DEAN All right, maybe it is fairy tales. Totally messed-up fairy tales. I tell you one thing, there’s no way I’m kissing a damn frog. 

[like 10 seconds later]

> DEAN Dude, could you be more gay? 

A very quick turn around from staring at a frog being confronted with a long contemplation of the fact that if he kissed it it would be turned into a dude (not, like, that they should find a princess to do the thing for them to see if that’s what’s what)… He invited this one on himself. :P Perhaps it’s the idea of the frog finding them, like it’s somehow latched onto him as someone who could kiss it.

Honestly how does he not know it’s a lady frog?

* * *

Dean’s fragile masculinity aside, this feels a bit like punishing Sam for something that seems connected to childhood memories - the whole episode is about a robbed childhood in the case study of the ghost, and if Sam has any memories of any classic Disney from being a kid rather than research into folklore as an adult, Dean may be reacting against Sam being allowed to be a child: if he was off learning to shoot with John and Sam was watching cartoons somewhere safe, for example.

* * *

Also the girl may be somehow drawing frogs out and inspiring mice to run around on top of pumpkins for her own amusement, but I doubt she could actually transform anyone into an animal, given how the Big Bad Wolf was just a dude with a tattoo, so if Dean kissed it it would have been an entirely pointless exercise in play gay chicken with himself by smooching an amphibian.

… Not going to lie, I’d have enjoyed a clip of that. :P

* * *

There’s red flowers everywhere in this episode: at the old lady’s house, at the hospital in various places, at this new Cinderella house they’re breaking and entering, which is full of plants and various flowers…

* * *

The little girl is actually so sweet… She’s not so scary as many of the kids on this show. I mean she’s as emotionless as the changeling kids with all her staring and walking, but she’s just not threatening.

* * *

Also she turned into an apple. I like the literal back and forth of them throwing the apple as they sound out the case.

* * *

Did the wolf guy survive this episode? He was only being controlled to do what he did… /depressing shades of season 8 Cas while we’re here

* * *

Aah so they’re talking about her like she did just become a vengeful spirit while out of her body (and she did disappear like a ghost and was setting off the EMF scanner). So her body is literally what’s tethering here - she as her spirit hasn’t actually been inside it for all this time, so she’s deteriorated like a vengeful ghost. (Dean as a spirit in 2x01 was basically a ghost too)… I suppose you could argue that being psychic by the rules of this world is sort of like being able to do what ghosts can do but while awake and alive. There is an emphasis on having a connection to the other side, after all.

This episode also brings us to exploring the idea of people’s spirits/souls still being up to stuff while they’re in a coma in the lead up to Dream a Little Dream possibly? Dropping by into that territory early in a “light” way (this story is super depressing :P) before they get to the main characters doing something similar…

* * *

> DEAN Hey, you know fairy tales, I know movies. 

Nice easy summary of their skill sets. :P

* * *

Aww Dean, honey. Your idea of the weirdest thing you’ve ever said is so… small. One day you’re going to have to warn Sam he needs to go stop a 10 storey high robot that shoots lasers and you’ll both be deadly serious about it.

* * *

I never got why when Sam told the truth to the doctor about his family history he was like “Why would you be so horrible?” *slams door on him* - he DOES think Sam is a detective working the case of the attacks in town because they’ve talked about half the attacks already. Sure, it’s unrelated, but if Sam had found that out through the course of a regular investigation and tried to break it to him the way he did, and Sam was legit a detective… The only difference is we but not the doctor know he is “only” a concerned citizen. 

I suppose for the sake of having a door closed in his face while trying to save someone so he can argue that they need to be saved.

~theeemes~

He barges in and says it and finds out that the Doctor has seen her around and actually knows  _something_  is up and is willing to listen after a little talking around. Still not sure that warrants his childish reaction but it does perhaps suggest he was trying to protect Callie though he didn’t know why when the subject of her coma came up out of the blue.

* * *

Dean busts into the little red riding hood house, and its red and gold in colours again, much stronger in theme now he’s on his own. The curtains or something make the room have yellow light that falls on their faces when the Big Bad Wolf jumps out on him and they start fighting. 

* * *

I like how Callie has  _flawless_  skin and make up in that bed. I bet the Doctor does it for her. :3 Maybe the step-mom used to as a show of how much she loved her (they said it might be that thing where she does it to get sympathy and attention for her troubles and so doting on Callie would gain her points) and then the Doctor carried on doing Callie’s make up.

* * *

It’s interesting that she’s just another ghost who wants the truth. Sam saw the whole Dana Shulps thing through with Dean on the sideline when it was Dean concealing stuff from him at the start of season 2, but now Sam is concealing working with Ruby (kinda - they don’t really do much together, she just follows him around all season occasionally offering advice :P), he’s the one who once again watches the heartfelt moment about a ghost just trying to make the truth heard.

* * *

Meanwhile, Dean bests the Big Bad Wolf in a fist fight after some brutal smashing up of the house, and is just about to stab him in a weirdly ritualistic way with a knife over his head in both hands, when the Big Bad Wolf snaps out of it. 

Honestly thinking of the poor bloke as a Cas mirror 5 seasons down the line is just hurting me more than I should let it since he has no idea what he did but he’s going to find out he killed people, and then he’s actually going to end up in as much a bad way as season 8 Cas except worse as angels probably have better scope for imagining they may be mind controlled and forced to kill. Everyone spare a moment of sympathy for Big Bad Wolf guy.

* * *

Wow, then Dean equates himself directly to Callie and tells Sam he should let him go in the same way - his borrowed time as the deal runs out compared to her being in the coma. Then walks off down a darkened corridor towards a red EXIT sign. I wonder what on eeeeearth that symbolism could be about.

(I was just going to say “hmm” but then I figured, once more for the road. :P)

* * *

And by “for the road” I mean there’s 5 minutes left.

* * *

I was just going to idly screencap it because I liked it and not actually include it in the post, but then it faded directly into:

Its quaint fairytale equivalent (right over Dean’s bed, in the place where dreams are represented, like a thought bubble).

I have a lot of feelings about Supernatural as actual folklore, like, with the stories that are told, and how they’re told, and the main characters as folkloric heroes and blah blah, stuff I’d need to dust off some old books of mine to really talk about properly. :P Suffice to say, going from the hum drum exterior shot of the realities of life on the road to this mystical fairytale woodland with the puddle as a great lake and the dull motel as a mill, bigger hills, bigger trees, no sodium lights or bright vending machine… Sort of putting the magic into what they do and making the leap of imagination into the stories that happen around them.

* * *

Sorry for the blurry picture because it’s a panning shot, but:

A different sort of these yellow hell lights beside him, burning even when he’s asleep (Dean is sleeping with the light on? :P It seems weird that Sam would turn it on when he’s perfectly capable of sneaking around in the dark and it barely casts a glow past its own table). Dean is all bundled up in mustard yellow quilts, as well, and rolling around uncomfortably like he is having bad dreams.

* * *

I do think it’s sweet Sam has managed to keep his old camo backpack all this time - I guess bad things rarely happen to their bags, but I’m interested in how long it lasts, as it’s a hang up of student!Sam.

Obviously grown adults can use backpacks as much as they please IRL, but there’s still something evocative in visual language of being a student with it. I don’t remember Sam using it much/at all in later seasons (it’s pretty small compared to their huge duffel bags, and clearly an actual personal item which he probably keeps his most personal things in).

* * *

The camera pans back across to Dean from that yellow lamp once more, telling us why Sam is doing what he’s doing moments before we actually find out.

* * *

Aww, Sammy’s first crossroads demon. 

I don’t think this is meant to be the same crossroads as the other time and any other time they need a crossroads they can bury stuff at, but there’s a windmill there too.

She’s probably learned not to walk under it by now.

* * *

She knows Ruby! And complains that Ruby is a pain in the ass who’ll get what’s coming to her, which gives Ruby enemy of my enemy points to Sam, anywho. Whoops.

* * *

She does the same thing Dean does to Bela that got Sam shot saying that she doesn’t think he’d shoot her. She should really pay attention…

> CROSSROADS DEMON I don’t know. Aren’t you tired of cleaning up Dean’s messes? Of dealing with that broken psyche of his? Aren’t you tired of being bossed around like a snot-nosed little brother? You’re stronger than Dean. You’re better than him.
> 
> SAM Watch your mouth.
> 
> CROSSROADS DEMON Admit it. You’re here, going through the motions. But truth is … you’ll be a tiny bit relieved when he’s gone.
> 
> SAM Shut up.
> 
> CROSSROADS DEMON No more desperate, sloppy, needy Dean. You can finally … be free.
> 
> SAM I said shut up!
> 
> CROSSROADS DEMON Huh. Doth protest too much if you ask me.

Whoops, we HAD Dean bossing Sam around more noticeably than normal this episode.

While I obviously don’t think Sam wants Dean dead, it’s interesting they’d float this idea. Obviously Sam is wrecked when Dean dies for real, and I think Mystery Spot showing us a cold, meticulous and tidy Sam compared to all the sloppiness and emotion Dean brings to the table actually shows that they balance each other out and bring down each other’s worse traits to something more normal (probably not a coincidence they showed us Dean would bond with people like sleazy Ritchie last episode to give an idea of the rough edges he has when Sam isn’t around). 

Not saying this is a good thing, but it shows how they can’t function without each other, at least when they’re forcibly ripped apart (Dean was better during Stanford era if only because Sam was alive and wasn’t in any immediate danger so even if he wasn’t a great person he was at least making himself into his own person without Sam. Meanwhile Mystery Spot is a worst case scenario within an already worst case scenario for one of them losing the other, and highlights Sam’s season long descent into being  _really scary_  at the thought of losing Dean. 

On the flip side of them “completing” each other, it turns each of them into the other’s burden, and so you can have Dean’s dark thoughts being about Sam weighing him down with the responsibility of raising him right and keeping him alive, and Sam feeling pressured and oppressed by being in Dean’s company too long, because they’re complicated humans crammed into a car which must get way too small after a while… 

I dunno, just thinking through how the demon could say that and have it a point of pressure in the narrative while at the same time not actually meaning what Sam wants, just being somewhere painful to poke him. :P

* * *

Oooooooh she says “HE” about who holds the contracts. Because yes, the Lilith thing was thrown in there (and did we ever get confirmation she  _actually_  ever had it?) but Crowley was a strong invisible background presence in season 3 because he also was retconned (?) to be the one who got the Colt from Bela. (It could have come to him after Lilith died of course given there’s the whole stretch of season 4 between this as well - and they could have planned him as a character in season 3 but he got cut for time and then only became interesting to the writers again in season 5 when they needed to cough up the Colt again) so invisibly Crowley is already all up in their business.

I dunno, like, after season 10 I am just fascinated that here we have Crowley holding Dean’s contract and ensuring that he gets funnelled right into Hell where he belongs. Not so different from season 9/10 where Crowley is dragging Dean right back down, but his soul is his own the whole time. Season 3 mk ii strikes again.

> SAM Then who’s your boss? Who holds the contract?
> 
> CROSSROADS DEMON He’s not as cuddly as me, I can tell you that.
> 
> SAM Who is it?
> 
> CROSSROADS DEMON I can’t tell you.

Aah, Sam’s eternal struggle vs Crowley. I swear he carries this antagonism on his shoulders like no one else. Moose n Crowley is actually one of the most fascinating background stories. Doesn’t flare up often, but it’s interesting when it does. :D

I wonder if he ever managed to look past the “aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh” of his Lilith issues to reflect that Crowley was the one with Dean’s deal all along or if he never dared go into that much self-reflection.

* * *

Pfft Sam it’s rude to shoot crossroads demons after talking to them.

*faint spectre of Ruby sitting on his shoulder whispering about collateral damage*

Except this was just cold and he knew it achieved nothing except for maybe making him feel better.

* * *

This is why Crowley doesn’t like you. 


	6. 3x06

In my experience of fandom consciousness this episode is basically remembered for Dean dressing up nice and a namedrop for Castiel. I have to assume the two are related and he wanted to look good for when Cas first glanced their way.

* * *

TBH I think one of the good things about season 3 is that the main plot is in basically every episode, like last one and this one could have been plain MotW but with Ruby and Bela dipping in and out of almost every episode there’s threads running through. Even last episode had the little bit with the crossroads demon - there was action to go with the bro fight at the beginning, not merely a re-iteration of their positions based on the episode like it could have ended. It’s stuff like this which packed in a lot of plot and makes the blow the season took not so bad as it could have been, because main plot is ticking on through the whole season.

That all said, I have literally no memory of what this episode actually does for the season as a whole aside from foreshadow Bela’s deal. :P

* * *

This woman in the cold open is sort of wigging me out as looking like the kid from Bugs/Samandriel.

* * *

Who has a shower with an open mouth when you’re putting soap in your hair? Ugh.

* * *

The ghost summons water in the same way the horrible water aliens in the Doctor Who special Waters of Mars, which is one of the most fantastic/personally terrifying for me episodes of that show, and also makes me really nervous because that was a much scarier water monster than that ghost so I’m just sitting here remembering how that went down. Brrr. 

* * *

(I just went to pre-emptively open up the transcript for when my hearing inevitably fails me and noticed the writer (Laurence Andries) is a total one-off. Perhaps they were scheduled for some of the later episodes in season 3 that didn’t happen? Or perhaps they just wrote this one episode. Huh.)

(I just scrolled down further on Superwiki to actually GET to the transcript and saw something about Kripke slamming it as his least favourite episode of the whole show as of the time of the Writers’ Strike so I guess that may also be why)

(I am now apparently liveblogging me reading Superwiki instead of watching the show. *backs up because I missed the whole bro conversation for more reasons than just being kinda deaf right now*)

* * *

So Dean figured out that Sam went and shot the Crossroads Demon pretty much just because there was a missing bullet (and the fact that Bedtime Stories started with Sam saying they should go shoot her to see if that worked. UNSUBTLE.) I’m guessing Dean cleans the Colt as much as the other guns and he seems to like doing that chore, which means Sam had like maybe a week tops before Dean realised he did it. The more I think about it the more it seems  _really_  reckless of Sam - the fact that one episode closes with him shooting her and the next opens with Dean saying he noticed just underlines how much he didn’t think through/care about Dean finding out.

Funny that Dean is having a go at Sam for wasting a bullet.

And by funny I mean fuck me he’s turned into John for real this time in a way even John didn’t get to do thanks to the pile up of drama at the end of season 1. :P

> DEAN (after a beat)  
> So, what? Does that, does that mean I’m out of my deal?
> 
> SAM  
> Don’t you think I might have mentioned that little fact, Dean? No. Someone else holds the contract.
> 
> DEAN  
> Who?
> 
> SAM  
> She wouldn’t say.

Ahaha Dean, sweetie, you don’t know this yet but the universe hates you (well you know that) but you’re asking about Crowley there. Trust me, you don’t want to know.

I mused on this in my brief walk up to the shop to get sugar between episodes, and I think this is one of those things where it gets blurred over later and it’s super easy to assume Lilith had the deal all along because that’s what Ruby said later, and I’ve only thought I was  _headcanoning_ that Crowley had it. Even the language here one episode later has gender neutral discussion. 

But the crossroads demon seemed pretty clearly to be talking about Crowley, mentioning her boss with male pronouns. Lilith has yet to be introduced and I don’t think she is even mentioned until Jus In Bello? I have a weird feeling Crowley may have been on the cards for season 3, but not until near the end as someone to confront (and possibly kill?) who had the deal, with Lilith as a different sort of obstacle/rival to Sam. The roles got conflated into one, especially since the deal wasn’t going to get broken after the writers’ strike and Dean was hellbound in the narrative instead of waiting to be saved, therefore Lilith holding it wasn’t a threat to her life since she was going to win the season.

I have the bizarre feeling Crowley outlived his own original non-appearance - I don’t ever want to be told any details on this, and I doubt there’s really any info about such a tiny comment anyway… But going off this IRL headcanon in a very meta commentary way, if Crowley in any form was meant to exist - or at least  _a_  male king of the crossroads type character - and most likely would have been killed, especially if Lilith was the power moving on into the apocalypse arc as intended, Crowley is  _introduced_  in season 5 as a character who has already escaped his fate once. 

Just interesting to think about the narratively unkillable Crowley coming back again and again. :P And if the narrative spared him, then it’s actually kinda fitting that he’s that other awkward friend in Team Free Will we don’t talk about who helped them tear up the script at the end of season 5. As with Cas, as with Bobby, intruding on a story none of them were supposed to be in at that point by original design. :P

* * *

Sam n Dean round off their conversation with a pretty stereotypical Sam n Dean conversation about Sam saving Dean because he’s his brother blah blah okay.

* * *

Hey first of many older women who will make Sam violently uncomfortable in the future! You’re busy making me violently uncomfortable right now.

* * *

AU where they’re just carefree smiling brothers who wander around wearing suits in places with yachts probably because they own one.

They go to fancy fund raisers for museums just because they can, wearing those suits, and somehow Castiel’s name gets dropped in conversation. Dean doesn’t think a thing of it, but then one fateful rainy night…

*blinks* Yeah anyway so the actual real show…

* * *

I always like the statistics Sam gives about how many hundreds of ships got wrecked off the coast. It seems accurate. :P 

* * *

Dean, sweetie, breathe. You car is okay. Bela’s just being a meanie.

Bela certainly knows how to put Dean on the back foot immediately (like shooting Sam for emotional leverage last time we saw her :P). She must have enjoyed loitering nearby waiting for him to come back. Her POV of the scene must be hilarious.

* * *

I feel like this episode is an advert but not for bathrooms and showers. They look great but people keep dying. That death was really ridiculous even for normal ridiculous deaths.

I honestly don’t know how I’d react to my bath filling up with seawater, but I’d probably freak out and leg it downstairs to call a plumber, not stick around staring into the briny deeps of my bathtub until something killed me. With extra gross eye horror ew ew ew.

* * *

I am amused by the Bela vs Winchesters interactions in this episode though - “Can I shoot her?” “Not in public” and this bit where they out-rank her as “detectives” to her “reporter” and Dean yells “they’re like ROACHES” over his shoulder in her direction… I dunno. I like how their actual dynamic works just as well in their fake IDs. :P

* * *

OOOOH the ship had an angel figurehead. Guys it’s happening Cas is on his way.

*goes from not tinhatting angels in the first couple of episodes of season 3 to screeching about Cas’s imminent arrival by episode 6*

* * *

> SAM  
> And, he’s going to die, so we have to save him.
> 
> BELA  
> How sweet.
> 
> DEAN  
> You think this is funny?
> 
> BELA  
> He’s cannon fodder. He can’t be saved in time, and you know it.
> 
> DEAN  
> Yeah, well, see, we have souls, so … we’re gonna try.

Probably part of the ongoing need to save each other thing? They can’t allow themselves to see anyone as a lost cause, even though the guy’s seen a death omen - he’s kinda like Dean here with his pending death by hellhound - and Dean equates saving people to having souls - something that is pertinent to him AND Bela as she’s nursing a deal too and so both their souls are in peril (though they don’t know  _exactly_  how much yet until 3x09, not that Dean probably tells her she’ll become a demon ever?) 

(Honestly it pains me how easy it would be to bring Bela back and re-cast her at this point. She’s got to be a demon by now.)

Regarding the show-wide arc, it’s interesting that “saving people, hunting things” has been phased out this season for “kill evil sons of bitches” etc for the opening of every episode, and at the point the “saving people” thing is entirely about saving Dean, allegorically or not. 

Dean’s dark mirror for the season has this to say about their job (after some super terrible back and forth about their respective amount of parental love - awful considering the backstory we find out for Bela, and sad because Dean wuvs hugs):

> DEAN  
> We help people.
> 
> BELA  
> Come on. You do this out of vengeance and obsession. You’re a stone’s throw from being a serial killer.

In season 3 mk ii Dean makes that stone’s throw, but for now Sam’s off on a meatsuit killing rampage (3 so far?) and has much deeper to go on his collateral damage journey just for the season, and it all ties back in to the obsession side of it, while both have had their share of vengeance (Sam moreso again, still the darker brother for now).

* * *

Hahaha they have such an obvious car. Once again they get caught on a stake out.

* * *

Query: if they hadn’t been agitating the guy by sitting outside the house, would the ghost have come to get him like he did? He might have lived longer.

I’m going to venture that red in the wild is not necessarily a bad thing - especially motel rooms and stuff, but red  _light_  is definitely a sign of doom, because of the way it colours everything around it. (So the red light at the bar in 3x04 was the demony influence at work for example). Here we have them fail to save the guy through vaguely poorly written panicking, and then once Sam checks his pulse and they exchange some sad looks about the guy being someone they couldn’t save, we cut directly to Sam in the Impala with a red light beaming in on him. I honestly don’t know where a consistent red light would come from when you’re driving like that (especially as it’s come from behind/to the side in the cases we’ve seen it this season during tense driving moments). But anyway, yeah, this visual transition makes it PRETTY CLEAR that Sam was upset that he couldn’t save the guy and there is DOOMY RED LIGHT haunting him about it.

> DEAN  
> (Shuts off radio) Do you wanna say it or should I?
> 
> SAM  
> What?
> 
> DEAN  
> You can’t save everybody, Sam.
> 
> SAM  
> Yeah, right, so – so what, you feel better now or what?
> 
> DEAN  
> No, not really.
> 
> SAM  
> Me neither.
> 
> DEAN  
> You gotta understa—
> 
> SAM (cuts him off)  
> It’s just lately, I feel like I can’t save anybody.

(Compare: season 3 mk ii: 10x15 with the conversation at the end when Sam failed to save the guy on his branch of the story.)

> DEAN: Don’t blame yourself for Kit, man.
> 
> SAM: I can’t help it, Dean. It feels crappy.
> 
> DEAN: I know it does.
> 
> SAM: I tried. l did. I tried. l just … I couldn’t save this one.
> 
> DEAN: You know, you can do everything right. And even still, sometimes … The guy still dies.

* * *

It’s probably symbolic they go squat in a very fancy but totally run-down house. I think this exterior might have been used other times but my brain is not up for visual connections today. :P (that last connection was  _painfully_  obvious and doesn’t count as my brain actually working). I dunno, something here about class aspirations/immobility between classes? Bela’s going to come to them and get them to go to the museum with her, and they’ll dress up all fancy and leave the fancy house they’re squatting in and go pretend to be classy for a day, but even Bela who has a nice apartment and actual money to roll around in if she wants is actually more of their world than the one she’s infiltrating. She’s just better at acting like she fits in because she has the resources but not the settled, “normal” life.

* * *

Sam’s reading books about shipwrecks. Aww. :D

I have to say, as someone who loves researching completely random historical topics for fun, their sort of research is hugely appealing: they’re just looking for one or two facts to help them identify some practical information, but you KNOW Sam is absorbing everything he runs his eyes over. I think Dean’s probably a more selective reader and saves his memory for pop culture, so it’s much more of a chore to him (no different from just reading through lists of names in a record office) to try and find those facts, but Sam seems the sort to actually get lost in a book and remember quirky facts later which weren’t relevant at the time but suddenly became so. He knows so much weird stuff.

* * *

Okay I know they’re squatting in a boarded up building but there’s a fucking pot plant in the house.

Who has been watering it?

* * *

I love Sam’s Bela expression.

I’m also laughing at the random saucepan, the gothic candles (despite the fact there’s actually electricity in the building) and the goblet.

This is the weirdest house.

* * *

Aah, Sam n Dean are both wearing blue and Bela’s got a glimpse of red under her suit: despite the arguing, the actual case is putting Sam n Dean firmly on the same side, and Bela is the opposition. She’s also more than usually smartly dressed while Dean is in double denim. Yikes. :P

* * *

I wonder how many of the bottles littering the room are theirs and how many were just already there, as per Roadkill where the abandoned house looked like people had been sneaking out and drinking there for years.

* * *

I am amused because there’s like 13 candles lit in this scene, as well as the electric lighting. So it seems whether they brought the candles or not, they definitely wanted some mood lighting. Considering there’s 4 more candles on the table than in the above screenshot it means they actually gathered them together (also: clean new looking ash tray. SOMEONE is smoking still - it’s probably one Dean swiped from a motel)… I just like the idea of them having a trunk full of candles: for spells, seances and lighting up some dank hovel they’re squatting in.

Have a gratuitous screenshot I swear is just about the candles. 

* * *

Oh man, the stupid sexy music when Dean shows up in his suit. THAT is something you don’t get in gifsets and we were robbed of the fact the same music cue wasn’t used when Cas did his little objectifying walk in 8x07. :P

I do like how Bela is just coincidentally in a sexy dress (and looks AMAZING) and all the focus is on Dean (being a dork and not knowing how to look so fine habitually yet :P)… Dean allows himself a little smile as he gets out of line of sight with her for seeing his face (because she is freakin’ hot and he has a chance with her), and she, now his back is turned, has a slightly less aggressive smile to herself as well because she ruffled his feathers and gets to look at Dean in a suit all evening. TBH this is a doomier ship than the one they’re hunting, but I do sort of regret they never got their angry sex. :P

Well, it really doesn’t seem that much like Dean considering how tender he is in all the sex scenes we’ve seen, but at the moment he’s in season 3 mode so who knows - he might have. :P

* * *

Woo more awkwardness with Sam’s date. *winces* *peers from behind fingers until that’s over* It’s a really cruel way to separate him out so that Bela and Dean get some relationship development together.

* * *

I do think it’s funny though they get a whole episode focussed on exploring their dynamic and still hate each other by the end. But for more educated, complicated, angsty reasons. Like, hey, we tried, we still hate each other. 

I think if this episode had gone differently she could have been on board with them but she blows it this early on in the season and then has too much pride to ask them for help later because of this, and they’re even more inclined to dislike her so it’s all just a big depressing hatred/pride spiral.

OH WELL.

Complex fave characters are problematic but fun and still didn’t deserve it. :P

* * *

> BELA  
> Oh, look at you. Searching for a witty rejoinder.
> 
> DEAN  
> Screw you.
> 
> BELA  
> Very Oscar Wilde.

Hehe. He also mockingly imitates her in a “blehblehbleh” voice on the way out the door, which is adorably non-witty. Probably her dress is throwing him off his game or something. It seems really unfair we have another (3rd? 4th? All 6 this season?) episode in a row making fun of Dean’s intelligence: he doesn’t seem to get many opportunities to balance out this perception of him so far this season. Season 1 and 2 had sparkling clever Dean moments but I think the only overt thing we’ve had so far is Dean working with Bobby to take apart and understand the Colt, which Sam was excluded from, and shows a different kind of smarts. 

* * *

Sam’s date is getting drunk… He needs to push her right through the grabby phase and ply her with drinks until she falls asleep.

*more extended wincing as that scene carries on and on and does nothing for the story*

* * *

Aha! Dean cleverly disabling the alarm system. Intelligently. With his brain that knows a lot of things about complicated stuff the average person wouldn’t know how to do.

* * *

I’m still dubious about what this plan entailed since Dean was coming from downstairs and bumped into the security guard but they did the whole ploy to get to the private  _upstairs_  rooms… This is all massively contrived to have random drama. Although I think Bela may have been happy to be left alone in this room for some other nefarious purpose? I honestly don’t remember the various twists and turns of this plot and trying to figure it out when this tired is confusing. :P

* * *

Dean is super grossed out by the hand of glory, which he’s actually holding. He finds something to wrap it in. Because ew.

* * *

Oh, I think Sam  _is_  trying to get Gert drunk to make her stop groping.

It’s not working.

Well he learns useful plot information from it, so I don’t know why he’s complaining after that he hopes he wasn’t groped for nothing - he knows the most useful thing of the episode so far.

… Is Mrs Havisham really that obscure? Granted, I once read Great Expectations overnight in an emergency of forgetting I had a 4 inch thick book to read for a class the next day, so my awareness levels of the book are abnormally high, but I feel she’s one of the more pop culture Dickens characters and Dean would know her by reputation? I know a ton of literary characters by reputation through pop culture, which is both awful because I am a Literature graduate so I should theoretically know these things because I actually read them, but on the other hand, random movies and TV shows explaining things so I don’t have to read them has saved me in a lot of conversations where I was going to look intellectually inferior without being able to fake it in company of proper hardcore literary people. :P

* * *

Aaand Bela sees the ghost ship. Poor Bela. :(

* * *

Okay this screenshot really is gratuitous:

I feel like this episode is much worse to watch in hindsight beyond its upfront awkwardness? Not only are the lines about attention from their fathers going to be a million times worse when we get Bela’s full backstory which is being hinted at here, but Dean says he’d torture her as an angry hyperbole. I hope. Obviously Dean and torture is not yet a thing at all - creepiness of Skin putting his shapeshifted copy in that role aside - but that’s going to be his secondary emotional arc of more than half of season 4 basically.

* * *

> DEAN   
> I can’t believe she got another one over on us!
> 
> SAM (looks up)   
> You.
> 
> DEAN   
> What?
> 
> SAM   
> I…I mean, she got … one over … on you, … not us.
> 
> DEAN (pause)   
> (loudly) Thank you! Sam. Very helpful.

I’m starting to think this writer just doesn’t like either of the main characters. :P 

* * *

> SAM   
> We figured out the spirit’s motive. (He shows BELA a photograph) This is the captain of our ship. The one who hung our ghost boy.
> 
> BELA   
> So?
> 
> SAM   
> So they were brothers. Very Cain and Abel.

*stares directly into the camera*

* * *

> BELA   
> You wouldn’t understand. No one did. Never mind. I’ll just do what I’ve always done, I’ll deal with it myself. 

:(

Actually, if the writer doesn’t seem to like Sam n Dean, they’re pretty sympathetic to Bela despite having Dean call her a load of names for this - that line does actually try to explain her motivations and Lauren is given so much to work with here; she’s showing an amazing range and all this pride and vulnerability at the same time. I’m wondering if the sneaky POV is Bela’s and Sam and Dean are side characters to her emotional arc for this story. :P Not in a hugely obvious way, but it’s a way to read the episode.

* * *

Woo creepy ritual in a cemetery.

Aw the gravestone behind Sam has an angel on it. :D

It’s looking away up to the right or I’d make a joke about it staring at Dean. Oh well. :P

* * *

This is also demonstrating the proper thing to do with all their candles.

* * *

Hehehehe Sam said the thing. 

“The thing” being “the other main character’s name before he shows up”

* * *

*damp angel in the background rolling his eyes at everything* (I mean the statue but you never know)

(The actual conclusion of the episode is really dramatically underwhelming, unless you have a thing for Sam reciting Latin I guess. They dragged out the ghost splash effect for like an extra minute since it was over so quickly :P)

* * *

Did… Dean just grab the money Bela gave Sam? Rude.

They seem to be on better terms when they part but I think that’s on a ‘let’s never see each other again now’ understanding. They’re less than excited to cross paths with her again.

I do find it funny how often she crosses paths with them all of a sudden when they’ve been working all this time. Maybe she only moved to America shortly before season 3? Although Bobby knew who was was quite well and she has a pretty good customer base. Eh. :P 

* * *

Oh, if they actually went to Atlantic City that would probably explain why the 10 grand disappears never to be heard from again.

See, this is why I like season 6. 

… If you don’t know what I’m talking about, don’t worry, it always makes me giggle and I will annoyingly point it out when we get there. :P

* * *

Re: Sam shooting the crossroads demon which is brought up randomly in Quiet Car Contemplation Time:

> DEAN  
> You know, situation was reversed, I guess I’d’ve done the same thing. 

*eye twitch*

Okay it’s a different context but the same phrasing. :P Well, not totally different context: it’s about Sam randomly murdering people in frustration about saving Dean, while the other season 9 comment was specifically about dragging Sam back to life when he didn’t want to, but it boils down to one of them being unwilling to be saved, and the other doing dumb stuff as a consequence, with that collateral damage thrown in. Dean being way too understanding because he’s been there and thinks he gets what Sam’s going through. (Dean caused a bigger moral mess in season 9, but the deaths were out of his control, while Sam just straight up killed some random lady because the demon was annoying him.)

…

Obviously in the actual reversed situation, it’s probably safe to say Dean would do anything to get Sam back although I don’t know if his emotional approach would lend itself to just killing the demon if Sam couldn’t be bargained for. At least not in the cold way Sam did it, since they have such different approaches.

> DEAN  
> Yeah, you’ll keep hunting, y'know, you live your life. You’re stronger than me. You are! (SAM clears his throat) you are… you’ll get over it. But I want you to know I’m sorry, I’m sorry for… putting you through all this, I am. 

That first sentence sounds like what he was saying about Sam in 8x14 when thinking he was the one who would take the Trials on, and saying Sam is stronger is kind of alarming… I think much more a reflection on himself, seeing himself as weak in a way Sam wouldn’t be for doing it in the first place after realising he couldn’t face up to living without Sam (just assuming because Sam left that one time he can probably function without Dean because ha ha ha everyone leaves Dean so they can’t need him all that much - remember Azazel at the end of season 1 taunting Dean with that?). 

He pretty much has to tell himself this or face up to speculating on the idea of how Sam *actually* was when Dean was dead, either for real or in Mystery Spot: he can’t let himself imagine those futures. So Sam yells at him and Dean drives along with a blissful smile thinking about his planned holiday to blow all their money, because he made his decision and nothing is going to change that, so Sam’s just go to learn to cope with it. And everything will be fiiiiiiine.

Dean’s self-deceiving smile is pretty scary and he can’t keep it up long enough to last until the credits roll. Not even trying. :P

*can’t remember what the next episode is*

*assumes we’re due a meltdown*


	7. 3x07

* * *

Okay… Bela and Gordon hanging out. That’s cool. I assume the episode is about Gordon.

Is this the one he dies? Or was he in another episode after this? Is Bela in the rest of this episode? Or was she just around for the cold open modelling this lovely blue jacket?

* * *

Bela makes fun of Gordon for thinking Sam is the anti-Christ (when BELA is a character witness for someone… :P) by referencing the tooth fairy and Easter bunny.

We’ve had tooth fairy confirmation (plus a conjuration of one even earlier in canon - like the unicorn it doesn’t quuuittte count but then Garth happened :P) but so far no pay off for the Easter bunny.

Depending how long you’ve followed me you may not know I’ve spent about as much time agitating for an Easter bunny MotW as I had for a beach episode before one massively outstripped the other in canon support. :P

(Still got another name drop as late as 10x12 which means I’m not giving up my one man crusade.)

* * *

Because I am a terrible person who loves Bela, I sort of overlook that she’s going to tell Gordon where they are (I may not remember this episode but this seems scene has come back to me at least and it makes sense - when in doubt, follow your nose :P) and focus on how she stood up to him, gambling her life for a better profit. Like, she didn’t just cave and tell him, she knew this was a no-win situation because he was  _super_  dangerous and she already figured he was a little unbalanced, so he  _could_  have shot her right then and there for not saying where they were, which would have made her randomly die heroically. She’s totally willing to sell them out but not give them up, if you know what I mean? :P Like, she’s awful, but not in a pathetic or weak way: she’s still making the most of a terrible situation and getting what she can from it. 

I dunno, I likes Bela.

* * *

Gordon just pulls the mojo bag loose from his belt like… was that even attached?

* * *

Off-screen Dean being a total dingus by answering a chirpy “Hey Dean, where are you!?” from Bela. Like that is not the worst idea ever.

Love me that season 3 Dean characterisation… *winces*

* * *

Cut to Sam and Dean wandering around in a warehouse with torches.

Literally every episode.

I am so lost.

Apparently this is called “Fresh Blood”… Vampires?

I like the graffiti back behind Dean. Ghostly figures following him around. :D

Dean looks pretty good today.

Ooh this is the bit where he cuts himself and says he probably tastes pretty good too. 

His face in this bit though. He’s enjoying himself way too much.

* * *

I remember this vampire lady. 

I mean I remember her face I don’t remember what happens to her. They tie her to a chair? Maybe? I assume her head gets chopped off because no one ever mentions her much so she’s probably pretty unexciting.

* * *

He is  _really_  enjoying himself way too much. I mean, this flirting with death thing seems to be giving him a real high. I suppose since he knows he’s already dying and has moved way into the acceptance phase of that, fucking around tempting it earlier isn’t a big deal because as far as he’s concerned he’s already dead.

* * *

Oh hey look she’s tied too a chair. They are in, apparently, an abandoned mattress factory. 

Like, a factory that makes pre-abandoned mattresses, already worn down with the sheets on.

I dunno.

I am super out of it tonight.

* * *

Written by Sera Gamble: then the vampire lady starts acting like she has no idea what happened to her. Weird flashback to Heart where she is like Madison in that at least her first wandering out drinking people spree she seems to have blacked out doing it and gone really primal in her hunger? Vampires don’t tend to work like werewolves in general on this show, and then werewolves stopped being like that TOO but this at least seems to be a trope Sera likes poking at. :P

* * *

Ahahahahahaha she’s called Lucy.

To the endless torment of my brother, he introduced a vampire to our D&D game who’d been freshly turned that we rescued, and he didn’t give us a name right away, and since ¾ of the rest of the group all liked Dracula and I think a couple of us had even read it recently (Hi :P) we just immediately started calling her Lucy. Years later any time when we return to his campaign, if she ever shows up he’s like “blah blah Gertrude…” “Oh, you mean Lucy?” “NO I MEAN GERTRUDE WHICH IS THE NAME I GAVE THIS VAMPIRE”

Ha ha nice try, she’s called Lucy.

Uh anyway, yeah. Nice Dracula parallel here.

Now dead certain our poor Lucy doesn’t make it.

* * *

She says the vampire who turned her was “Old, like 30”… yeah, Dean is nearly 30 now (probably not at his expense) - I think it’s to highlight how young she is. The actress doesn’t look like she’s supposed to be THAT young, but then the way teenagers look on TV compared to real like is like 5+ years difference. :P Maybe she is only just old enough to drink.

* * *

Oh wait I remember this episode! The vampire adds Gordon to his murder harem.

* * *

Guess Gordon doesn’t survive this episode either then?

* * *

Does vampire!Gordon survive this episode and then randomly show up to ruin everything another day?

Naaah. We’re halfway through the season already and there’s still a buttload of notable episodes to go which don’t have Gordon in.

Hmm. Guess that makes sense with the ongoing is Sam evil/not brought back right thing, if he does kill Gordon this episode. Because later (especially after the writers’ strike) they stopped prodding at it in the same way. Made him super scary, but just as Sam, as part of his character development, since teasing that plot idea ended up only being about Sam being Sam since they ran out of room to go actual myth arc places with it.

It’s like, I guess if they had to kill Gordon off, and they’re still edging around just killing him because our main characters can’t straight up kill a human, no matter how problematic they are, they had to turn him into a literal monster… But he’s still motivated by the same drive to kill Sam as he was before, and aside from the monster thing (I think he drinks someone too?) the choice to kill him also comes from a history of him being a pain to them as a human…

Hm. Like for the ongoing “what makes a monster” theme, you have a lot of sympathetic monsters showing otherwise, but then you have peeps like Gordon for whom becoming a literal monster is just a step sideways.

* * *

Anyway they are still talking to poor Lucy.

And I am getting all sorts of random feels about how strong Dean was to not drink anyone while he was a vampire that time in season 6. Mostly just because they’re putting such an emphasis right now on how hard it is to fight off that urge and how horrible the transformation is (I think this is the first real exploration of it? We only saw that one girl get turned back in Dead Man’s Blood, and thanks to not much poking at the lore yet she was pretty much just up and at ‘em the next time we saw her?)

* * *

They decide that because she has killed some people (and they don’t know a cure) that they should just chop her head off and be done with it. Aw poor Lucy. :( Well, Dean says they don’t have a choice (presumably for the above reasons, and because rehabilitating a hungry confused vampire is not something they’re trained for). It’s still pretty bloodthirsty considering last time they saw vampires (in Gordon’s first episode no less) they were sympathetic and restrained themselves from killing. Lucy probably would be amenable to not being seen as a monster and trying to sort herself out from here onwards, but the emphasis in the narrative was on her losing control and becoming a monster in behaviour the moment she was physically turned into one (and even attacked and tried to bite Dean).

But she emotionally is still acting like a scared young woman to the end.

I dunno, it seems brutal. Sam seems to agree at this point and winces when Dean kills her. I’m honestly not sure what to make of it morally - she was definitely a victim, but Dean is in emotional regression (see: 10x08 “all vampires are scum” using them as a litmus test to his behaviour once again, and that’s WITH Benny in his past.) and Sam is just lacking extra compassion this season on his dark downward spiral. I think he’s mostly worried about Dean since there’s already been the point about him worrying about Dean being reckless, and so he’s probably watching Dean’s behaviour here more than anything, worrying about if this is part of his reckless no-care attitude.

(I suppose also it’s a parallel from Dean to Gordon, to bookend their relationship, since they initially bonded over Dean’s bloodlust over the vampire kill, again when he was hurting emotionally.)

* * *

Heh, the PCP thing that vampires were always blamed on in Buffy.

Why ARE Rufus and his Jesusmobile friend whose name I’ve forgotten investigating the vampire case?

Oh. They’re looking for Sam n Dean and just assume that latching onto a vampire case will help.

Sam is distinctively tall even when you’re lying on the floor choking on your own blood apparently. This guy was pretty observant considering the mess he was in when we first saw him. :P

* * *

Sam n Dean walk out of the club with doooomy red lights beaming on them.

Aaand run around a corner into Gordon and friend. Should have listened to the doomy red lights. :P

* * *

HOW is Dean not dead? These guys are terrible shots. TERRIBLE.

They have stormtrooper aiming.

PARKOUR *Dean disappears from sight*

In hindsight for Gordon, stalking Sam n Dean while they’re on a hunt probably should have suggested he be aware of the thing that they were originally hunting. I suppose it’s ironic that he spent a great chunk of his life hunting vampires and when he got distracted vampires immediately get the drop on him.

* * *

Thinking of doomy red light and the red vs blue symbolism…

Wowser.

* * *

Sam explores the abandoned mattress factory they’re camped in (I guess they’re squatting in a motel because actually paying for a motel is off the table for some reason? They really did burn through their money fast. :P Have they had any particular reason to lie low this season or is this just caution from the end of season 2 still? They have stayed in a lot of motels and sat in public spaces at the start of season 3 and then for the last 2 episodes they’ve been squatting.) The walls are a really pukey yellowish green.

* * *

Dean comes into the picture via the mirror, which Sam has his back to. That is probably reeeally symbolic but I am tired, so I’ll just note that they came and went from scenes via the mirrors a LOT in Sin City.

*screencaps for future reference because I need to do basically everything to make my memory work right now*

* * *

What does Dean mean when he says he stopped for a slice? Of what?

* * *

Boo, calling Bela a bitch. At least he was smart enough to work out that it was his mistake from earlier immediately.

I am curious about how the motel room is abandoned because of all the mattresses crammed into it, but the kitchen area is neat and stocked, including with salt and pepper, the black and white symbolism which follows them around a lot.

I am fascinated by how the story is told through condiments, considering how I’ve got obsessed with the ketchup/mustard background story telling this season.

* * *

She’s wearing a nice different jacket - bright red this time. 

Dean threatens to  _actually_  kill her and sounds dead serious, I suppose because with her doing this she caused a threat to Sam. Which means this episode where he already killed the distraught freshly turned Lucy he also just up and threatens to kill Bela - I suppose showing the lines are actually blurring here, but in a bad way where everyone falls into the net: if you’re a monster, the black and white morality is the monster has to die, no matter how sympathetic they sound and if there are troublesome but valid alternatives blah blah. If you’re human but cause them actual threat then he will happily add you to the list of people to kill.

(Not that he does in the end, but it’s interesting he commits to sounding really serious about this - I suppose when you know Hell’s got you, what’s the big deal about killing someone who has wronged you?)

* * *

Huh, the vampire says “I do what I have to.” Back to the season 9 arc words floating around in season 3. He doesn’t mean it so much as making moral compromises so much as practical/emotional ones. I am assuming the fact he has such a clear type means a hunter (I assume Gordon?) probably killed his girlfriend who looked like this? Since vampires mate for life, and so he goes all weird serial killer profile abductions trying to fill the hole or something.

Not just that he wants a harem of pretty blonde girls.

* * *

The vampire does blame Gordon for the vampires in general being wiped out, and then makes a heavy-handed point about hunters (and Gordon in particular) being bloodthirsty in a metaphorical equal/more than situation to vampires and their literal thirst for blood. Kinda the point of 2x03 but I suppose worth repeating to see Gordon out thematically.

* * *

Aah, it was his daughter. (She has a nice old photo!) So I guess the emphasis on family is more important here. Because themes of some sort.

*indescribably tired but assumes family is a theme that is relevant to this show*

* * *

> GORDON  
> Oh, did I hurt your feelings? I’m sorry. I forgot you’re just a misunderstood victim. Even though you murder and spread your filthy disease on pure base instinct. You got less humanity than a sewer rat. 

It is interesting how this vampire has a few shades of grey to him. He is awful and does what Gordon says, but a the same time he’s fleshed out emotionally, mostly to remind us that vampires are more complex than Gordon sees them. Just because this one is awful doesn’t mean they all are, or that they’re not capable of emotion or in some cases (like Lucy at the top of this episode) being the victim much more than this guy is, even while killing.

* * *

Uuuh.

…

Do we just not talk about how Gordon is turned by a very symbolic cut to both arms blood brothers thing…

But like…

In Purgatory Dean does the very symbolic blood brothers thing with Benny, a known vampire, and  _doesn’t_  get turned? I mean yeah he sort of absorbs him after that, but still, it was the exact same thing.

Maybe Dean had to get a bit of vampire in him to get a LOT of vampire in him, but then instead of turning that supported Benny being in his arm somehow I dunno.

I’m sitting here giggling all over again about Benny being inside both Dean n Cas at various points.

* * *

> DEAN  
> First things first.
> 
> SAM  
> Gordon.
> 
> DEAN  
> About that. When we find him, or if he finds us… Well I’m just saying he’s not leaving us a whole lot of options.
> 
> SAM  
> (calmly)  
> Yeah, I know. We’ve got to kill him.
> 
> DEAN  
> Really? Just like that? I thought you would have been like,   
> (mock-whiny voice)  
> “No, we can’t, he’s human, it’s wrong.”
> 
> SAM (shrugs)  
> No, I’m done. I mean, Gordon’s not gonna stop until we’re dead… or till he is.

Hehehe. That little note does not describe how hilarious Dean doing the fake concerned Sam voice is.

I’m guessing this is somewhat relevant to the theme of the episode, re: Dean killing Lucy, threatening Bela, etc. Sam doing his scary “yeah no we have to kill him” without throwing a moral fit confuses Dean - he blatantly leans on Sam to be his conscience.

Perhaps that’s part of the weirdness about season 3 - Sam’s in a bad way too, and so Dean, who is spiralling more than normal - leans on Sam except Sam’s not there to be leant upon, and so Dean does that thing like when you put out your elbow expecting to lean on something and it’s not there and he’s like “whoops!” and spirals some more.

And Dean’s right, they don’t have a lot of options and Gordon’s cornered them, and it’s probably a huge moral relief in the end for Sam AND Dean that Gordon was a vampire and fit more neatly into the box of things they are  _meant_  to be killing… But here they don’t know that, and they’re agreeing they have to kill a (murderous) human in order to protect themselves. Gordon’s not threatening other people that they know of, which, even if he was human still, would give them an edge on the morality even if problems  _shouldn’t_  be solved with violence and they get into a weird scary judge jury and executioner mode from growing up with the idea of killing monsters and that you can make these judgements about a subsection of sentient humanoid things they encounter (that can pass as human in a good light, often. Remember how Gordon’s victims they found were all in the morgue being treated like normal human victims until they found the fangs?)

* * *

I can’t write “judge jury and executioner” without thinking about that Hot Fuzz line and giggling.

On the other hand I’d never use that phrase if the film hadn’t made it stick in my brain like that.

* * *

*talks crap while Bela is actually redeeming herself off in the other corner*

Well, making herself a little more helpful so that Dean doesn’t come shoot her some time. Very self-serving but for Bela it counts as redemption. :P It’s just like her paying them for saving her life the last time we saw her: she wants things to go away, good or bad emotions, with no sense of being beholden to people (because, well, she has a big enough of a debt a it is, living with a deal the whole time :P) and so she will use whatever resources she has to fix the emotional “imbalance”.

* * *

Gordon is surrounded by alternating red or blue light depending on where he’s looking, and the books on the shelf he walks past alternate red and blue.

I’m getting a weird feeling red vs blue is important to this. :P

* * *

I am too tired for colour symbolism but I feel like this is kind of so obvious it at least needs mentioning.

* * *

Euergh the freshly converted vampire eye horror. Looove the eye horror.

…

While I’m hiding in the past to avoid the eye horror on my dash today and getting a fresh helping of eye horror anyway maybe it’s worth drawing a comparison to what the attack dog spell does to eyes and the vampire eyes. Especially Alex’s eyes in season 9 were very clearly like it - it’s probably the same type of contact lenses tbh. Which makes me wonder, since the hardest time to control yourself as a vampire is when you’re newly converted, if the spell does a similar effect to increasing the hunger/violence drawn to the surface in a vampire, without all the messy transformation, and a bit of obedience thrown in with some other part of the spell?

… Though while that might be the case on the random humans who got hit with it, who knows what happens to Cas.

(And thus breaks my entire hellatus so far lack of commentary on Cas over this hiatus - I’ve honestly just been pretending it didn’t happen which isn’t working because I’m still fretting about him anyway. :P)

* * *

Anyway Gordon sees a guy he’s tempted to eat, and goes lurking over to lean against a shop window to compose himself, and is immediately bathed in red light.

So perhaps in the case of this episode all the blue is humanity (it changes - it was angels in Sin City and not so prominent in other places at all - it’s been a very not-blue season since the washed out filters backed off a little, since the prominent colour of seasons 1 & 2 was blue) and red is being a monster/blood lust.

* * *

I really can’t remember if Gordon kills this guy. He’s getting the fangs out.

The guy has a blue car.

Oh, nope, Gordon was a lurking monster in the back seat and then there was red splattered all over the blue car haha ha.

* * *

Ooh this is where Dean does that adorable vampire gesture.

* * *

Poor slightly complex not totally heartless but still murdery asshole vampire is sad. *pats him on the head*

* * *

Because I am now 1000% tired all I can see is him standing in front of the blood-soaked corpses, while Sam n Dean have a blue backlit window or something behind them. Like, a nice ocean blue, not just a regular window. Then when he’s giving his sad speech he wanders around to have a DIFFERENT backlit thing which is a mix of red and blue from different angles. I wish I hadn’t started noticing it, tbh. :P It’s getting kind of distracting.

I blame that epic sunrise/set from earlier which I screencapped entirely for aesthetic value.

* * *

If you enjoy extremely obvious lines, here:

> VAMPIRE  
> I was desperate! You ever felt desperate? (shot of DEAN’s face) I’ve lost everyone I ever loved. I’m staring down eternity alone. (shot of DEAN’s face) Can you think of a worse hell?
> 
> DEAN  
> Well, there’s Hell.
> 
> VAMPIRE  
> I wasn’t thinking. I just … I didn’t care anymore. Do you know it’s like when you just don’t give a damn? It’s like … it’s like being dead already. So just go ahead. (looks down at DEAN’s knife) Do it.

GOSH I WONDER HOW DEAN IS FEELING. HOW? IT IS SUCH A MYSTERY AT THIS EXACT POINT IN TIME. Even the transcript feels it’s important to point out how often we cut to Dean listening to this; the lines were only delivered for his benefit/ours for knowing him, not for doing anything for how sorry or not we are for the vampire.

(At this point I am more relieved than ever it was a blood family parallel not going back to lean on the “mate for life” thing which was originally given the strongest vampire emotional bond.) 

* * *

Heeey cut to the Jesusmobile, which is pleasingly full of golden hues after all the red and blue.

* * *

How did Gordon get in?

Oh good the eye horror is fading a little, I guess now he’s drunk some blood. Maybe it’s like how dehydration can make your eyes red.

They’re sort of staring deep into each other’s eyes. This is such a charged, personal conversation.

Whoops Jesusmobile guy is dead.

Man, this is weirdly erotic. Gordon penetrated him by shoving his hand in his gut, and then Jesusmobile guy flops into his arms, like, moments from brushing mouths, and rests his head on his shoulder, and Gordon almost-but-doesn’t press a kiss into the side of his head when he’s resting there.

I don’t even know.

* * *

I gave up and went to sleep. Switching from sleep deprived to coffee isn’t working yet notes. :P

* * *

The mirror is randomly coming off the motel wall. I don’t know. Filed under probably significant symbolism, given how much they do with mirrors. Probably something about the reflection being off-kilter or something.

* * *

I assume they decapitated that other random vampire, who turned out to not even be worth the time to show dying on screen. :P

* * *

*sips coffee and watches dramatic bro melodrama* They’re shouting but it’s not actually so much of a fight? Like, it’s about their emotions and feelings and crap, and once Sam argues his side Dean can’t really say “yeah well no you’re still wrong” - he actually takes it on board and doesn’t go wandering off to recklessly imperil himself? Did I just witness actual communication between the Winchesters about feelings?

*is totally baffled*

*drinks more coffee*

*idly wonders what baby!Sam’s problem was that he didn’t care for Dean before he was 4 and then suddenly started looking up to him*

Three year old Sam was a dick.

(When we were small we had neighbours move in next to us and they had kids roughly Sam n Dean’s age gap, and the ‘lil one was only just 3 and oh my god did he follow his brother everywhere with the biggest starry eyes being a pain for us world-weary and mature 6 & 7 year olds. GUESS THAT’S A WEECHESTER HEADCANON YOU CAN’T HAVE)

* * *

Was… Dean shaving his arm with the knife out of boredom? Please everyone bear in mind that for the rest of this episode and maybe the next Dean probably has a little patch of bald arm. 

* * *

Welp, Gordon’s just embraced the darkness of being a monster and gone right ahead and started using people as bait. *shocking*

I suppose he feels it’s an inevitability of his condition that now he’s been driven to kill for hunger, he may as well just do all the dickish things he wants. Dean tries telling him he’s still a hunter and appealing to what would hopefully be his old moral codes, but even from their first meeting it was deeply unlikely Gordon actually had any of those.

Interesting though with another point towards Dean seeing hunters as some sort of magical justice force dispensing a certain hard but fair morality: again, the whole hunting things vs saving people thing: the two SHOULD go together but there’s a staggering depth between why people do the job at all and the ideal of the job: all hunters have tragic back stories, and most got into it at  _least_  for the initial revenge, and THEN moved on to saving other people, unless they did a Gordon thing where they fixated on just wiping out monsters, or a John thing where they were only saving people to ease the pain in between the revenge mission. Dean was raised up believing they have a sort of moral crusade to save people because John was saving people with no leads to go on and it didn’t look that complicated, even WITH revenge in the background, and the boy watches so much TV he would easily get a hero ideal.

Just interesting that he thinks that being a hunter inherently gives you the saving people morality, like that is a centre that people can go back to.

Especially interesting since Dean slipped from that in season 9/10 (as evidenced, like Gordon, with killing tons and tons of vampires like other people go for a jog to blow off steam) but this shows it’s his inherent core: if he thinks of it in others, then it’s what he instinctively feels in himself.

*goes a little bit wibbly hoping Dean makes it back to this*

* * *

Gordon turns out the lights and plunges Sam back into season 1 or 2 level darkness. After a season with the filters off and lots of green and gold and bright colours all over the place, Sam must be have sunspots in his eyes to go back to this.

Gordon can see him just fine with his creepy red vision (he IS the red light now!), and I have just realised this must be the episode where that gif of Jared saucily licking the machete must come from, and now all the drama has disappeared.

* * *

Aw Sam arguing that Gordon can still be saved despite how awful he’s been, though BEFORE Sam knows he turned the girl. Sam always wants to give people a chance.

Poor girl. :( So many innocent victims of vampires turning girls this week. :( I guess he picked her as bait because he knew saving damsels in distress was part of the above-mentioned hero complex they’re in: using it as an actual weakness while defying their attempts to bring him back in line to it with various emotional appeals. (Accidentally mimicking the vampire he should have been hunting as well, in his chosen type.) 

> GORDON  
> I got to hand it to you, Sam. You got a lot of people fooled. But see, I know the truth. I know what it’s like. We’re the same now, you and me. I know how it is walking around with something evil inside you. It’s just too bad you won’t do the right thing and kill yourself. I’m gonna … as soon as I’m done with you. Two last good deeds. Killing you, and killing myself. 

Ouchies. 

I’m certain this was still foreshadowing the supernatural descent of Sam, which didn’t happen in exchange for a lesser moral descent followed by VOLUNTARY blood drinking next season: the emphasis being on choice rather than inherent evil for a while, even if Sam’s fears of inherent evil may have pushed him along/if there was something genuinely impure about him because of the demon blood that exacerbated it. 

But this is still great character development for Sam as we got him instead, perhaps more so because he always struggles with choice vs his fears of inherent evil in him. Gordon is showing a worst case scenario paralleling himself to Sam as someone who gives in and listens to the dark voices in his head (like I said: Gordon’s morality was already off whack before he was ever a monster so he’s just taking to it like a fish to water).

Honestly the fact Sam’s core still shines through as inherently good if extremely easily misled or misused despite everything he ever does/goes through is preeeetty impressive, when we’re given examples like this. Sam goes dark a LOT (like how he kills Gordon lol :P) but even his darkest at the end of season 4 he THINKS he’s doing it for the right reasons.

Sam is complicated and scary. :P

* * *

And looks really cute in red light.

* * *

Oops, Gordon thumped him too hard and they went right through the wall back into actual light.

* * *

*Dean gets gnawed on a bit*

*Sam puts the scary up to 1000%*

* * *

According to the sign they’ve got 139 days without a lost time accident.

*squints* Where is Mystery Spot in relation to this? I am paddling around blind in season 3. 

You’d think considering I did two and a half rewatches just last year I’d know what was up.

* * *

They just… leave Gordon there. Nice crime scene, boys.

* * *

*Sam casually littering*

His hands are bandaged from the razor wire. There was blood everywhere when he was sawing Gordon’s head off. How did he  _not_  get infected? Off this episode’s own continuity?

You know what I give up. The Winchesters are both vampires and they just haven’t noticed. Sam since season 3, Dean since season 8. (Well aside from the 2 times he was temporarily a monster in season 6 but he got cured both times so we could be pretty clear he was NOT a monster when he met Benny.)

* * *

Sam is so  _baffled_  about Dean trying to show him how to tune up Baby. Wasn’t Dean actually really touchy about it earlier in the show?

“You barely even let me drive” yeah :P He’s touchy.

*sits around feeling really sad about this scene as they sort of accept Dean’s death and Dean actually starts doing things to help Sam with coping instead of ignoring it but I’m also still peeved about Sam littering.* Oh, he is definitely on a downwards descent into evil right now in the season. :P


	8. 3x08

It’s  _July._

*starts eating a tangerine because basically all other extremely Christmas related foods are unavailable at this time of year*

* * *

*stares blankly at the weirdness of watching a twee little Christmas story happening on screen in summer* I barely watch Christmas TV at  _Christmas_.

(I watched the last Doctor Who special like a month late :P)

*monster shows up to ruin everything which actually makes me feel better*

* * *

Aah novelty title cards.

* * *

Huh, I re-watched 3x09 somewhere after Book of the Damned aired and remember it better than the rest of season 3, and it starts totally the same way: Dean interviewing someone, Sam snoops around and finds something supernatural-related at the house and comes to interrupt Dean making boring conversation with the oblivious home owner. Only next episode shows us more of all the snooping. I suppose this parallel would make more sense to comment on next episode but I saw the title while clicking this one on the DVD menu so my brain decided to instantly replay the whole episode because I am all or nothing re: memory apparently. :P

I’m not sure if this is a point to this comparison: lazy or coincidental plotting? It’s just odd that it doesn’t always happen this way, and then 2 in a row. 

My brain is basically tuned to make endless comparisons between things and not much else. :P

* * *

Also there’s basically nothing to comment on right yet for plot stuff. :P

I like how the scene in the background looks kinda autumny - there are leaves falling and covering the lawn, the sun has that golden autumn hue… *house totally bedecked in Christmas crud*

* * *

*giggles at Sam researching the Krampus because I have done the exact same thing for a story*

I just love how me and Sam Winchester have a weirdly large overlap of internet search history through the years.

* * *

> DEAN: So, was I right? Is it the serial-killing chimney sweep?
> 
> SAM: Yep. It’s, uh, it’s actually Dick Van Dyke.
> 
> DEAN: Who?
> 
> SAM: :Mary Poppins"?
> 
> DEAN: Who’s that?
> 
> SAM: Oh come on— never mind. (Waves his hand)

I guess Dean vs very specific knowledge of pop culture in the field of childhood/Christmas classics is a thing, since he also didn’t know who Clarence was, and showed no secret knowledge of fairy tales from Disney in a subversion of him mocking Sam about that a few episodes ago.

* * *

That is a really green motel room with a nice floral pattern. Sam is sitting on a sofa which looks sort of like [edit: later shots of the room reveal it IS] the one I randomly designated the angel sofa thanks to it being around Gabriel’s introduction, return in 9x18 and Cas’s wings coming back. Fuck knows what it’s doing here. Probably just existing while green as part of their random re-use furniture. The chairs at the table stand out as being the red chairs with gold diamonds I think from 3x02 where the theme first showed up. Considering this is also a demon-less episode I THINK this is just part of the green n red n gold theme of sneakily making everything Christmas coloured. The motel has a spring-like theme, to match the autumn weather they filmed this in for being wildly un-Christmas-y (and it’s summer while I watch, to complete the UTTER lack of seasonal touch), but the colours fit. 

It’s making me feel extremely displaced in time, and it’s nice that some of that is coming from the episode itself, not just the fact I’m still nursing sunburn.

* * *

Oh wait, winter is here too!

No apologies for the face. If he would care to have a good expression while shrugging off his coat I’d cap it. :P

* * *

> SAM: Dean, those weren’t exactly Hallmark memories for me, you know.
> 
> DEAN: What are you talking about? We had some great Christmases.
> 
> SAM: Whose childhood are you talking about?
> 
> DEAN: Oh, come on, Sam.
> 
> SAM: No! Just… no.

*refers you to Dean’s utter lack of knowledge of historic childhood TV/movies/Christmas stuff*

* * *

I was definitely going to say something else but then all the ComicCon nonsense hit my dash and I lost an evening. For like… 4 hours now my second monitor looked like this:

The sensible thing would have been to minimise it after the first hour or so.

I feel I may have just revealed too much of my personality all at once.

* * *

It was probably going to be -

  * a joke about Sam mind-melding with it because powers
  * a joke about Sam being scared of it because of the similarity to his clown issues in season 7
  * possibly a joke that it was Gabriel stalking him or something I don’t know. He was definitely keeping tabs on them pre-Mystery Spot else he wouldn’t have known everything he knew to screw with them
  * a joke about it being the Ghost of Christmas Past thanks to it triggering the first flashback



For all I know I just thought it was hilarious as an image with no context and just wanted to throw the screencap in there, but then after deserting my post for all that time I came back and was forced into intense speculation about Past!Lizzy’s motivations.

*stares into its eyes to try and learn something*

* * *

*is transported to a flashback instead*

They are in the brownest motel ever. Because childhood is bleak and boring and brown.

Sam casually talking about the Samulet and slipping in our first proper retcon/actually stated in canon fact that Bobby knew them most of their lives and was considered “uncle” to them early on:

> DEAN: Yeah, right. Where’d you get the money? Steal it?
> 
> SAM: No. Uncle Bobby gave it to me to give to him. Said it was real special.

Headcanon that Bobby had no idea what it was at all or if it was even magical: it showed up somewhere or other and he just had it in a box of stuff lying around that was definitely not cursed and was safe for lil baby Sam n Dean to poke around in. When the subject of Christmas came up he let Sam pick something from his miscellaneous non-magic junk that looked good to take as a Christmas present.

* * *

Not headcanon but cold hard truth: however the first part went down, ‘lil baby Sam did not think to ask for anything for Dean, seeing as the only thing he had to give him was John’s present instead for all sorts of symbolic reasons, but does lend further evidence to a theory I floated from just last episode:

Baby Sam was kind of a dick to Dean.

:P

* * *

Awww Dean’s FRECKLES.

* * *

I love these kids. They’re not half bad child actors, and they look convincingly like the miniature versions of the characters. And Sam hops the sofa and it’s adorable and… *gathers them up in my arms and squishes*

* * *

Obviously you do not need to headcanon that child Dean was kind of a dick to Sam. So many of their stories come down to lying to each other, so it’s interesting that the first proper dynamic between them as kids (Sam was an actual potato disguised as a child in Something Wicked) is all about Dean enforcing the lie John kept up - telling Sam that John was a salesperson (very unconvincingly) and Sam demanding to know the truth, which Dean deflects (for Sam’s own good so he thinks/has been told by John as part of how to protect him) with being mean. Of course, it’s only when Sam dares to ask a question they clearly never really discussed before about Mary that Dean ACTUALLY gets angry and stomps out.

They managed to locate some snow for the exterior shot there.

* * *

Honestly given how many mid-season episodes have been piled up with snow thanks to Canada’s general existence, it’s pretty bum luck they couldn’t find any the one time it might have mattered. :P

* * *

… Whoops.

> DEAN: You’d think with the 10 bucks it costs to get into this place, Santa could scrounge up a little snow. 

Can’t tell if channelling Dean or have seen this episode too many times.

* * *

Dean enjoys making Sam dig himself into a hole over “we came here to watch” waaaay too much. He’s pushing Sam at it to make him feel awkward in the same way he had fun with the clown chair. Or maybe,

> DEAN: No. No. Uh, but actually my brother here (smacks SAM on the shoulder) … it’s been a lifelong dream of his. 

kind of sounds like when Dean was making out Sam loved collecting dolls in Playthings for his own amusement, which was an instant grab for masculinity by comparison to Sam while over-compensating like crazy after being told people might think he over-compensates. At a wild stab in the dark based on the themes of the episode (especially the flashbacks), maybe he’s feeling that robbed-of-childhood feeling compared to Sam, and… trying to ruin his childhood after the fact? Even though they probably never did this anyway. And it’s Sam who’s uninterested in having a Christmas right now and Dean who wants one. Although he’s got a pretty twisted idea of what a good Christmas looks like compared to Sam (see: Sam’s Heaven where he ran away to a normal Thanksgiving, so there’s probably no way Sam’s ideal idea of a Christmas isn’t cookie cutter too based on everything we ever learn about Sam :P).

* * *

> DEAN: Hey, Sam.
> 
> SAM: Yeah?
> 
> DEAN: Why are you the boy that hates Christmas?
> 
> SAM: Dean …
> 
> DEAN: I mean, I admit it. You know, we had a few bumpy holidays when we were kids.
> 
> SAM: “Bumpy”?
> 
> DEAN: That was then. We’ll do it right this year.

Maybe it’s Sam’s idea of an ideal Christmas working against him where he sees what Christmas is “supposed” to look like and his weird family can never match it. So he has the idea that all their Christmases were awful even though he seems better educated on Christmas in general, complete with likely childhood nostalgia for related media. Dean meanwhile kind of wants a Christmas but on their own awful terms of the sort of Christmas John gave them growing up, BUT that’s where his nostalgia is: for the bad but personal Christmases (like the one he gets at the end of the episode.)

I guess Sam going through an awful Christmas experience of tacky winter wonderland, people being murdered for putting up twee festive cheer, bad Santas everywhere, and so on, actually convince him that the terrible Christmases of their childhood were preferable, and if Dean wants to celebrate one of  _those_  he’s welcome to it. The OTT perfect Christmas house of the jolly sugar plum sweet murdery pagan gods is the final straw to ruin Sam’s idea of a “perfect” Christmas.

“If you want to have Christmas, knock yourself out. Just don’t involve me.” See, there’s Sam fundamentally misunderstanding Christmas as the sugar plum ideal, vs what Dean wants which is just the family side of it.

* * *

 _St Nicotine_.

* * *

*actively relocates to another universe to avoid the embarrassment of their carolling attempt*

* * *

I like how Dean is determined to finish the verse and Sam has to drag him off.

Adding to other shoulder tugs from Sam to get Dean to stop doing something awkward. :P

* * *

Thankfully someone will now be murdered to the tune of a much prettier rendition of the song, the scene complete with a flawless tree and mop-headed child.

I love this bloody, leather-clad Santa that we only see the legs of, with his stringy boots and fleshy sack he stuffs the victims in.

* * *

Hehehe this house has a garden full of angels.

LOOK I’m not trying to say angels were definitely a thing a season before they were officially a thing, BUT this season has been  _ridiculous_  with the angels.

* * *

Dean makes fun of Sam being curious about the wreaths, because it’s gay to care about fancy Christmas decorations, but Sam is instantly vindicated by Bobby proving it was a valid plot point. Just to compare to Dean getting way too into a horrendous Christmas experience with the carolling to Sam getting stick for being way too into the fancy side of Christmas. The warring terrible Christmas with heart vs the fancy but soulless commercial Christmas full of expensive tacky things.

* * *

More Christmassy red and green!

I have at least 3 of those Green Man icons in my house, including one right in my window. :D He’s the symbol of a local pseudo Pagan ritual my town does every year. We don’t have exclusive dibs on him but it does amuse me when he shows up in their research since, once again, me n Sam have a lot of overlap in stuff we’ve googled as I made the Green Man a character in a different story. :P

* * *

> SAM: No, Jesus’s birthday was probably in the fall. It was actually the winter solstice festival that was co-opted by the Church and renamed “Christmas”. But I mean, the Yule log, the tree, even Santa’s red suit – that’s all remnants of pagan worship.
> 
> DEAN: How do you know that? What are you gonna tell me next? Easter bunny’s Jewish?

Because Sam knows ALL THE USELESS INFO. Because you never know when it might suddenly be useful! And then it was.

*screams a bit about Easter Bunny references so close together* Season 3 is a wild ride. :P 

* * *

Sam just sitting there opening and closing random pictures on his laptop for the sake of giving us something visually interesting to look at.

I’m still kinda grumpy they use the Green Man’s picture to describe a winter solstice god when I’m used to him as a May Day figure. :P

* * *

> SAM: (Reading an article on the laptop) Huh… When you sacrifice to Hold Nickar, guess what he gives you in return.
> 
> DEAN: Lap dances, hopefully.
> 
> SAM: Mild weather.
> 
> DEAN: (Looks out the window) Like no snow in the middle of December in the middle of Michigan.
> 
> SAM: For instance.

Bahahahaha I forgot that was a plot point.

Just… totally ignore that Dean may have been assuming magically getting lap dances from hot girls (I dunno like Gabriel’s summoned girls?) but the implication of his words sounds like he’s hoping for a lap dance specifically from the god himself. Especially since they’ve been talking about meadowsweet to summon the god himself.

* * *

It was  _yummy_.

* * *

If the memories continue being Sam’s, then Dean is the Ghost of Christmas Present.

> DEAN: Why are you so against it? I mean, were your childhood memories that traumatic?
> 
> SAM: No, that has nothing to do with it.
> 
> DEAN: Then what?
> 
> SAM: I-I mean, I-I just… I don’t get it. You haven’t talked about Christmas in years.
> 
> DEAN: Well, yeah. This is my last year.

While they go on to talk about celebrating it in the future, the conversation is really about why they can’t do it in the here and now, i.e. the future is Christmas-blocking their present. All 3 time periods are discussed, but it’s the present that is under the microscope, and sure enough, it triggers the next memory…

* * *

Ugh, their motel is so Spartan and brown and cheap and horrible. They just have the most deprived childhood. :( 

*crying forever about the dinner Dean brings home for Sam*

_How did Sam grow up so tall and healthy?_

* * *

“He’s going to kick your ass for reading that!”

Uh… Do we just ignore this line when talking about John’s parenting?

* * *

“Are monsters real?” lil Sam asks after having read about it in the journal belonging to their dad, infallible human being.

“What? You’re crazy,” says lil Dean, referring to the contents of said infallible human (coolest dad in the world, superhero etc)’s own journal written in his own hand.

Hm. :P I’m getting the  _feeling_  Sam isn’t going to believe that… :P

I’m not saying there’s a parallel to how people read a certain text a certain way and arrive at a very clear idea and are then told they’re delusional to read it that way. I am just amused at how the show’s themes (this isn’t even the first time I’ve gone over this idea - Folsom Prison Blues had an aside with Victor doing the same to the lawyer who figured out the same thing about what Sam n Dean do) relate to the show’s fandom.

* * *

> SAM: I read in Dad’s book that they got Mom.
> 
> DEAN: (Exhales) It’s complicated, Sam.
> 
> SAM: If they got Mom, they can get Dad ,and if they get Dad, they can get us.

Basically the plot of seasons 1-3, sorry lil Sam.

* * *

Where did they  _find_  these kids?

* * *

 _Oh Fudge_!

* * *

Hehehe, the gods says how lovely the meadowsweet smells. I suppose that’s meant to clue you in that it’s them, if the  _overwhelmingly_  sweet cutesy Christmas attitude didn’t already set off your alarm bells.

This level of obscenely ideal domestic Christmas is a  _baaad_  thing.

> MR. CARRIGAN: Oh, the wreaths are fine. Fine wreaths. Oh, care for some peanut brittle? (He offers them peanut brittle)
> 
> DEAN reaches out to take some, but SAM slaps DEAN’s arm away.
> 
> SAM: We’re okay.

For season 3 mk ii: a tiny thing, but the cake thing from whatever episode that was. :P

<http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/114118102448/martyrdeans-some-things-never-change-03-08>

Found it.

I always think it’s funny how the peanut brittle box has a kind of coffin shape.

The wreaths are fine.  _Fine_  wreaths.

* * *

Giggling about Dean flicking wood chips everywhere but the bin. Jensen actually being allowed to whittle stakes on screen = one hell of a mess for the set people to clean up, because he is terrible at it. :P

* * *

I love that gingerbread house. 

I know all their food probably has people in it, but this house looks delicious and probably smells delic —

*gets to the basement full of human bones stripped clean*

Never mind. :P

Is anyone keeping a tally of how many times Sam is knocked out?

* * *

This episode is so tranquil with the soothing Christmas music in the background and the lingering shots of nice Christmas things… 

*is somehow extremely not soothed*

I am so amused by how the pagan gods talk and move. And their naff Christmas sweaters. 

Sam and Dean in washed out grey really stand out in the super colourful over-saturated kitchen. :P

*blinks* Of course, Sam’s wearing the red and grey shirt that survives through season 10, and, in fact, he was wearing in 10x14, which was what he was wearing under the naff Christmas sweaters in the gag reel stuff.

 _CONSPIRACY_.

You can’t escape season 3 mk ii even in the goofy stuff.

* * *

Alrighty-roo! These are officially the most traumatising bad guys they will ever fight.

* * *

“You fudgin’ touch me again I’ll fudgin’ kill ya!”

*ignores the horrible stuff happening to Sam in the corner of my eye while I type*

“Sweet Peter on a popsicle stick, I forgot the tooth!”

*winces and looks away even more even though I know Dean does not get a tooth yanked out here*

* * *

Very clever to use the drawer like that to bar the door. :D Clever!Dean stuff. Sorely lacking this season, so obnoxiously pointed out by this blogger who is thirsty for it.

* * *

Sam and Dean casually destroying Christmas by ruining the tree.

I was like 90% joking about the Christmas Carol thing when I was first staring into the reindeer’s eyes for 4 hours last night, but hey, the Carrigans as Ghost of Christmas Future: representing a REVOLTINGLY OTT domestic Christmas. It’s the ideal Sam would love - his idea of a perfect future Christmas would have looked like a Christmas card in the same way their house did, but instead he and Dean trash it, and kill them, and only then does Sam say “Merry Christmas” to Dean (i.e. finally embracing the idea of their Christmas in the here and now), and leading us to the last flashback where we see Dean trying to make the most of their present just like he is now.

It’s a Christmas miracle - Scrooge!Sam is converted to enjoying festive cheer! :D

(I like the different way the past/present/future thing is represented - the terrible Christmas wonderland has a visual lead into the past, and represents the scummy past they grew up in and “their sort” of Christmas, as they were raised to enjoy. Dean representing Christmas present, like in the story, represents the really nice surrounded by family ideal but with like one brother instead of the vision Scrooge had of everyone living it up without him - for Sam just having Dean is that family ideal, as it leads into the flashback to Sam first realising how his entire family could die via monsters to accompany him looking down the eventuality that soon the entire family  _will_  be dead via monsters… But he’s still rejecting Christmas and therefore is isolated looking in on Dean’s need to celebrate it - with HIS only remaining family. Then of course the parallel I just outlined with him killing off his twee ideal future to embrace how things actually are.)

* * *

Aww no tiny Dean don’t lie to Sam. :( You’re only setting him up for disappointment. 

… Aaand your house of lies comes crashing down. I can’t imagine a fictional character less likely to give their son Sapphire Barbie than John Winchester. :P

* * *

> DEAN: No. No, that’s for Dad.
> 
> SAM: Dad lied to me. I want you to have it.

Technically we’ve seen a whole lot of John lying through Dean and Dean coming up with more lies to support John’s lies and lies Dean makes up about John to make him look better… We haven’t actually got any proof John himself lied directly to Sam. Which is think is really sharp of Sam if he is completely excusing the  _endless_  lies Dean threw his way through these flashbacks. 

The river ends at the source. :P

( _Not_  filing that under season 3 mk ii I’m just being cute. Shh. :P)

* * *

Uuuugh and the cut from lil Dean putting it on and then lil Sam’s sad face transitioning to current Sam’s hopeful/anxious face and then Dean walking in the door wearing the Samulet as usual like it’s no big deal… *makes grumpy noises about being emotionally compromised by the Winchesters against my better judgement* It’s just a really emotionally compelling story, okay? Shut up. *dabs at eyes*

I could try being all grumpy about Dean filling the role of both parents for Sam in the absence of either of them, or something else full of bile for John Winchester but I am just feeling  _so Christmassy_.

**_IT IS JULY._ **

Bah.

* * *

“What made you change your mind?”

“Literally I just went through A Christmas Carol. Oh wait, you don’t get Dickens references. Also this is really weird. I’m just going to… not answer. And give you alcohol poisoning with this very strong on a metatextual level eggnog.” *Sam changes the subject*

*Jared attempts to make Jensen choke while filming*

*Jared giggling to himself*

Yep this scene has been ruined by knowing behind the scenes stuff. Oh well. :P *still feeling festive*

* * *

> SAM: Dean…. Where’d you get all this stuff?
> 
> DEAN: (sighs) Nice house up the block.

vs

> SAM: (smiling, takes the gifts) Where’d you get these?
> 
> DEAN: Someplace special. (SAM looks at him) The gas mart down the street (SAM laughs)

* * *

*quietly sobbing about how depressing the presents they get each other are*

But I mean it’s also sweet because Christmas is family and stuff and it’s all intensely personal and cheap and EMOTIONALLY rewarding.

Sam manages not to ruin the moment while crying to himself about Dean dying because “family and stuff” has like less than half a season to live. This episode is SO FUN. SOOO FUN.

*stabs self with a candy cane*

* * *

That last shot is so beautiful. And they found snow!


	9. 3x09

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This comes from 2 separate posts from months apart.

*starts watching because woozy and tired and nothing better to do which doesn’t involve brain functions I never booted up today* < that description should serve as the correct amount of disclaimer before the read more. :P

I literally do not recognise wee baby Dean’s voice any more.

The opening THEN is a very effective “Don’t trust Ruby” “Sam is going dark” montage but if I remember correctly this episode worked really hard to be like “lol you can trust Ruby.”

- “She told me that she could help you.” > “She knows what your weakness is!”

Probably not relevant.

- “You think something’s wrong with my brother?” (Oh yeah they teased dark!Sam all of that season, didn’t they? like basically everyone up to and including Dean worried it was a thing? I spent a lot of season 3 concerned for Sam right up until the last episode and then it was suddenly all concern for Dean like I didn’t think it would really happen. :P)

Ruby talking about Sam’s ‘gentle nature’ to a clip of him beheading Gordon hahaha. I know she was winding him up but Sam is scary.

- “I’ll be there with you. That little fallen angel on your shoulder.” 

(Ehehe. I’m just thinking about my meta about the Carver Edlund books paralleling Sam/Ruby Dean/Cas way more than they should have done. I know I joke about being able to turn everything Destiel even pre-Cas stuff, but has anyone trawled backwards through Sam/Ruby to round off the parallel?)

(Also Sam’s season 3 hair flicks amiright?)

* * *

Me: “Huh these random people who are probably about to die sure are familiar. What - OH GOD THE TEETH THING.” *remembers the emotional trauma of first watching this episode extremely well* 

*refuses to look at the screen until wee baby Sam and Dean are back*

* * *

Sam calls it “old world” black magic which is interesting given that, okay, Rowena is cast for the actual long-existing backstory for Crowley which also probably did not take this into account (but tangentially that storyline is the only time the show’s ever taken Sam and Dean out of America :P), but we also had the Hansel & Gretel witch and the Grand Coven whispers are the first really actual global thing on the show in that though the action will obviously end up focussed there, they’ve got threads leading out of America and there’s a sense of these witches coming over for plot reasons but their ties being back to their own lands (e.g. Rowena using fairy magic & speaking Gaelic in a spell are Old World ties). 

The H&G witch was also a very recent immigrant specifically FOR this plotline. The MoL had hints of a wider framework and I guess it seems they’re honouring this idea that witchcraft, well, was pretty mainstream worldwide for all of human history. “Old world” crops up a lot on this show to explain them cramming in random monsters from the wrong places (a lot of the lesser known pagan gods) but they’re usually given generic move to America motivation like going over there is the pinnacle of ambition (a common theme but like I’m first generation British on my mum’s side who was once American so I’m pretty exempt from the glamour of wanting to move to the New World since that’s my family story in reverse. :P) so it’s interesting to muse on that not actually being the case for once.

* * *

- “So we’re looking for some craggy old Blair Bitch in the woods?”  
- “No, could be anyone […] that’s the problem, Dean, they’re human, like everyone else.”

Well that’s not excessively the theme of season 10. Remember how 10x09 literally only had 2 remotely supernatural things in it and they were Dean and Cas? Even Dean’s anecdote about John featured humans being monsters. That wasn’t a witch episode, but obviously they’re symbolic of this very thing and the whole season has humans being the monsters, and that’s why witch!Sam is such solid speculation for him going dark but by his own rules and not under any supernatural influence per say, and has been valid all season. And obviously season 10 has been mostly about Dean’s inner struggle with himself with the Mark only forcing aspects of his own self out into the air. The whole Cain thing despite the Lucifer interference, is a very human story (creating murder - a very human problem. There’s a line drawn between killing things because hunters do that and murdering people.)

* * *

I swear Sam’s voice is still cracking pubescently in season 3.

I am way cooler with the maggots than the tooth thing.

Oh I think these witches are speaking something like Gaelic or something instead of Latin as well.

Looks like it in her spellbook.

Ehehe Dean being startled by a dead rabbit. *7 seasons at least of foreshadowing Easter Bunny monster of the week*

* * *

It’s little things like Sam always being the one to grab the hexbag and burn it or bend over and examine the writing of the spell stuff which consistently visually links him to witch stuff and magic. Like obviously he and Dean would both be able to tell you a group of witches is a coven but Sam’s the one who just casually brings it up first. It’s all about linking him with it - Dean hates witches and so he’s disassociated from them and freaked/grossed out all the time and Sam’s got his kinda scary calm interest working at the scene. Dean being a dork about the whole thing is basically just to create an opposite to Sam so what might pass as normal behaviour in another episode creates a sort of burden of being the one calmly dealing with witches in this particular episode.

* * *

*Dean gets sad about the dead rabbit and his voice cracks* Dean, baby. You were a mess in season 3. I mean you’re always a mess but this was a tough year for you. 

* * *

The witches talking together is really creepy because they’re doing that thing where they talk in soft reassuring voices to the member of the coven having doubts like, you can see how they try to bring people back in line with threatening ‘kindness’. They remind her all the good things magic has done for her ignoring the massive piles of murder around the edges of their little book club. Or well bringing it up but pushing it to the side and making it not their fault at all. I’m already thinking about the way Rowena’s magic kills people (even when it doesn’t have to) but she brushes it off like it’s not her problem. She even used this horrible side-effect  _against_  Dean last episode, making him pick between killing her and saving people. I am DEEPLY CURIOUS to know how Rowena shrugs off her magic’s collateral damage in front of Sam… Or if he asks at all.

The witches talking about their bookclub use the good rewards of magic for themselves as emotional blackmail against the doubter - and we’re back to that line from the “THEN” which I said totally wasn’t relevant to Sam now either. :P

* * *

DEAN  
If they killed the nut-job, should we uh, thank them or what?

SAM  
They’re working black magic too, Dean. They need to be stopped.

DEAN  
‘Stopped’ like stopped?

SAM gives him a look that says ‘of course’.

DEAN  
They’re human, Sam.

SAM  
They’re murderers.

DEAN looks at SAM for a second with surprise and then shrugs in agreement.

* * *

Endless amusement at their early seasons fear about demons. Ruby telling them there’s  _one_  demon in town is enough to spook them.

I mean yeah the average demon these days seems way more rubbish than the normally quite important demons they crossed before there were hundreds of them everywhere, but it’s still amusing.

Gaaah their motel room has prison bars in it like why is this even a motel. This motel literally exists to remind Dean of the lurking doom of hell and being a prisoner to his fate and the walls are kind of flesh coloured and the heavy plastering effect looks like cracked skin. I hate this motel room. I am too feverish to look directly at the screen in this scene. I actually feel physically ill because of it.

Dean yells at Sam for not conforming to his mental image of who Sam was supposed to be, emphasising how he’s supposed to be this moral beacon who cares about the sanctity of life and Sam is like lol no. “You’re mad because I’m starting to agree with you?” Sam turning into Dean? Roles switching? It’s something people talk about this season too.

Oh right Sam literally says he has to change into Dean. OKAY.

* * *

You’re the short bus… short bus. *shakes head* Dean getting saved by witchcraft against his will. It tastes like ass. And of course Ruby is only looking out for them because keeping Sam on her side is part of a bigger plan. It’s kind of common for Winchesters to fall for people saving one or both of them as a sign of being good or on their side. Like the little green men in Toy Story. “You have saved our lives. We are eternally grateful!” Of course Mr Potato Head was not trying to raise Satan as far as we know.

Also then there’s the witches not knowing what they were getting into because the demon didn’t warn them, but she’s just like “lol what did you think was happening when you did all this demonic magic?” … very reminiscent of Ruby to Sam in the last moments of season 4 tbh. Can we  _really_  see Sam make an uninformed mistake given his history? I’m still assuming this ties into the previous point that it will take a serious demonstration to win his trust. Rowena has demonstrated a lot of attempts to manipulate so far, and she doesn’t know Sam’s history so she’s going to have to be even more canny than we’ve seen her so far not to mess up this one. It’s quite possible Sam only uses her to learn from and will try and detach himself from any arrangement they make pre-emptively… Sam CAN be pretty ruthless at times. Heh. Ruthless. NOT LIKE NO ONE HAS DONE THAT JOKE BEFORE ALREADY.

* * *

There’s a lot about trust and lies in here. Ruby pretends to double cross the Winchesters but, you know, long term goals she was going to anyway but only pretends to here for the short term trust. Dean mouthing that ‘told you so’ to Sam is still kinda tragic for season 4. Like seriously just because this one demon is acting more evil than Ruby at the present moment and Ruby has a personal vendetta against her which means that in this fight she can genuinely stand against her and “throw in her lot” with the Winchesters does not reflect the long term goals, guys. *glares at my poor double-crossed babies*

Rowena’s feeling pretty sorely used by Crowley right now (and Sam at least is still neutral to ready to stab Crowley as soon as he’s not useful any more, since Crowley gave up trying to emotionally bond with him early season 9 once he got a better handle on emotions and realised Dean was a much easier target - SOMEONE did their homework.) so her playing up that aspect could be a way to worm her way in as a friend to Sam. It also depends on the ongoing communication issues - Sam will presumably now never share his side of 10x17 unless under dramatic duress - likewise Dean may end up never finding a way to conveniently drop that he knows the family connection between Rowena and Crowley now.

Although that said him trying to cover up the Zeke thing was one of the most painfully awkward things ever. Like there is a 90% chance Sam mentions Rowena doing something shitty and Dean instantly repeats the “it runs in the family” joke to a more appreciative audience. And then what, Dean? Huh? HUH??

*faint sound of Dean grumbling about me being the short bus in the background*

* * *

Eurgh the conversation about demons all being human once. I saw Dream a Little Dream of Me was the next episode (season 3 DVDs helpfully include the titles - once SPN started routinely doing Fall Out Boy inspired length titles they kind of stopped displaying the title next to the episode number :P) and that’s where we meet demon!Dean for the first time (and urgh but if he wasn’t brilliantly in tune to the actual demon!Dean we got) but of course this episode was the one that introduced all that and for the first time gave us the sense that Dean wasn’t just in danger of dying but his soul was on the line. At least once in 4x01 he looks in a mirror with the same checking for demon eyes as he does these days (and in 10x17 was finally “rewarded” for his constant checking). I guess in that respect season 3 was working in reverse - building up the threat of it and then sending him off to Hell for, as far as we knew, to be demonised if we ever saw him again, whereas season 10 is working backwards from what I guess you could say was inevitable from this episode onwards?

(Well I mean given the excessive length of the show, obviously it was not inevitable back in season 3 :P)

\- “That’s what Hell is, Dean. Forgetting what you are.” That seems pretty ominous considering the Oddly Specific Reply Jensen gave about Dean as a meatsuit that can’t die.

- “There’s no way of saving me from the pit, is there?” “No.” But Ruby will keep on working with Sam - not just before but also when Dean IS in Hell like there’s a hope of somehow getting him out as, I guess, a distraction until Dean broke the first seal and set things rolling for her. If season 3 Ruby can be paralleled to Rowena then this is ALSO kind of ominous given that Rowena could very easily give Sam a false sense of being able to save Dean. I definitely read some meta describing her reaction to hearing that it was the Mark that Dean had where she seemed a little less sure about it privately than she did acting confident upfront. She already conveyed to Dean via Crowley that there’s some hope and presumably will continue spreading the word to Sam that she can be of specific use. She didn’t seem to instantly know the answer, merely if she DOES think it can be removed, is because she has confidence in witchcraft trumping everything (at least… once she gets into that Bunker…?) and comparisons have already been made to her using fairy magic and the leprechaun in season 6 laughing at Lucifer’s Cage. But then again that could all just be over-confidence or a ruse to get at what she wants, and telling Sam that giving her it is a WAY to get to the cure means no need for a payment upfront.

- “Why did you tell Sam that there was?” “So he’d talk to me.”

Hm.

And then Ruby tells him she’s helping because of being different because she remembers what it’s like to be human and we’re back to the whole “human things” theme of season 10. Heh. By most accounts from behind the scenes Ruby wasn’t planned to be evil from the get-go and at the very least they just consistently wrote her leaving the door open even if there was a sense of “sudden yet inevitable betrayal” about the whole thing at the end. At this point though she literally tries to humanise herself by telling Dean this about demons and saying that if you remember who you were you can be more human - demon!Dean was kinda stuck on his past, and again with the ominous phrasing Jensen used to talk about Dean being an immortal meatsuit.

That’s literally the end of the episode btw - she does that thing people do to annoy Dean by disappearing when they decide the conversation is over and he just stands there looking sad until the credits. Pfft.

I should probably re-watch season 3 all the way because I am now even more fascinated on its recycling than I was before just remembering back to general themes and plot points. There’s probably a load more to talk about if you go episode by episode and obviously this was focussing on Rowena and spoilers and speculation attached to her in upcoming episodes…

Maybe when the season is over I’ll go back and do a better reading of both, I dunno. :P

 

* * *

 

 

[Good news, everyone! I have already watched this episode in recent memory and was bored enough to deliriously document my journey through it.](http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/116329025928/so-its-like-2am-i-might-be-a-little-bit-like)

I’m going to scoot through this really quickly just because I’d feel weird to skip it and miss out on story arc stuff from season 3 I wasn’t considering when watching it entirely through the lens of the Sam and Ruby/ Sam and Rowena season 10 parallels. :P

* * *

If there is one thing that gets me worse than eye horror it’s teeth horror.

*refuses to look at the screen completely* Very easy to scoot through. :P

* * *

There haven’t been witches yet, right? I’m suddenly blurry on it. Oh no wait I remember looking it up when I watched this a few months ago. This is the first time we see any of this.

So Sam just instantly knows what a hexbag is the moment he sees one… There weren’t any in like, random demon episodes?

I suppose there was the one Gordon had a couple of episodes ago for protection.

Sneakily introduced lore! \o/

* * *

Dean says he hates witches pretty much out of nowhere, suggesting he’s seen witches before, and Sam helpfully gives us the complete rundown on how witches are normal humans blah blah just pretend you’ve known all this lore all along. 

This is probably why I am consistently confused about where witches came from because this episode doesn’t make it easy if you’ve been up and down the show 100 times to realise they’re being introduced from scratch. 

Which is great! Good info dump! 

(*whispers begrudgingly* too good.)

* * *

I like how the witch was carefully cooking the chicken at the right temperature to incubate a ton of maggots. Like, she clearly could not have cooked anything for a few days in order to grow it that gross. That’s dedication.

* * *

This guy probably got salmonella if the bugs didn’t kill him outright.

* * *

Heh, another instance of the car radio being the soundtrack and then being used to make fun of the guy. 

Pls don’t eat it.

Oh god, this episode is gross.

Nope, those are not pickles.

* * *

Did Sam n Dean just stalk this guy for the whole evening until something happened? How did they know to do that? Does this ever get explained?

* * *

Is this witch doing her spells in her nightgown? She’s got the same undergarments as cold open lady, nearly. I wonder if she knows. She probably did if she found time to snoop around all her stuff to find something to make the hex bag.

* * *

I find it funny that Dean jumping out of his skin and getting upset at the rabbit shook me as much as seeing season 3 Sam from a standing start of being immersed in season 10 when I re-watched, and now Dean flipping out about the rabbit (HEY more Easter Bunny stuff, as I said my other re-watch notes, without realising it’s been name-dropped twice already this season, making the season 3 mk ii namedrop stand out that much more - alike in crack as in angst) is still funny, but I’ve been seeing him irrational and weird all season so far since his deal was made, so the thought of it genuinely scaring and upsetting him is part of a wider narrative of Dean being low-key terrified all season.

S’funny, if this happened in season 4 we’d say it was his memories of Hell making his wig out, so perhaps it’s pre-Hell fear: if he’s had to do much research about demons (haha) he’d start to have at least a vague idea of Hell from the accounts humans can make, so he’d have got to have started contemplating it and so something like this is genuinely a moment of empathy from him to the rabbit.

And of course in a handful of episodes it will be Dean strung up on hooks. :P

Also it had its teeth pulled out and Dean nearly had HIS tooth pulled last episode. Toooo much teeth horror.

* * *

“I know what you ladies get up to when I’m gone,” the guy says of two ladies he’s leaving alone. It sounds super suggestive until he clarifies he thinks they’re gossiping and a 3rd friend shows up.

I mean they could still all make out the three of them but I think you’re not meant to think about this too much.

* * *

The witches are wearing red, blue and purple. The purple one is the one who’s a little nicer than the others, and says that she wants to stop. She’s caught between her two “friends”. 

They’re terrible friends btw.

* * *

A lot of Edlund episodes really don’t have much to do with the main plot for a large chunk of the episode. I mean this turns out to be about demons and Ruby gets involved, but I’m nearly halfway through and there’s mostly been gross out stuff and witchcraft.

* * *

When the other witches come along they block her out by standing either side of them, literally getting her caught in the middle.

* * *

> DEAN  
> If they killed the nut-job, should we uh, thank them or what?
> 
> SAM  
> They’re working black magic too, Dean. They need to be stopped.
> 
> DEAN  
> ‘Stopped’ like stopped?
> 
> SAM gives him a look that says 'of course’.
> 
> DEAN  
> They’re human, Sam.
> 
> SAM  
> They’re murderers.
> 
> DEAN looks at SAM for a second with surprise and then shrugs in agreement.
> 
> DEAN  
> Burn witch, burn.

I raised my eyebrows at this on the last re-watch though I didn’t know the storytelling going on around this, but it’s interesting to contextualise it in the season so far, especially with the fact they’ve both been ruthless about killing - they agreed to kill Gordon when they thought he was still human and before they knew everything he did as a vampire, as well as killing the innocent victim vampire, Dean saying he’d kill Bela for selling them out, Sam killing the crossroads demon in cold blood, and Casey and the priest who were possessed, then agreed to Ruby that collateral damage was a thing he was willing to risk to save Dean…

Oh and hey, who’s showing up like right now? :P

*gosh it’s Ruby*

But yeah, they’re getting much less moral about killing this season so this stands as another example and this time they’re pretty accepting of what they have to do. Dean is still a little surprised when Sam floats the bloodthirsty opinion first, since Dean has a hard time seeing past his life-long perception of Sam as the sweet little brother, even when that’s probably never truly been the case (well he was SO SWEET in the last episode aaaurgh :P). But Dean goes along with it - I said in the Gordon episode how Dean probably checks his own reaction how much he’s willing to kill against Sam a little bit, to see what the morality of the situation needs to be. With Sam in a ruthless season 3 dark descent slide, and Dean way off kilter, then no wonder this is the season their morals start to become recognisable for later in the show.

* * *

Honestly the fact Ruby makes Baby rattle to a stop means she, like Bela, fucked with the car. No wonder Dean immediately points the Colt at her. :P

I suppose also because he has never met her, massively distrusts her, and assumes she’s going to manipulate Sam to some dark end, per Dean’s ominous warnings to Sam when the subject first came up. :P

* * *

But Sam is way more interested in the new lore Ruby has about witches taking their power from demons. Specifically, of course, demons they let out so this is all part of the ongoing need to clean up their mess from the Hellgate.

Which, I still think isn’t their mess (not when I’ve seen how they can be WAY more responsible for unleashing stuff :P).

* * *

> RUBY  
> I’m sorry, why are you even a part of this conversation?!
> 
> DEAN  
> Oh, I don’t know maybe because he’s my brother, you black eyed skank!
> 
> RUBY  
> Oh, right, right. You care about your brother so much. That’s why you’re checking out in a few months, leaving him all alone?

*winces at Dean calling her a bitch and skank* Ruby calls witches whores, which isn’t much better, even if it’s a little more complex because we also find out she  _was_  a witch in life.

I don’t think Ruby ever said she did a deal in particular? She just worked with a demon, learned from her, and ended up going to Hell as a result of all her good work as a witch in life?

ANYWAY once again Ruby demonstrates exactly how to get under Dean’s skin. I know they got heated so MAYBE she messed up and made him shoot at her, but I can’t help wondering if she’s fostering Brother Angst between them for the sake of isolating Sam or - as with when he wrestles Dean to stop him shooting Ruby - to get Sam to come down firmly on her side. It was a gamble to get his loyalty but they don’t seem to have talked for 5 episodes, and she hasn’t asked much of him yet - right now she’s actually only trying to get them out of town because they’re in over their heads.

* * *

Dean immediately accuses Ruby of stringing Sam along when they get to the motel - Sam doesn’t see himself as being strung along, Dean didn’t see himself being strung along by Casey and unfortunately Sam  _is_  being strung along, and Dean wasn’t because he and Casey accidentally made themselves equals and they had no leverage on each other, bonded naturally, and could have parted as frenemies with the hope they’d never cross paths again and nothing more because she wanted nothing from him. :P Sam seems to bring her up to justify Ruby as in “look you bonded with one so why can’t I just hear her out?” But of course Sin City made a point of the differences between Casey and Ruby: Casey was protective of her meatsuit, Ruby let Bobby shoot hers. Blah blah, Ruby actually is stringing Sam along with this promise she knows is helpless. It’s possible just the fact she as a demon suggested they could break the deal was what pushed Sam to seek out the Crossroads Demon, and definitely it’s left him on an emotional hook where he can’t let go of Dean wholly because he thinks there’s still a chance to get him back. (How he got so screwed up over the length of Dean’s death as well, aided by Ruby.)

* * *

The motel is red and has barred windows in it: the theme is probably not literally Hell (there are more bullfighters on the walls - a theme which re-emerged heavily in… season 10, surprisingly), but the redness is all around them, and Dean’s showing up against these barred windows of the prison, while they are yelling about Ruby. The over-the-shoulder shot gives us sort of Sam’s perspective, seeing Dean small and framed with this Hellish red prison. HMMM.

* * *

Dean gets a ton of shots of himself in the mirror. 

And framed with 2 yellow lights again:

* * *

> DEAN  
> Because you’re taking advice from a demon for starters. And by the way, you seem less and less worried about offing people. You know, it used to eat you up inside.

Actually, having this line in the back of my head from the recent rewatch of this episode is probably what made me wonder about Dean leaning on Sam for his morality. I talked a lot in season 1 and a bit in 2 about how they’re used as counter-balance to each other. 

Case in point:

> DEAN  
> Nothing, but it’s just what you’re supposed to do okay? We’re supposed to drive in the freakin’ car and freakin’ argue about this stuff. You know, you go on about the sanctity of life and all that crap. 

Dean sees the arguing as part of their whole deal - and expects it from Sam.

> SAM  
> Into you. I gotta be more like you. 

Sam then undermines that by making a really sad case that he has to turn into Dean, and in this case the fact they’re agreeing alarms Dean: it’s upsetting how they’re meant to work perpetually at odds, because if they agree they can spiral off anywhere because neither is stopping the other. They keep each other grounded by arguing things out: like I said, Dean really does feel like he puts his elbow out to lean on Sam and Sam’s not there so he stumbles. Because in THIS season anyway it is Sam modifying his behaviour for Dean.

Of course, he’s doing so by revealing an inherent darkness BUT I think it might be more that he’s not holding back darker thoughts or feelings whereas he would counterbalance  _himself_ \- he shushes his conscience because he just can’t listen to it, and he accepted the “little fallen angel” on his shoulder. So he’s all shoulder demon to Dean now, and Dean does NOT need another version of himself along with him.

* * *

Also for season 3 mk ii, Sam is the new Dean was a pretty strong theme as he subtly did over Dean’s season 9 arc. 

* * *

Poor Dean >.>

How long does it take for him to die? He’s already coughing up blood, and Sam’s running off to face the coven. Like, that is 99% revenge. He has  _no idea_  how Dean is.

He has the same red light fall on him while driving as Dean got when he was agreeing with Sam earlier to kill the witches.

* * *

Are there eyes on the floor?

Man, even Ruby saving Dean is gross.

But 1000 points for her “Stop calling me bitch” line. You go Ruby.

Of course Sam gets the short-term told you so for this:

> SAM  
> Dean, if she wants us dead, all she has to do is stop saving our lives. 

* * *

Sam’s angry confusion when they say that they were just getting Renee a lower mortgage rate. Imagine if the witches  _had_  been innocent in the sense that they just offed a few of their own but didn’t have a demon among them who’d take a chance to kill off the Winchesters…

(Or, well, Sam was never affected: were they killing off Dean to make Sam flip early so he’d be a useful leader?)

* * *

*takes a moment to bask in “You’re the shortbus…. *muttering* shortbus.”

* * *

Sam should have shot Tammi first as soon as he realised that she was a demon. He looked so scary for a moment there.

Right there. The eyes. Shoot now, Sammy.

* * *

Well, Sam still thinks Dean is dying/probably dead by now.

* * *

I said it last time, but still. “Every step of the way” the demon says, about their descent into witchcraft, sounding exactly like Ruby later in season 5.

* * *

Aaah! This is where Lilith is first mentioned! Sam starts out being all snarky and scathing about the demon army, and then Tammi is like “Lol no we don’t want you anyway.” That’s got to hurt, considering Sam’s been teased a little this season in the subtext with being flattered, cajoled, led or riled up by the demons to want to lead the army. They’ve all been after him and suddenly Tammi cuts that short, when Sam went in expecting the expectation.

> TAMMI  
> No, not at all. You’re not our Messiah. We don’t believe in you. But, there’s a new leader rising in the West – a  _real_  leader. That’s the horse to bet on, Sam, the one who’s gonna tear this world apart. Thing is, this demon? It doesn’t like you very much. It doesn’t want the competition. 

Tammi keeps it very gender neutral. As a rule, unless the writer is exceptionally aware of actual gender issues, casual gender neutral comments are used to conceal a female character because the default is male, ~obviously~, when you’re talking about a strong leader who’s going to tear the world apart. The only time you’d structure a sentence to keep the identity of a male character hidden would be if it was in a role it would be ~shocking~ to find a male character in.

I’d guess they actually knew about Lilith from this point.

* * *

Ruby acts all flirty with Tammi as she pretends to betray them. Hm. :P I think they have history. She’s going with what would be expected of her to conceal she’s up to something different. I mean if she just walked in randomly flirting and they had no history it would be really weird and catch her off guard.

Oh, she literally says “I wanted you for so long,” and Dean is like “wow okay” in the background.

We don’t get a great prolonged reaction from either of the Winchesters when Ruby betrays for them (Cas as a Ruby parallel~~~), focussing on the brutal fight where I’m pretty sure they threw a big Ruby-sized doll into the TV because her arm flopped really alarmingly when they did that. 

* * *

Wow, this fight with Ruby is brutal. Poor Ruby. :(

* * *

Oops, the “demons were human” reveal. GASP.

Well Tammi says that Ruby sold herself to her, so there must have been a deal.

Ruby and Tammi totally kissed.

Tammi knows a better different exorcism.

* * *

How comes Dean didn’t cough up any of those pins?

* * *

Aww. Poor character called Elizabeth is dead. :( Boo.

* * *

Yiiikes Dean gets really stabby on the demon. Like, knife 30 times in the ribs stabby to make sure she’s dead.

He’s paying back the favour for Ruby but there’s a lot of frustration and anger being vented there. Little scary Dean moment that could get over-looked with all the Sam descent stuff. But if Dean’s only not evil by grace of Sam being a counterbalance, is Dean going all Mr Stabby a suggestion that Sam is needed as much for him as the earlier conversation about Sam turning into Dean to pre-empt the void when he’s gone?

* * *

I get the feeling that between Sam and Ruby no one is going to comment on how stabby Dean got.

* * *

Does Ruby not take her knife back?

Just… lets them have it?

Oh, no, Dean left it in Tammi.

* * *

Huh! We see Sam washing his face from the other angle we saw Dean do it, but we don’t get aaany accompanying shot of Sam reflected in the mirror before or after. By not seeing his reflection, are we being symbolically denied his viewpoint? Or is he symbolically denying himself self-reflection, especially while trying to be someone else?

* * *

Ah, here we go…

I love the looks of the long line of yellow that Dean is walking along (I know red is associated with Hell too but it’s much more complex, while yellow light seems pretty straightforward). Also, the Impala looking at the moment like the solitary car in the parking lot, overhearing this conversation when no one else is around. I’m having a lot of feelings about Baby today for some reason so I think it’s great to have her here. :P

* * *

Flickery flickery lights, and here’s Ruby! 

She says she doesn’t believe in the devil, which is funny. I assume she was just being cute or meant she didn’t believe in him in that way - the sort of mystical elevated god figure way (at this point we only have Casey’s word that he’s an angel, and we’re still paralleling Casey and Ruby far down the line - Casey DID believe in the devil. I think all demons must know he  _exists_ , so it’s that tricky other definition of ‘believe’ at work.)

I guess Ruby is just more practical and cynical, while Casey represents a more romantic notion of demonhood. Like Ruby goes on to say, some demons forget what it was like to be human so much they barely remember it: they can buy into a different sort of myth of being a demon, while Ruby remembers what she was… understands what she  _is_  but she doesn’t have the same notions? 

* * *

Dean asking her if she was human and became a demon in Hell for real is lit with him having aaaaall that yellow light to his back.

I feel like all the colour coding so far was sort of for this to be a crowning moment for this big “oh shit” reveal. :P

> DEAN  
> So all of 'em – every damn demon – they were all human once?
> 
> RUBY  
> Every one I’ve ever met.
> 
> DEAN  
> Well, they sure don’t act like it.
> 
> RUBY  
> Most of them have forgotten what it means, or even that they were. That’s what happens when you go to Hell, Dean. That’s what Hell is – forgetting what you are.

I have seen some amazing commentary on how demon!Dean still remembered being Dean and clung to it in the same way Ruby was still quite grounded in knowing who she was (which made her complex, interesting and sympathetic, but in the end she was still evil and helped ruin everything :P) but it was the end of season 10 where he was no longer a demon but had slipped completely from who he was that he was most inhuman and lost. Demon!Dean was still making choices about or trying to figure out who he was and what he was meant to be. 

* * *

Ugh, her words send him into some thoughts which have him looking down and away, and then she turns around and he quickly looks back up. Can’t let her see he’s scaaared.

* * *

This kind of shrugs off for Dean that Ruby manipulated Sam exactly like he said she did in order to get close. She says it’s for sympathetic reasons (and I kind of believe Ruby at least to a degree about her emotional complexity because she did display it - she was sort of ruthless without being cruel, and dangerous because she was compassionate)… this is still overlooking the fact Sam believes Dean can be saved and has been made to think it, and half a year has gone by so that’s 6 months of Sam struggling on the fact Dean might be saved. I’m just saying, it got her close but it’s going to break Sam harder than if she hadn’t said it because he’s been built up to expect Dean to be saved, and by extension not truly let go. 

* * *

> RUBY  
> Look at you. Tryin’ to be all stoic. My god, it’s heartbreaking. 

Dean!girls. :P

* * *

> RUBY  
> I need your help.
> 
> DEAN  
> Help with what?
> 
> RUBY  
> With Sam. The way you stuck that demon tonight – it was pretty tough. Sam’s almost there, but not quite. You need to help me get him ready – for life without you. To fight this war on his own.

I suppose this is part 2 of the collateral damage conversation she gave Sam: making Dean think that Sam needs to be toughened up some more (playing on his idea of Sam as not tough enough thanks to the inbuilt need to protect him courtesy of John’s A+ parenting?) and approving of Dean’s own bloodthirsty killing earlier. Validation! It’s a Winchester’s weak spot. :P

* * *

Look at the sad man standing in a pool of moonlight in a dark parking lot. *crying for Dean Winchester always*


	10. 3x10

For an episode all about Bobby this sure has a lot of pointless drama about Dean. Pfft.

/she says like her entire blog isn’t a pointless drama about Dean

* * *

The opening montage thing feels really cluttered after taking more time to remind you who Lisa is than I swear she actually spends in the episode. :P Even with that aside, it makes a nod to Bela, Bobby and Ruby. Compared to season 1, they’re brimming with characters. (Season 2 could have re-introduced the same number of characters in one go, but they were all Roadhouse aside from Bobby so kind of one unit - in this case all 4 other characters come from different worlds, so it’s really showing how this season they’ve branched out with the people they know, and the way the show is using other characters to move their story on right now.) Ruby might not be in this episode, but her conversation with Dean is key to it, and haunts the episode.

* * *

Staring the episode with a pan around a suspiciously tidy Bobby’s house. :< That’s basically:

\- this episode

\- Karen’s back!

\- his death episode at one point I think

\- Heaven

*makes a lot of sad faces*

When cleanliness and order is a surprise, and a sign of terrible things to come.

Or a sign of what makes Bobby Bobby stripped away to his dark emotional core he wants no one prodding at… Until Heaven when he’s in a sanitised happy bubble and what makes Bobby Bobby is a dangerous thing that must be kept away from him.

* * *

Omg he has a bowl of apples on the table. Remember how I randomly fixated on Dean having a bowl of apples on the table in 2x20 as a sign that something was Terribly Wrong?

* * *

“Terribly wrong” she says, as someone shrieky leaps out on Bobby and starts screaming and tussling with him to loud dramatic white flashes to cut to him in his coma.

OKAY pls we don’t need this. *winces* *takes 2 painkillers and carries on*

* * *

*was squinting to try and see if Karen was beating him into The Rug, but it’s unclear because of all the flashes and shaking and I think if The Rug was anywhere it would be back in Bobby’s front room where it was in his Heaven* 

* * *

The first shot of Bobby is all white sheets, white shirt, pale light that makes him look like he’s in a hospital. It’s only when it cuts to show the rest of the motel room you see he’s just out of it in a normal bed. Gosh, but this room. It’s so visually distinctive. I love it.

I assume there has been a ton written on the bird symbolism from this episode, but here’s something for consideration:

That painting look familiar?

From [3x05](http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/123724458688/spn-hellatus-rewatch-3x05-more-i-should), a night-time version of the exact same scene:

It was used to represent a dream there, directly paralleling the real world outside, and fit well into representing their world as a fairy tale dream, with the picture appearing directly over Dean’s head as he slept, as if in the Sims when you look down on them in bed and they’re dreaming their little thought bubbles with random fish icons or whatever :P

* * *

Sam continues his turning into Dean before Dean is Dean thing by drinking whiskey at 2pm in a seedy bar. If anything DEAN starts turning into season 3 Sam later based on this logic. On the other hand, Sam saying he needs to turn into Dean and then starts turning into this worst-case scenario Dean that even we don’t see until later suggests Sam has a pretty good idea how Dean would be if he were in the worst-case scenario. 

Like, yeah, they’ve spent time in bars, but so far nothing’s made me flip out and point to our season 9 Dean showing up. Occasional attitude aside, it’s pretty much just been going stabby on Tammi last episode. No pity party in the bar yet. Not really.

* * *

> SAM  
> I’m serious, Dean.
> 
> DEAN  
> No, you’re drunk.

Ah, Dean’s endless list of reasons why important emotional conversations can’t happen or don’t count. He’s already used this one on Sam from last season in Playthings where Sam made him promise to kill him, and thought he’d got away with it because Sam was drunk.

Kind of fitting in the episode where he actually has someone he can’t ignore or shake off having an important emotionally revealing conversation with him.

* * *

> SAM  
> I mean, where you’re going… what you’re gonna become.  
> I can’t stop it.  
> I’m starting to think maybe even Ruby can’t stop it. But really, the thing is, no one can save you.
> 
> DEAN  
> What I’ve been telling you.
> 
> SAM  
> No, that’s not what I mean. I mean, no one can save you, because you don’t wanna be saved. (pause) I mean, how can you care so little about yourself?

Ah, so Dean seems to have told Sam that all demons were people and all people who go to Hell become demons. That’s good. Communication! \o/

Of course, communication that immediately sent Sam for the bottle. Perhaps that’s why there is less communication later.

Dean’s face when Sam says he doesn’t think Ruby can stop it though. It’s pretty certain that Dean hasn’t told Sam that Ruby said she was lying about that part to make Sam go along with her, so Dean seems to have agreed with Ruby that perhaps it is important to coddle Sam in some ways to make this easier for him (short term). Dean is not considering the long-term damage this will cause though.

The final question is posed and not answered…

Yet. We’ll get there today.

* * *

Aww Bobby :(

Aww Bobby making Dean his emergency contact. :(

* * *

Cranes are apparently [a symbol of freedom or vigilance and standing sentry](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FCrane_%28bird%29%23In_mythology_and_symbolism&t=YTFkZjk4OWY0YjY3YWYyOTZlMTk1ZmY3MGQzODFlNTUyN2VmNzAyZSx4Sm1hMWh2Yg%3D%3D&b=t%3AEoTmUHpiEEiE91JGAXVv3Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Felizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124158015783%2Fspn-hellatus-rewatch-3x10-for-an-episode-all&m=1). This picture shows one pecking at something while the other watches, so I’d guess the sentry meaning.

Each of the brothers has their burden in looking out for the other this season, so.

I’m not entirely sure but after spending ages looking at wading birds on google I think the more abstract birds on the wall are possible cranes as well, but in the peacock colours.

* * *

Dean comments on how tidy Bobby’s hotel room is, mentioning there isn’t even a pizza box or a beer can. Obviously in Tall Tales it was the complete opposite situation - he came hurrying over to save THEM while they were staying uncharacteristically in an inner-city hotel rather than motel (green themed as well!) and he found the place a total tip after they’d been staying there for a week or so.

Gosh why am I bringing up near direct Tall Tales narrative mirrors right now at this exact point in the season? :P

* * *

Bobby’s wall of info for this case looks like a wild ride - herbs, shrooms, poisonous frogs…

* * *

I thought for a moment Dean would start flirting with the lab assistant when she said she could tell him about it later, but instead he went all strict scary Fed threatening to take her down to the station if she didn’t tell him right now. There was a moment of hesitation where it  _looked_  like he might flirt for the information, but then he abruptly didn’t, after starting off friendly and smiling at her and acting sympathetic about Dr Gregg’s death.

He’s been separated out from Sam for this little stretch anyway, with Sam left behind to do his awesome research thing where he makes sense of the connection between a load of random google image search results for hallucinogens, and Dean goes to intimidate people, making it a case study on Dean’s behaviour towards them.

He’s pantsing it with the lady but then manages to lie and indirectly threaten (in characters as a Fed not physical threats that is) his way into getting all the research, and it cuts directly to the experimented upon guy. Dean walks in looking really stern like he’s going to carry on this persona he quickly erected as the Fed to the woman, but the guy is concerned about the, uh, ferns he’d been growing, and Dean, with a history of drug use already sneakily hinted in the subtext, and a tendency to like guys like this on a personal level, tells him to relax and that he’s not in trouble. The guy immediately offers him a beer - obviously a ploy on his part just like he got Bobby since he clearly realises immediately this follow up is nothing good (especially if Bobby used the same cover so he can extrapolate Dean may be following up the lead on Bobby not the case they were both pretending to be on) - and it plays off Dean’s lurking alcoholism subtext (see above: Sam drinking at 2pm in an apparently very Dean-like way). Dean does the glance around check-no-one-can-see-me-doing-this look, and takes the beer. So here we have an immediate flipped version of how it started with the woman: casual into closed off and lying, closed off into casual and letting the persona slip a bit.

And of course relaxing around this guy leads directly to him getting into Dean’s head. Parallels have been made with Nick the siren getting Dean by the shared flask (one of the same writers), and here it’s a bottle of beer which gets Dean into trouble. Weird mix of Dean’s alcoholism and bi subtext all knotted up together across seasons. (And weirdly as I was typing this I distractedly went to check my activity because I have no attention span, and saw [someone had reblogged this post](http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/121793969228/after-rewatching-2x03-i-made-a-throw-away-comment) I wrote after watching 2x03 commenting on the similarities THERE where again Dean’s guard was brought down by alcohol, in one of his first scenes where we  _really_  see him drink.)

(AND WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT I wasn’t going to say anything more about Dean’s cautious little look around but when he says “I guess I can make an exception” I was reminded of [this succinct little gifset](http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/123590977108/bakasara-entire-metas-about-this-close-up) :P)

This guy is about the deepest into obscure subtext and homoerotic by proxy he can get but he fits well into several established patterns with Dean.

* * *

*guy winks at Dean* *Dean does that thing where he drinks and it looks extremely hot* *Dean takes a look at the guy, remembers what he’s about, clears his throat as if to set this entire exchange aside like it never happened, and gets back to talking about Dr Gregg*

* * *

> JEREMY  
> Just passed right out. And uh, I had the most vivid, super-intense dream. Like a bad acid trip, you know?
> 
> DEAN  
> (forgets he’s in character)  
> Totally.  
> (remembers his role)  
> I mean, no.

Laughing at those notes in the transcript because of all the time I waste on reading/writing meta about Dean’s persona. :P 

* * *

UGH BOBBY.

You know, Karen is not screaming threateningly. Those are probably noises of terror that she made when she died/the demon made when he was stabbing it just to fuck with him/I don’t know what but it’s AWFUL and Karen is not angry even if she’s attacking him - the sounds don’t add up.

Ugh.

* * *

Sam n Dean finally work out what’s even up with Bobby.

Dean walks down a corridor with 2 separate red exit signs floating behind his head. From 2 different camera angles. Sam manages not to touch any of them.

The “Crap, Bela.” “Bela. Crap.” conversation is hands down one of the best Winchester conversations ever.

* * *

Pffteehehe Bela wearing a trenchcoat because she’s doing the thing where she’s got just underwear on underneath. Just… This pre-dates the show having a character who is basically “trenchcoat guy”. I don’t think they’d dare do it now since it’s become so written into the show’s own visual language as a Cas thing.

In Red Sky At Night when they first bumped into her she was wearing a coat (presumably with clothes under) that had the same look because of her neckline - I wonder if there’s an intentional little lead on there where if this IS just a dream from Sam, he noticed, thought it, and it’s been messing with his head since. (Or she did it intentionally to make them uncomfortable)

If we’re making Sam into Dean for this season, having him randomly more horny than normal seems a way to do that, but having terrible no good bad idea hook ups just happen in dreams stops Sam from actually doing anything IRL he’d regret…

On the other hand, they did just ask Bela for African Dreamroot so she’s got to immediately have some on hand and know they need it, and she’s planning a con on them, so fucking with Sam figuratively by doing it literally by exploiting this thing might as well be a way to get them off-guard. He’s super weird around her because of the dream… I can’t remember how she nicks the Colt, but yeah. She hasn’t even actually got there yet. :P

However, since [ibelieveinthelittletreetopper](http://tmblr.co/mYr585tBoIyA87IGSmY2d0Q) floated the idea that she’d always read it as Bela screwing with Sam deliberately which a ton of people had never even considered, I’m actually taking that as a pretty good reading tbh.

* * *

Some quick googling suggests peacocks are also symbolic of freedom and watchfulness. Especially relating to that whole fan of eyes, I’d guess. They’re also symbolic of immortality, with some lore that their flesh did not decay after death.

Because of the eyes thing they’re also spiritual and represent awakening.

[This random website](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fchristianity.stackexchange.com%2Fquestions%2F19316%2Fwhat-is-the-symbolism-of-the-peacock&t=YjVmNGY4MDU2ZDQ2ZTFkZDI4YWI0NDVhZjNkZjRkMGUxNGEyOGVkMCx4Sm1hMWh2Yg%3D%3D&b=t%3AEoTmUHpiEEiE91JGAXVv3Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Felizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124158015783%2Fspn-hellatus-rewatch-3x10-for-an-episode-all&m=1) that deal with Christian symbolism in particular says:

> One can find a reference to the peacock in the book of [Revelation 4:6](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.biblegateway.com%2Fpassage%2F%3Fsearch%3DRevelation%2B4%26version%3DNIV&t=NzZmM2E5ZWMxNzlmODQ1ODk0ZGJjZjI1MmEyMGE0M2Q4MWVhOWU3Zix4Sm1hMWh2Yg%3D%3D&b=t%3AEoTmUHpiEEiE91JGAXVv3Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Felizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124158015783%2Fspn-hellatus-rewatch-3x10-for-an-episode-all&m=1):
> 
> Before the throne there was a sea of glass, like crystal. And in the midst of the throne, and around the throne, were four living creatures full of eyes in front and in back.
> 
> “Full of eyes”… “The tail of the peacock, with its ‘thousand eyes’ are symbolic of omnipotence and often ascribed to the Archangel Michael. The peacock’s feather is sometimes associated with St. Barbara.”[1](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fsymboldictionary.net%2F%3Fp%3D1333&t=MDIxNjZmYWI2ZmU5Y2E0MTY0YmRlYzllYWE0ZWU4OTkwMTVhMTFjZix4Sm1hMWh2Yg%3D%3D&b=t%3AEoTmUHpiEEiE91JGAXVv3Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Felizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124158015783%2Fspn-hellatus-rewatch-3x10-for-an-episode-all&m=1) Also, The peacock, (due to an ancient myth that Peacock flesh did not decay), is seen as a symbol of immortality.
> 
> The peacock is also seen as a symbol of resurrection: “When the peacock sheds his feathers, he grows more brilliant ones than those he lost.”

Obviously if you’ve spent any time looking at the fanart for this show you’ll have learned how a lot of artists take the Biblical idea of angels with wings covered with billions of literal eyes, which isn’t far off from the tail feathers of peacocks.

[This website suggests](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ehow.com%2Finfo_8701234_white-peacock-symbolism.html&t=ZjE5YjVhYWU5NzllMTA3ODFmMTE0YThkYWZiNzFkMWE1YjA3ZGI3NSx4Sm1hMWh2Yg%3D%3D&b=t%3AEoTmUHpiEEiE91JGAXVv3Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Felizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124158015783%2Fspn-hellatus-rewatch-3x10-for-an-episode-all&m=1) white peacocks in particular in Christian art are used to symbolise Jesus. General googling suggests they’re much more spiritual than the already spiritual meaning of peacocks. 

So, a fair bit of angel/Jesus symbolism there… Hahaha. The white peacock is preening itself or turned away, while the normal one, like with the cranes (that you can see behind Sam in the same shot) is the one on alert. 

Out of nowhere whatsoever, I feel I should mention Tall Tales included a random lingering shot on the big stained glass window at the college, which was entirely made up of various Jesus scenes.

… And to tie peacocks into Dean, Skin featured the victim of shifter!Dean wearing a shirt with a peacock design, and was our first example of meeting another version of Dean.

* * *

Sam n Bela get it on until Dean is like dude please stop making sex noises while I am right here in the room with you. (He acts not bothered but he felt the need to wake Sam up before it got too weird. :P)

Dean makes his quip about Sam dreaming about either side of Brangelina, which, in the probably completely unintentional side of things, we have just in 3x01 him making a reference to a Brad Pitt film which totally stumped the others. Dean comes across infinitely more concerned about Brad Pitt. :P

Anyways, one more “Dean accuses Sam of being into dudes while probably projecting to high hell about the stuff he dreams of” for the collection.

* * *

I am going to die of second hand embarrassment from Sam trying not to act like he was just thinking about Bela. Oh god.

Huh, so Dean says that Bela isn’t going to help them, but this is right after he phoned her to ask for help. If Bela had easy access to the root and tried it to see if it worked, bumping into Sam in his dream would basically just be her giving it a test run. 

… Wait, nope, she literally just walks into the room. She’s wearing a different coat but one that looks a LOT the same. She totally could have been in the room next door.

Also, get Cas a black trenchcoat for season 11 come ON it’s been YEARS. 

The fact she’s silently messing with Sam by needlessly taking off her coat as well… Yeah, I’m sold on this theory. :P There’s no way she  _accidentally_  re-creates the dream’s sexual elements while not looking at Sam. :P 

She gets to see where they keep the Colt anyway, which was presumably her goal in coming there but not something she expected Dean to hand her on a plate… That makes at least the second time Dean has fallen for her ploys waaay too easily.

> BELA  
> It’s 2 am. Where am I supposed to go?
> 
> DEAN  
> Get a room. Ah, they got the Magic Fingers, a little Casa Erotica on pay-per-view. You’ll love it.

Okay, I am wary of this, especially in my original reading of it as Bela unknowingly being in Sam’s dream and therefore this whole scene being about Sam turned on by her, and, okay, awkward and suffering for it, but still it gets to a situation where you have to take a step back and say “someone  _wrote_  Sam having a boner for this whole scene and then Dean said this to her” (is it better that 2 women writers did this episode?) but I suppose this line from Dean offers a counterbalance in the understanding that Bela has been messing with Sam. Dean telling her she can go be lonely and pleasure herself if she wants but she’s not getting any from them is (has he noticed Sam?) a defence to ward off having her sexuality as part of their dynamic… Like if she stayed with them it would inevitably be a sexual thing (whether they did anything or not: Sam’s still making her very presence in the room an awkward sexual situation) and so she can butt off and do her thing elsewhere if she wants. I suppose if Dean read the scene properly (even without knowing Bela was in the dream?) this makes sense. Sam is PRETTY AWKWARD here.

Maybe it’s more in this case he’s so over Bela (He did swear he’d kill her - and in a Gamble episode - last time they interacted) that her sexuality turned towards  _him_  is a no-go, so he’s telling her that her staying is not going to happen ever in a million years; he is associating her WITH sexuality because she has already suggested they should do it some time, but he’s deferring it all back into her court. (The angry sex comment is another instance of Bela asserting herself sexually at them, if we’re gathering evidence that the dream Sam had could be engineered by her). I think perhaps the way Bela comes in in the trenchcoat in front of Dean, and goes through the motions of Sam’s sex dream again in front of Dean, but completely platonic, could be a pretty good visual demonstration of how it’s never going to happen.

* * *

> DEAN  
> Uh, should we dim the lights and synch up Wizard of Oz to Dark Side of the Moon?
> 
> SAM  
> Why?
> 
> DEAN  
> What did you do during college?

Aah, Dean and drugs. This episode is doing a lot of the subtext. :P This is less overt than the last mention in that you could just say that it’s a cultural thing Dean knows about and he’s making a reference, especially as he’s associating it with the college experience, which he’s never had, but at the same time, coming not long after he copped to knowing what a trip was like…

* * *

Ah! Isn’t there some tree-covered wallpaper in this soon as part of the dream? Look, the trees are above their beds, where the painting of the lake with the moon was over Dean’s head in the fairy tale episode. I just love how blue they are, on the intensely blue beds, with the blue birds behind them… The lamp looks like a variation on the yellow lamp from the same episode I just mentioned… It’s fairly obvious blue is the colour of dreams right here and now. :P 

(Bonus mention: the little blue heron/crane on the card beside the lamp which might be a bit small to make out in the screenshot here but on my big monitor is fairly obvious)

* * *

WHOOMP the colour is all gone and we’re back to, like, arty gifsets levels of desaturated with only red showing up. :P

> SAM  
> Wait. Wait a sec. Imagine the place, uh, without the paint job. More cluttered, dusty, books all over the place. 

Bitterly laughing about Bobby’s obsessive hunter clutter making it home. But also the way Sam visually walks Dean through imaginging all the crud back in place.

The wide shot reveals that the orange rug was not in fact a standard feature of Bobby’s old tidy house.

* * *

Sam goes from wearing a shirt that looks grey to wearing blue so over-saturated it hurts to look at the stripes. And all the other bright colours like the flowers and stuff.

* * *

Dean continues wandering in the washed out house.

Weeeird feeling about him crossing the kitchen in a dream along the  _exact same path_  he crosses the kitchen in a dream in 4x02.

Aww Bobby’s panicked whimper at the sight of Karen. :(

Let’s all just take a minute to reflect on the tragedy of her saying Bobby should have found a way to save her and Bobby going off and finding all the ways to save everyone else but never her. :( Oh god Bobby and Karen kill me.

> BOBBY  
> You were possessed, baby. You were rabid. And I didn’t know what I know now. I didn’t know how to save you.
> 
> KAREN SINGER   
> You’re lying. You wanted me dead! If you’d loved me, you would’ve found a way!

:(

* * *

She continues to sound like she’s screaming for help while beating angrily on the door.

Bobby manages to will her away after Dean makes the situation a million times worse for my poor heart:

> DEAN  
> I’m not gonna let you die. You’re like a father to me. You gotta believe me, please. 

Ouchies. I don’t think Dean’s said it before? He re-introduces himself to Bobby in 4x01 with similar phrasing. Bobby gets way more use after this as well - they’ve called him for stuff but he’s been off-screen for most of the season so far. I think that it’s very significant that Bobby gets officially labelled as a replacement father in this particular episode for some mysterious reason which is not at all to do with John or Dean expressing anything about him. :P 

* * *

Yay, Bobby manages to de-summon his wife. He gets attacked so often in his own home - those twins, zombies, soulless!Sam…

* * *

> DEAN  
> Hey, Bobby. That, uh… That stuff, all that stuff with your wife? That actually happen?
> 
> BOBBY  
> Everybody got into hunting somehow.

:(

This is a theme for the season I guess, with 3x01 having Tamara and Isaac’s story going on in the background. Now we hear about Bobby’s motivation to start hunting at last. Of course at this point we’re finally beyond poking at why Sam n Dean are still doing it because they’re caught in a free fall of bad decisions and destiny, whereas in season 1 and 2 they occasionally had the time to think about  _not_  doing it, Dean’s going to die soon (3x02 showed how he had to reject the idea of a future with Lisa to carry on hunting with what little time he has left because he’s ended his future and all he can do is that go down swinging line he loves so much) and Sam is all in this season with Ruby helping, and Dean’s deal to motivate him. Perhaps at this point various stories about how the death of loved ones pushing people into hunting sort of shows the inevitability of it: if you want to fight back against the bad things this is what you become.

See also: Bobby’s freakishy tidy house vs what they know of it with the layer of hunter lifestyle piled on top.

* * *

Dean and Bobby share this personal, emotionally open moment, and then Sam walks in to talk about the case. Little building blocks of Dean becoming Bobby’s stated favourite, I guess: the way because Dean is the emotional POV of the show vs Sam’s constant myth arc-ing means Dean just gets these moments more, and because in the long run that adds up to something we get Dean and Bobby more closely bonded by default. I think up until now they’ve always just talked to him impersonally/together, and then Dean was the one who was separated out to find out what’s going on in Bobby’s head and talk about it after.

* * *

To the shock horror of no one, a story about fathers, with Dean openly adopting Bobby in the text, turns out to include the bad guy of the week having been physically abused by his father as the cause of his trauma.

(Noteworthy: he hit Jeremy with a baseball bat: Jeremy was going to kill Sam with one before Bobby woke them all up - theme of sons with their father’s weapons? I have no idea what this is all about :P)

* * *

Thinking of like-father-like-son, Dean and Bobby both getting caught with the beer bottle thing: Bobby’s alcoholism is paralleled to Dean’s a few times through the show. I can’t remember if he ever makes a point of saying it in especially season 7 though I’m picking on that season because I feel that’s where the parallels were loudest (the  _flask_ ), but Bobby is not Mr Healthy Coping Mechanisms, and Dean falls into the same patterns.

And again all this subtext is falling on Dean before he ever actually gets there himself, not in the way we see him in later seasons.

* * *

I can’t believe they let Dean drive after being awake for 2 days. Sam is cool, he doesn’t need to stay awake.

Twitchy caffeine Dean is always fun.

I guess at this point he was actually sleeping more than he does these days - he’s a little traumatised, but not so much as he will be: he’s already a mess compared to your average bloke but it’s nothing compared to post Hell Dean. 2 days doesn’t seem like such a big deal for later seasons Dean. :P

* * *

> DEAN  
> Come on man, we can’t find him, so let him come to me.
> 
> SAM  
> On his own turf? Where he’s basically a god?

Ah man, their thing about taking down gods. :P Although I seem to remember Sam gets him this time?

> DEAN  
> ‘Cause I don’t want you digging around in my head.
> 
> SAM  
> Too bad.

Dean looks really upset by that, because of course he’s kept himself maaaassively guarded from Sam. Funnily enough, I swear I’m going to stop linking to my own meta, but now today [THIS](http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/122763521023/hi-so-this-has-been-bugging-me-for-awhile-but-do) thing is going around cluttering up my activity, where I talk a bit about Dean protecting Sam from knowing what goes on inside his head and keeping up a mask all the time. So of course there’s an element of Dean not wanting Sam in there just because he’s scared that Sam will see how messed up he is. This is a whole season of keeping the bravest brave face for Sam, and Dean’s legitimately terrified - and when he goes deep into his own head we SEE that fear manifested… And thankfully to Dean Sam doesn’t see it, but it’s clear the idea of Sam finding out how scared and vulnerable Dean is and undermining his attempt to be strong and brave for him is a huge thing on Dean’s mind when Sam snags the hair from his head.

* * *

This feels like a reverse of normal episodes where I unpause it and notice that there’s 5 minutes left and nothing’s happened yet, but now there’s only 10 minutes left and we’ve only just shown up in Dean’s head.

Hi Lisa!

It’s sad that even in this dream she’s like “We only have an hour before we pick Ben up” - sure that’s suggesting they’ll go off and be a family unit together, but it makes even this picnic snatching time. (And his issue with Lisa is that there wouldn’t  _be_  time to be with her, hence the cruelty of his subconscious here.)

* * *

She fizzles out and I’m not sure if Jeremy ended it to get their attention and split them up, or if Dean managed to cancel it.

* * *

Dean gets lost in a corridor lined with trees mimicking the woods he’d been running around in (remember the pictures of woods above their beds to represent where they are dreaming? We already know the paintings represent their dreams and here we are) - it’s unclear if it’s the hallway to the hotel because it actually is (I’ve been keeping an eye out and not glimpsed the trees - they use the door very carefully to not show the hallway before now, but maybe I sneezed and missed it at some point), or if it was just a transition effect from the dreamworld. Either way, it leads them back to their  _current_  hotel room. 

Like I was joking about Sam and the Ghost of Christmas Present, Dean is not visiting something from his past - and even though he’s going to be taunted about his future (well, Lisa was sort of that too) this is meant to be about his absolute here and now: what is haunting him moment by moment. I think it’s important they didn’t try to come up with any representation of the future (possibly just because it would be impossible to tell us in visual shorthand) but focussed on using that distinctive hotel room. 

* * *

The red light of dooooom. There’s another between the beds.

* * *

Demon!Dean is also wearing the same clothes as Dean right now in this scene - another link to him being a part of the present day. Dean mistakes him, in the dark, or perhaps not wanting to recognise himself, as Jeremy. I’m sure this link is totally accidental. :P

* * *

*watches it through once for the intensity, twice because while I was watching it through without stopping building work began outside the house and I missed all the good dialogue* :P

* * *

> DREAM DEAN  
> Hey, Dean.
> 
> DEAN  
> Well, aren’t you a handsome son of a gun.

Aw Dean. Using your own flirty defence mechanisms on yourself.

> DREAM DEAN  
> We need to talk.
> 
> DEAN  
> I get it. I get it. I’m my own worst nightmare, is that it? Huh? Kind of like the Superman III junkyard scene? A little mano y mano with myself?
> 
> DREAM DEAN  
> Joke all you want, smart-ass. But you can’t lie to me. I know the truth. 

While they’re talking they circle completely around each other, with blue and red lights moving in the background, and end up standing in each other’s spots. So not only are they confusing between him and Jeremy, but between Dean and demon!Dean. (They both get the sunburst clock behind their head like a halo because of this swap - demon!Dean is also putting himself between Dean and the door, blocking him into the conversation)

The fact demon!Dean says they need to talk though - Dean is all repression and refusing to look cold hard truths in the face. His own subconscious knows that he does this and dodges ever looking himself in the face - and so “We need to talk” is basically his own brain ganging up on him for his unhealthy way of avoiding serious discussion: see above, the bar scene with Sam in the opening where Dean uses one of his serious topic of conversation dodges.

> DREAM DEAN  
> I know how dead you are inside. How worthless you feel. I know how you look into a mirror… and hate what you see.

We’ve had a couple of episodes recently with Dean looking in a mirror to wash his face when they get in to the motel. See also: season 9/10 themes of Dean constantly checking his reflection - season 10 at least definitely looking for the black eyes, while in season 9, just a callback to this. (Obviously, this encounter is him seeing all of the stuff he  _doesn’t_  want to see when he looks in the mirror dragged out to talk to him)

Also the whole dead inside thing which haunts him - notably in his encounter with Famine. Obviously Dean’s worthlessness has been a plot thing before - selling his soul - and was a quiet theme of season 2, but season 3 has all been about constantly forcing that on him with regards to living with his deal.

> DEAN   
> Sorry, pal. It’s not gonna work. You’re not real.
> 
> DREAM DEAN  
> Sure I am. I’m you.
> 
> DEAN  
> I don’t think so. 'Cause see, this is my siesta. Not yours. All I gotta do is snap my fingers and you go bye-bye.
> 
> He snaps his fingers once, and nothing happens. DEAN’s smile fades, and he snaps again, noticing nothing’s happening. DREAM DEAN just watches him. DEAN snaps them three more times and then lets his hand fall to his side, eyebrows lifted. DREAM DEAN gives him an I-told-you-so nod.
> 
> DREAM DEAN  
> I’m not going anywhere. Neither are you.

Dean tries to dodge the conversation again, convinced his cheerful surface layer “lol my life is a joke” attitude can help him dismiss this reflection, but it doesn’t work because this IS Dean he’s talking to - a side of himself he can’t ignore. Literally, the point of the symbolism of demon!Dean getting between him and the door, before he locks them in. He’s in control because Dean is spiralling  _out_  of control on the inside through this season, so what takes control instead is all this darkness. See also: all the murdery fading morals about stuff this season.

* * *

Sam is given a jump scare to wake up, and in one of the truly most creepy moments of this whole damn show, Jeremy is in Dean’s place, I think wearing Dean’s clothes (and possibly even having Jensen there for a moment before we cut to the angle we can see his face) - the blurring between them in incredible, and Jeremy has his dad’s baseball bat again. 

* * *

> JEREMY  
> The doc? No, no. The doc’s the one that got me hooked on this stuff and then he took it away. But I needed it, and he wouldn’t let me have it.
> 
> SAM  
> So you killed him?

While the Jeremy/Dean parallels are heavily made by blurring them together twice, it’s interesting that Sam is the one due an addiction arc next up, and the way he beats Jeremy is with strength of mind while dreaming, i.e. tapping into something probably very much from the same place his powers came from. He may be theoretically cut off this season, but Jeremy was “like a god” in the dream world from taking so much dream root while Sam had taken it twice. He still managed, in a mental battle, to trump Jeremy’s control and summon elements to terrorise Jeremy with.

Just saying. The kid’s scary. :P

(To continue playing the long game, of course Dean’s addiction arc is season 9, the end of which is heavily evocative of this episode.)

* * *

> DREAM DEAN  
> I mean, you’re going to hell and you won’t lift a finger to stop it. Talk about low self-esteem. Then again, I guess it’s not much of a life worth saving, now is it?
> 
> DEAN  
> Wake up, Dean. Come on, wake up.
> 
> DREAM DEAN  
> I mean, after all, you’ve got nothing outside of Sam.

Do you know why this conversation sounds familiar?

<http://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/123188096716/savingpeoplegiffingthings-the-supernatural-gif>

I told you this episode was all about Bobby. :P In the same episode Dean first tells Bobby that he’s like a father to him, he then confronts himself, and an echo of this conversation from right after he sold his soul comes floating back: Bobby shows this huge emotional concern from Dean: He IS someone outside of Sam that Dean has - acknowledged in this very episode that he has that powerful family tie to Dean. So Dean’s worst fears/darkest thoughts are undermined by the text of the episode they’re aired in.

Of course, Bobby’s concern might be noted, but that doesn’t just magically stop Dean from internalising all this crap and still thinking it: in a way perhaps this is Bobby’s words shouting to get out again, but showing how they’re just tangled up and turned back on themselves into Dean’s subconscious saying, yes, I do have that low an opinion of myself. 

> DREAM DEAN   
> You are nothing. You’re as mindless and obedient as an attack dog.
> 
> DEAN  
> That -That’s not true.
> 
> DREAM DEAN   
> No? What are the things that you want? What are the things that you dream? I mean, your car? That’s Dad’s. Your favorite leather jacket? Dad’s. Your music? Dad’s. Do you even have an original thought?
> 
> DEAN scoffs, not wanting to admit to anything.
> 
> DREAM DEAN  
> No. No, all there is is, "Watch out for Sammy. Look out for your little brother, boy!” You can still hear your Dad’s voice in your head, can’t you?
> 
> He motions with the weapon to his head.
> 
> DREAM DEAN  
> Clear as a bell.

Aaand here’s the Dean as an attack dog metaphor rearing its head. First time? Definitely the most significant early seasons on - of course a lot of the meta about the end of season 9/10x02 in particular was about Dean being turned into an attack dog for Crowley as part of his demonification.

The line about what he wants and dreams are interesting because we were shown Lisa, that fleeting dream he can’t allow himself to have, that’s just dismissed as a ghostly spectre of a possibility (she literally fizzes out like a ghost when she disappears). While I don’t think Lisa is what he needed as an end game, it was what he  _wanted_ , probably because he didn’t think he could ever have it. However, this whole thing goes on to say that everything Dean is supposedly is from John - undermining the idea of what Dean wants perhaps as just another thing he would want because the idea of it would have pleased John. In the end we get to see him trying to make that life with Lisa and finding it’s  _not_  what he wants, not in the whole part, and one of the major factors is his conditioning about watching out for Sam.

And man, the bit about hearing John’s voice - even before demon!Dean says that, his words  _sound_  like John. (I think it’s interesting about the phone call episode, which is one of the less inspiring in this season, but it has Dean responding to John’s voice on the phone and being confident it’s him from the sound of it - sneaky hint that he is still haunted by John’s words right at the end of the season.)

(Also noteworthy - demon!Dean gesturing his own head with the gun… More suggestions of Dean’s suicidal mindset, since this part of the conversation starts with him reminding Dean he doesn’t even care about dying and being dragged to Hell.)

> DREAM DEAN  
> … all he ever did is train you, boss you around. But Sam …. Sam he doted on. Sam, he loved.
> 
> DEAN  
> I mean it. I’m getting angry.

Ah, some more of the back and forth the Winchesters feel of thinking John liked the other better. :<

> DREAM DEAN  
> Dad knew who you really were. A good soldier and nothing else. Daddy’s blunt little instrument. Your own father didn’t care whether you lived or died. Why should you? 

*wonders if there’s anything symbolic about the abusive father using a blunt instrument to hurt Jeremy and killing his ability to dream, until it turned him into a monster who used the same blunt instrument to hurt people*

Naaah.

Interesting the line that Dean subconsciously thinks John doesn’t care. In Faith John  _didn’t_  do anything to show he cared and Dean expressed his anger about that when they finally talked at the end of season 1. John saving Dean in the opening of season 2 came with the order to save or kill Sam, so his concern for Dean’s life came with the attachment that there was still a mission for Dean to do: a reason beyond concern that John brought him back. Of course, John did not WANT Dean dead and he cared; it’s not as black and white as demon!Dean is saying, because obviously this is the worst case scenario he imagines of his life meaning nothing. But John’s choice to save Dean  _did_  have terms and conditions even if they weren’t a “I only resurrected you to do this” thing, they still came across AS terms and conditions, and it’s those words from John which lead us directly to this scene.

> DEAN  
> My father was an obsessed bastard!
> 
> All that crap he dumped on me, about protecting Sam! That was his crap. He’s the one who couldn’t protect his family. He-
> 
> He’s the one who let Mom die.
> 
> – who wasn’t there for Sam. I always was! He wasn’t fair! I didn’t deserve what he put on me.
> 
> And I don’t deserve to go to Hell!

:’)

ONCE AGAIN, really complex: John didn’t  _let_  Mary die because he was pretty helpless in that situation, knowing nothing of the supernatural, and it was Mary who brought the deal on herself (and Mary’s apology to Sam in Home and awareness of who Azazel is in 2x21 seem to suggest this was at least something they were looking to include for the whole show). BUT Dean feels totally helpless and the problems of the family weigh on him just because he’s the one who seemed to end up carrying them. He will blame himself for things that aren’t even his fault, and part of that is because with John taking a back seat in raising them emotionally, Dean (as we saw in the Christmas episode) carried all of that burden for raising Sam. So even if this is factually inaccurate even to what Dean actually SHOULD know, it’s that he’s had emotional blame on himself for everything way beyond what he’s responsible for, and by unloading everything, even Mary’s death, onto John, it’s not that John  _caused_  it, it’s that John should have, as their remaining parent, taken the emotional burden to protect the kids. Instead we get Dean having to be the one to tell Sam monsters are real and they killed Mary.

* * *

PS: I’m pretty sure somewhere in the gifsets I have queued for this episode is one talking about how they wanted JDM to do this and couldn’t get him so Jensen was the stand in, representing his self as ruined by John, which I think knowing this meta detail is actually  _more_  fantastic for understanding the scene - of course you get all that anyway in the subtext, but the idea of John literally saying these thing, and the idea of Dean being indistinguishable from him… Love it. :3

* * *

*waves at demon!Dean*

I think it’s especially interesting that in season 10 Dean lived knowing if this happened to him he would literally pop back up as a demon. This moment probably haunted him. 

* * *

But yeah, Dean rejects his fathers’ influence, and then Sam uses Jeremy’s father to get him, and as he beats Jeremy, demon!Dean gets up and advances on Dean - the implication being Dean’s words and epiphany weren’t strong enough, and this was all going to catch up with him anyway. Only Sam’s interference woke him up in time - but that interference was by having Jeremy killed (?) by his abusive father. Dean is still going to Hell and epiphany aside, the attitudes he’s trying to reject are core parts of Dean. It’s not a cure-all moment and the Dean mirror meets a grim end as a result.

* * *

Amazingly, that all took place in 5 minutes.

* * *

Oh! We see Sam and Bobby in the hotel corridor - it’s blue as well with another copy of the peacock painting on the wall.

No trees, but the same shape as the one that Dean walked down.

> BOBBY  
> So you did a little dream-weaving of your own in here, huh?
> 
> SAM  
> Yeah. I just sort of concentrated and it happened, you know?
> 
> BOBBY  
> Didn’t have anything to do with… you know, your psychic stuff?
> 
> SAM  
> No. I mean, I don’t think so.
> 
> BOBBY  
> Good. Good.

Weirdly high-pitched “good good” there. Bobby is totally worried.

* * *

Dean’s wearing blue and with his green eyes he matches the room colours. :D

* * *

WHOOPS EMPTY SAFE.

* * *

Lol lol lol good communication issues. Dean asks Sam what he saw and he can say “nothing” fairly easily since he actually didn’t, but when he asks Dean Dean’s like “Nah I was just looking for you”

* * *

Aww Dean sounds so sad when he says about not wanting to die. :( *wraps him in blankets*

Because, uh. 

He’s gonna die.

A lot.

Like, next episode.

* * *

Oh holy crap, I forgot the episode ended on that note. o.0 I was just casually making fun of Dean for dying and then…


	11. 3x11

Or: I stockpiled strawberry flavoured sweets to watch this while I wait for Sam to figure things out. :P

Honestly me and the Trickster are probably a lot alike. I too enjoy laughing at Sam’s suffering until it really isn’t funny any more and I feel bad.

* * *

I think the opening montage is way too long but also has to conceal the Trickster in it? So loads of random monsters, the djinn showing up as well..  _Nothing_  cracky. This episode might be hilarious to start with in a very dark way, but it’s not sold that way. :P Then all the backstory with demon!Dean from last episode, Bela stealing the Colt, and Ruby saying they need to get Sam ready for the war.

As a random exercise based off that last line, maybe I should watch it thinking about how the Trickster helps or hinders Ruby’s goal to prepare Sam. The implication is there she wants him to become like the scary Mystery Spot Sam, but the Trickster is offering a moral lesson to Sam to try and see what he would become and  _avoid_  it, except that Sam becomes it anyway and is utterly terrifying…

* * *

 _Heeeeat of the moment_.

> SAM  
> Dude. Asia?
> 
> DEAN  
> Come on. You love this song and you know it.
> 
> SAM  
> Yeah, and if I ever hear it again I’m gonna kill myself.

*winces* It is entirely possible Sam’s whole descent is because of this song.

I love the template day the best.

There’s still hope and happiness in Sam’s eyes and we get the longest look at Dean having some fun without it being darkly twisted by Sam being aware of his impending death.

TBH by the time they leave the motel Sam looks like he wants to kill Dean already himself.

* * *

Just noticed the partition in here - it’s shown up a few times - that I can remember well in 1x21, and 10x23. I’m just noticing for the first time it doesn’t just look like crosses - the vertical bars are offset a bit to literally make the crucifix shape.

Throw it into the pile of Jesus symbolism this season.

Bonus: the big planter of flowers which shows up in the background from time to time; in the changeling episode connected to Sam n Ruby’s later conversation - her designs on him fit right into this episode. 

Bonus bonus: Carver episode, plus American flag. Season 10 thing. :P

* * *

Hahaha Sam arguing passionately for the Mystery Spot being a real thing. Dean’s scepticism the first time I watched this made me honestly think for most of the episode until the Trickster reveal it might be actually something to do with the mystery spot punishing Dean.

* * *

(I love that shark)

For the ongoing themes of morality - the 3 monkeys are pretty hugely symbolic.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_wise_monkeys#Meaning_of_the_proverb](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FThree_wise_monkeys%23Meaning_of_the_proverb&t=N2ZlMDAwM2Y0MmRjN2E5MTE5MjhmMDA0MjVmMjg4ZWIxMTlkNjBhOCx0ZFlXOUxJYQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AEoTmUHpiEEiE91JGAXVv3Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Felizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124186230153%2Fspn-hellatus-rewatch-3x11-or-i-stockpiled&m=1)

> Just as there is disagreement about the origin of the phrase, there are differing explanations of the meaning of “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.”
> 
> In Buddhist tradition, the tenets of the proverb are about not dwelling on evil thoughts.[[3]  
> ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FThree_wise_monkeys%23cite_note-searching-3&t=N2ZkNzQxNzQyYzNhMjY5YzM2OGQwOGJkOTE1ZmU5NTM1YTQyZmY3Myx0ZFlXOUxJYQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AEoTmUHpiEEiE91JGAXVv3Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Felizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124186230153%2Fspn-hellatus-rewatch-3x11-or-i-stockpiled&m=1)In the Western world both the proverb and the image are often used to refer to a lack of moral responsibility on the part of people who refuse to acknowledge impropriety, [looking the other way](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FTurning_a_blind_eye&t=YTUyOWNhMjQxOTg0NGM5OGNlYjEyYzM4OGQxNTRhYWZlNmRiNzE3Yyx0ZFlXOUxJYQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AEoTmUHpiEEiE91JGAXVv3Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Felizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124186230153%2Fspn-hellatus-rewatch-3x11-or-i-stockpiled&m=1) or feigning ignorance.[[3]](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FThree_wise_monkeys%23cite_note-searching-3&t=N2ZkNzQxNzQyYzNhMjY5YzM2OGQwOGJkOTE1ZmU5NTM1YTQyZmY3Myx0ZFlXOUxJYQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AEoTmUHpiEEiE91JGAXVv3Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Felizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124186230153%2Fspn-hellatus-rewatch-3x11-or-i-stockpiled&m=1)[[12]  
> ](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FThree_wise_monkeys%23cite_note-Olesen-12&t=YmNjOGYwZTFlMzYwYzMzMDZiNzI1NjU4OGI1OTBkNmM2ZGMzZjBkNSx0ZFlXOUxJYQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AEoTmUHpiEEiE91JGAXVv3Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Felizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124186230153%2Fspn-hellatus-rewatch-3x11-or-i-stockpiled&m=1)It may also signify a [code of silence](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FCode_of_silence&t=MmU4YTg4ZDk3NWFmNjVhZGNkZjUyOTBlMjkwMTEyOTIwZGNmNzkwZix0ZFlXOUxJYQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AEoTmUHpiEEiE91JGAXVv3Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Felizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124186230153%2Fspn-hellatus-rewatch-3x11-or-i-stockpiled&m=1) in gangs, or [organised crime](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FMafia&t=ODQ4MzlhODQxM2QzNjMyNTZmMmIwZGZhNGRkNjNiNWExMjZjMDIyNCx0ZFlXOUxJYQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AEoTmUHpiEEiE91JGAXVv3Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Felizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124186230153%2Fspn-hellatus-rewatch-3x11-or-i-stockpiled&m=1).[[3]](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fen.wikipedia.org%2Fwiki%2FThree_wise_monkeys%23cite_note-searching-3&t=N2ZkNzQxNzQyYzNhMjY5YzM2OGQwOGJkOTE1ZmU5NTM1YTQyZmY3Myx0ZFlXOUxJYQ%3D%3D&b=t%3AEoTmUHpiEEiE91JGAXVv3Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Felizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124186230153%2Fspn-hellatus-rewatch-3x11-or-i-stockpiled&m=1)

Assuming this is the Western interpretation, I guess I’ll keep an eye out for stuff that fits, here and later. :P It’s definitely not too far off the collateral damage idea that this season they’re slipping in what standards they can hold up, so are turning a blind eye to some of the morals of what they find they have to do.

* * *

Hehe, Dean’s dead. 

His first death is a shotgun blast to the chest just like how he killed demon!Dean last epiode.

* * *

Gah the title card threw me. I was expecting the song immediately. 

For your first time viewer you have a 3 second break to think that this might be an ongoing thing with the consequences of Dean’s inglorious death, aaand

 _heeeeat of the moment_. 

* * *

*squints* No way, it’s Those Bedsheets. The ones from Faith and Houses of the Holy and possibly one or two other really plot important times. They even used different gold bedspreads in recent-ish episodes which looked kinda like them but weren’t. They’re super important for Dean’s ongoing struggles with faith, and Sam’s dark arc, if I remember correctly from my ramblings.

I’m always happy when I see little thematic things again and this episode gives plenty of time to re-examine the backgrounds. :P

* * *

Thinking about that, the flamingoes in their circles are behind Dean’s head for the lingering shots while he’s gargling, but mostly only glimpsed behind Sam when he wakes up. After 10x02 there was a lot of talk about the flamingoes from the bar there because they were connected to Dean with the whole gay bar vibe that place had, but then of course this episode is one of the strongest Sam episodes of the show, and so the flamingo symbolism connected to him immediately makes you think of the dark Sam from Mystery Spot. Which they wanted us to think in general with Sam’s characterisation around them and through season 10 as he got more desperate to save Dean in the season 3 mk ii feel of things.

* * *

I suppose they filmed all the variations at once, but imagine if you somehow got all the takes of all the entrances to the diner muddled up, and you just had to guess from how Sam was gurning if it was an outtake where Jared was just pulling faces or if it was meant to be Sam looking increasingly distressed…

* * *

I’m just watching and laughing.

Poor Dean. 

 _Heeeeat of the moment_.

* * *

Yeah it’s getting much more washed out already and we’re only on the 3rd cycle.

* * *

I love how the summary of this morning is Sam’s >:| as he watches Dean gargle and pig in a poke and back to the new conversation.

* * *

Pretty sure they just filmed the dog once, but the poor guys with the furniture have to do the Pulitzer line over again because the camera pans from them to fresh conversation between the boys.

* * *

Dean’s realisation as he stops laughing about how he almost dies as realises Sam just saved himself another pointless repeat of the cycle. Ouchies. :P

* * *

I think the great/worst thing is showing Sam huuuugely concerned because obviously he is having the worst day of his life over and over, but for everyone else, including Dean but highlighted by the interview with the owner of the Mystery Spot, Sam is cracking and having a meltdown over nothing. Even when Dean understands that he  _has_  died a couple of times, it’s still kinda funny to him because he is still alive and can’t know what it’s like to have gone through something he doesn’t remember.

Putting it on Sam this way, though, shows just how his season-long arc feels/looks even to the viewer who can get frustrated alongside Sam here as we know exactly what’s happening to Dean/will happen to Dean, and so Sam’s struggle for the season which can get lost in the general monster hunting/the fact we can’t see anything wrong with Dean yet/the fact there’s at least a little viewer confidence on the first viewing that Dean MIGHT be saved because they wouldn’t do that, would they? It’s not just giving Sam this experience - it’s giving us a microcosm where we get to feel as frustrated about saving Dean - where we are agreeing with Sam getting angry and confused by this when no one else is.

* * *

Dean, honey, please don’t stand there.

* * *

I saw Jared glance up.

* * *

*splat*

* * *

I never liked the way the feet stuck out the bottom because it is far from accurate about The Bowlegs.

* * *

Sam’s hair is looking more and more dishevelled as well. I guess he’s definitely not interested in showering.

* * *

Not going to lie, I’m amazed he never had a heart attack from this breakfast but choked instead:

* * *

It’s Sam’s turn to ALMOST wonder if Dean is joking before he realises that Dean is actually choking.

* * *

Now Dean is banned from showering too. His hair looks flat and messy while he eats his Death Tacos.

Capital letter emphasis because WHY NOT tin hat Death and tacos from 7 years adrift? :P

*quiet noises of season 3 mk ii alike in crack as in plot*

* * *

*is giggling WAY too hard about the only canonical time a Winchester has actually killed another Winchester*

The run of random motel deaths I think were just to encourage Sam to actually step out again because it’s pointless, so if he takes a few 3 minutes days before he gets the message, then he’ll learn he’ll be stuck in the cycle even more by fighting it by not participating.

…

But his sad little “Oh no” after he accidentally murders Dean with an axe.

*cracks up into my sleeve about the Worst Tragedy On The Show*

* * *

I MEAN DEAN JUST GOT A RANDOM BLOOD SPLATTER FROM OFF-SCREEN. FRATRICIDE! PROBABLY SOMEWHERE FULFILMENT OF DOOMY PROPHECY OF BROTHER V BROTHER, CAIN V ABEL! ALL THE SHOW’S BIGGEST THEMES!

…

“Oh no.”

* * *

Heeey, Trickster! I don’t think the camera has actually lingered on him there yet, but there he is with his syrup in background of this shot. 

*quietly eats more strawberry flavoured sweets*

* * *

Teehee, the implication that Doris somehow implausibly shot Dean with a bow and arrow.

I’m guessing that was last cycle’s death.

* * *

Honestly the fact he never died by the swordfish on the wall…

He probs did.

* * *

Heeey Dean breaks the pattern.

Sam vs Destiny and Dean vs Destiny - Sam is utterly helpless to this pattern, but on this exhausted cycle, he brings Dean up to speed in such a way he  _finally_  - probably by EMPHASISING how the pattern had BECOME a sort of destiny he was doomed to in so many words - triggered Dean to do something to break the pattern. Like, because he told Dean there was one, Dean immediately thought of doing something he hadn’t done before when he didn’t know he was in a pattern.

It’s very consistent, this Sam being the wonky wheel of Team Free Will thing.

* * *

Dean, do NOT pet that dog.

* * *

*sigh* Dean vs dogs goes from a few small moments to serious. Of course, that’s Hellhound foreshadowing there.

Are we almost done with Dean’s Tuesday deaths now? It’s interesting that if so (I can’t remember if there’s one more iteration before we find the Trickster) we go from the shotgun blast from last episode to his end of season death.

Of course that’s not super mysterious given you know it’s coming so Dean vs dogs subtext was valid foreshadowing that it might happen.

Hmm.

I’m still conflicted if this was meant to foreshadow Sam saving Dean or not, because the warning was SO stark about what would happen if he died and then it went and happened and lo and behold Sam snapped.

* * *

Oh, nope, STRAWBERRY. I SEE STRAWBERRY.

The Trickster knows he’s been made. :P

Wait a minute.

Sam’s doing the case as normal, but properly - this is Groundhog Day, where in the movie he actually does the day perfectly as a nice guy and manages to make it through at last: in the original iteration Sam wasn’t exactly bad at the day until Dean died and of course the Trickster has ulterior motives, BUT I think it’s significant that Sam is pretending Dean hasn’t died a load of times yet and has just started researching the case properly and using his time to sort it out - after all those days where his only focus was on saving Dean, he completely ditched the reason for even being in town. So right now (ah, like, 20 minutes into the episode ;)) it looks like a light at the end of the tunnel ending where Sam figured out the true meaning of Christmas and - wait that was earlier this season (*narrows eyes at Carver*) well, he *appears to* come to a realisation about doing the job, and he’s trying to do it in good spirits and get to the bottom of things: he has some hope… Yes, that doing it properly can save Dean, but he’s breaking out of the cycle by, if this was a “normal” (if there can be such thing) Groundhog Day story, he’d have finally aced it and learned a lesson - a first season style lesson about the need to do the job and stuff, all those themes about saving people and nonsense.

Of course, the theme of this season is saving  _Dean_  in particular and there’s something much bigger at work, but narratively at this moment, unless you were counting ad breaks or something, you’d have this moment where you, like Sam, feel like he’s about to break out of the loop…

(well, he does, but…)

* * *

To break character for a moment and look at the wider scheme and later canon, I’m interested in the contrast to Changing Channels where Gabriel wants them to play their roles and get it over and done with after they started it. At this point, he’s trying to get Sam to apparently break destiny and  _not_  do the thing, in opposition to that, because while there’s still a chance of maintaining status quo, it rests on Sam not being driven down the dark path. Not sure in the present time of season 3 [they knew this was Gabriel] they had the season 4 arc specifically mapped out (especially as I don’t know where they finally knew they couldn’t save Dean)…

Anyway, for Sam vs Destiny, this episode is the worst because the Trickster doesn’t even see him break the mini destiny he set up for him, and then Sam goes off and does everything anyway in the actual big destiny.

Wonky wheel. :P

* * *

The colour actually seems to come back a little as Sam gets all excited about the case.

And then Dean says “just desserts” and you can  _see_  the words echoing around in Sam’s head.

* * *

*eats more strawberry candy*

Wait, does Dean know that he was in a time loop or not that iteration? I know Sam barely cares about keeping it a secret, but they go from investigating the case and Sam brushing off how he had the time to do all the research and talk to the daughter to Sam saying the thing about the past 100 Tuesdays and nothing ever changes except me.

* * *

Oooh, he has his murder eyes on that morning. Dean didn’t even die - the Trickster just reset it? Or we assume they never found him and Dean died again.

* * *

Mr Trickster is back to normal syrup.

* * *

Hehe, another example of Sam being violent seemingly without any context to Dean’s eyes. Again, I feel like this point should be emphasised for season 10 - not that we didn’t have motivation there, but it still seemed a little abstract - people were arguing a lot about how he did or didn’t see Dean getting worse, based on the examples DEAN gave of his behaviour in front of Sam. Yet this episode is the best insight we ever get into Sam’s revenge rage mindset, and his sheer helplessness in the face of saving Dean or averting destiny. I’m not saying it’s all completely to blame on emotional scarring from the Trickster - more like this is a microcosm to show up the existing character traits, which we’ve already seen whispers of through the show and stronger in this season. 

Season 3 in general has Dean putting on a brave face, and this episode in particular has Dean genuinely unaware of his impending death every morning and it’s up to Sam to tell him or not, and Dean is totally on the back foot and out of narrative leverage (except for that time Sam told him there was a destiny afoot). I guess Dean not being clear or open ever about how he felt in season 10 except for some very rare moments led Sam to the exact same thing: Dean is in trouble, he needs to be saved, and to Sam’s eyes, he’s helpless narratively (by turning away from certain cures or just endlessly parroting how he goes down swinging) and so Sam is caught in all sorts of cycles, lashing out to do things to save Dean. To him, the motivation and end goal is clear… From the outside, there’s a lot to fight about.

* * *

I’m just giggling about how Sam hasn’t had a shower in over 100 days.

* * *

> SAM  
> No! There’s only one creature powerful enough to do what you’re doing. Making reality out of nothing, sticking people in time loops—in fact you’d pretty much have to be a god. You’d have to be a Trickster

Oooh so close Sam. SO CLOSE.

(well real Tricksters probably are similar, especially if they’re on the level of (actual)Loki or Anansi, but…)

* * *

> MAN  
> Mister, my name is Ed Coleman, my wife’s name is Amelia, I got two kids, for crying out loud I sell ad space— 

Pfft. Another Amelia. And AD SPACE.

*Jimmy side-eyeing him* *all the other random Amelias up and down canon nodding in agreement*

What is with Amelias? Is there just an Amelia they really like so they keep using her name?

Anyway the Jimmy parallel is most direct with the whole ad time/Amelia thing, so I guess that’s the go-to story for a hum drum human life connected to an angel? :P

* * *

I think the Trickster waited for Sam to say something that would have the best chance for a funny rebuttal before revealing who he was.

(Like in 9x18, Metatron waiting for the opportune moment to make a quip when he showed up… Metatron who studied Gabriel’s early work intently.)

* * *

Dean just like “How the hell did you work that out?” in the background.

Haha, and Dean still concerned about the original case because it was only yesterday for him.

* * *

> TRICKSTER  
> One, yes. It is fun. And two? This is so not about killing Dean. This joke is on you, Sam. Watching your brother die, every day? Forever?  
>   
> SAM  
> You son of a bitch.  
>   
> TRICKSTER  
> How long will it take you to realize? You can’t save your brother. No matter what.  
>   
> SAM  
> Oh yeah? I kill you, this all ends now. 

I’m guessing this is where the Trickster realises the message really isn’t sinking in. He COULD keep doing this forever, but it’s clear Sam isn’t going to meaningfully move on… Time for a harder lesson. :P

* * *

Sam’s really getting good at sitting up in bed pulling a D: face.

* * *

I think Sam’s had a shower? His hair actually looked fluffy?

Except that now it’s wet in the rain.

Aww Sam squeezing his eyes shut waiting to hear  _heeeeat of the moment_. No such luck, mate.

* * *

*six months later*

Sam driving with a doomy red light behind him. 

I like how Bobby is re-introduced through all these concerned phone calls. Right after Dream a Little Dream, where he and Dean got suddenly paired up so closely as a father son dynamic, with Sam well on the side. Now Bobby is trying to get through to Sam, but Sam is not answering.

*skips backwards to compare Dean’s messy Baby with Sam’s John-esque trunk*

  


There’s a lot of upgrades in there - not just bigger knives but look at the difference in the cross. Dean’s one is the simple sort of wooden cross he always has - like in his room in season 8 onwards as well, while Sam somehow felt the need to upgrade to one that is shiny and expensive and with a lil Jesus on it and everything. Dean’s also got the dream catcher and the string of those (Turkish?) eye beads (I have one because of a friend’s mum bringing it back from Turkey so I just assume they’re from there :P They’re an all-seeing eye that wards off evil by looking in all directions for you) Then even Sam’s random lucky amulets are perfectly round coins embedded in the foam as part of the design of it. 

(And he’s randomly got John’s shuriken that made his trunk so hilarious :P)

But there’s a lot of weapons missing from Sam’s trunk - John’s was fully stocked, Sam’s is full of empty holes where there should be something. 

(Someone :P)

* * *

But Sam keeps wearing the brown hoodie even like this.

Okay he has a much more grim shirt for sitting around eating his lonely dinner.

And cleaning his gun with it pointed directly at him.

Yikes his mood board is freakishly neat too. No one else has laid out their information so neatly - John was way more up Dean’s street of just throw everything up on the wall and hope for the best. Sam’s chilling revenge mood board looks like he’s going to present it to the CEO before he gets the project approved. :P

* * *

Bobby gives Sam a hug and Sam gives Cas a run for his money at being the worst hugger on the show. He’s found a horrible yellow shirt as well. :P

(I know Bobby is the Trickster but still. We have an example where Bobby is reaching out to Sam and Sam rejects it - and will kill him over getting Dean back… I know Bobby doesn’t know about this and won’t remember it and it’s possible all the voice over WAS the Trickster keeping tabs on Sam as Bobby (makes sense this is a pocket universe with no real Bobby, because there’s no Ruby interference either - we hear about Sam doing hunts, but he’s weirdly isolated from the main plot, which would have still been going on, especially as he and not Dean is a main player with the wider picture, and Dean’s just got the personal concern with his deal), but still… I wonder if when Sam has Dean back, there’s some reluctance to reach out around Bobby because of the memory of this - horror perhaps at himself - and so Sam doesn’t bond so well with Bobby, perpetuating the way Dean ends up his favourite?)

Considering that statement was made I am curious about tracking Sam n Bobby’s relationship as on the surface just skimming through the episodes they are actually less antagonistic with each other than Dean n Bobby, and generally seem OK.

* * *

Ooh, they’re doing this in front of the monkeys.

* * *

> BOBBY  
> You break my heart, kid.  
>   
> SAM  
> What?  
>   
> BOBBY  
> I’m not gonna let you murder an innocent man.  
>   
> SAM  
> Then why’d you bring me here?  
>   
> BOBBY  
> Why? Because it was the only way you’d see me! Because I’m trying to knock some sense into you! Because I thought you’d back down from killing a man!  
>   
> SAM  
> Well, you thought wrong. Leave the stuff, I’ll do it myself. 

TBH if we’d had Bobby still, he’d have probably stopped 10x23 happening. :P He tried to warn Sam! :O I know, no one cared about Seth (except Rowena :P) but still, he was sort of just some random guy… (Admittedly immortal and therefore probably due dying since he’d be outside his natural time anyway… But still! :P) I think it’s interesting the spell the Trickster makes up calls for this specific sacrifice of blood, and it mirrors the end of season 10. Season 10 is basically the darkest timeline of season 3 (har har darkest).

Ah, then the Trickster probably breaks character a little to try and push Sam to see how far he’d go:

> SAM  
> You’re crazy, Bobby. I’m not killing you.  
>   
> BOBBY  
> Oh, now I’m the crazy one. Look, Sam, I’m old, I’m coming near the end of my trail. But you can keep fighting. Saving folk. But you need your brother. Let me get him back to you.  
>   
> SAM  
> Bobby—  
>   
> BOBBY  
> You and Dean, you boys are the closest thing I have to family. I wanna do this. 

It’s eliciting a sympathy reaction from Sam and challenging him to trade a nearest and dearest for another but it’s still using language to make him want to do it by saying it’s okay and that he can. Possibly the Trickster was a little unnerved by how Sam would so EASILY pick Dean over a random civilian, like, yep, let’s do this, not even thinking at all about the consequences.

So he steps up the game by putting Bobby in the line of fire. And I think it’s that that makes Sam realise this is the Trickster and not Bobby?

Honestly, he could have gone a step further - the one we saw in 10x19 - where Werther challenged Sam to bleed  _himself_  out for the chance to save Dean. (Which also had an illusionary version of someone challenging him to do it, but in this case there was genuine risk of harm to Sam, and the illusionary Rowena wouldn’t have cared about him if she HAD been the real thing.)

~theeeeemes~

Season 3 mk ii strikes again. :P

* * *

The worst part is that if Sam had waited like a couple more months (and this wasn’t a pocket dimension) Cas would have yoinked Dean out of Hell and saved them all the trouble. :P

* * *

Well the Trickster certainly  _wants_  Sam to think he just killed Bobby for a little while.

* * *

Oh, hey! The Trickster has that shirt! The one from Scarecrow and Hell House. I guess it knocked around in the costume department until they found a good cause for it.

So the fact Sam has a similar white shirt with red patterns and the Trickster is wearing this one is actually significant… I am asking myself if I made a point of screencapping it in those re-watches because I remembered this in the back of my mind. :P

*duly screencaps it just for completion’s sake*

* * *

I feel like the fact the shirt is linked to pagan god episode and tupla episode is somehow significant to this character. :P

* * *

> TRICKSTER  
> You’re right. I was just screwing with you. Pretty good, though, Sam. Smart. Let me tell you, whoever said Dean was the dysfunctional one has never seen you with a sharp object in your hands. Holy Full Metal Jacket. 

Ah man his cheerful flippant way of casually shrugging off the most terrifying Sam has ever been. I shouldn’t be laughing.

This entire episode is an exercise in “I shouldn’t be laughing” not least because it gets REALLY GRIM and every death from the very start is psychologically traumatising for Sam. :P

* * *

> TRICKSTER  
> This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? Nothing good comes out of it. Just blood and pain. Dean’s your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too. It’s gonna be the death of you, Sam. Sometimes you just gotta let people go. 

He has the look of someone staring down the apocalypse, I’m not going to lie. :P My hindsight goggles are so firmly on no matter how I try to look at him as just the Trickster. Given my angel tinhatting is already up to 11 this season, I’m just going to go with they knew he was going to be plot important later, and this warning was deadly serious, and his choice to get involved was for grander reasons. He didn’t  _just_  see Sam n Dean rolling into town and randomly decide to teach this lesson. He’s clearly been keeping an eye.

I’d guess this warning about “the bad guys know it” is for Ruby since she’s been exploiting said weakness all season to try and sneak into Sam’s good books.

Anyway, not like this theme isn’t wildly relevant for the rest of the show. 

* * *

I like how even at the end Dean keeps on parroting his lines from the other Wednesday, without realising he’d said these things before. 

* * *

Made it with an hour to spare before the end of my own Wednesday! Woohoo!

If I hadn’t got so talkative about last episode I could have done this on a Tuesday. :P Oh well. :3

*wanders off still eating strawberry candy*


	12. 3x12

Or: I mean, at this point, did they even remember Henrikson was still looking for them?

* * *

I can not believe how many random episodes they sneaked Bela and/or Ruby in for 3 second cameos. :P Hunting Bela has actually become the main plot (mostly because they think they need the Colt to help not just with demons in general but shooting whatever one has Dean’s deal, and since they have no leads on that, chasing after Bela is as good as a main plotline) and this episode actually has a pretty good structure where it starts with that, and then organically drags in a season 2 plotline that needs wrapping up (sort of comes out of nowhere, sort of feels inevitable, sort of makes you ask how comes it didn’t happen sooner :P), and then drags in the other main plotline with Ruby and Lilith out of nowhere later in the episode. 

It feels like it should be way more cluttered than it is but it’s like the third or fourth episode of the season where I’ve been left blinking like “wow I had no memory of Bela and/or Ruby being in this episode.” In this case, totally caught off guard by Bela kicking off events, and the ongoing plotline with that actually running through for 3 episodes in a row. 

Season 3 is way more cohesive than I remember it being anyway, although this is the last episode before the Writers’ Strike.

* * *

Bela wearing her red coat and driving while on the phone to them is a lot like how they crammed her into the Gordon episode. Probably not filmed at the same time. :P She seems to have spent 90% of season 3 doing it though.

* * *

How did Bela know that Dean was going to be the one to answer the phone anyway? Maybe just assumed that he’d take charge over letting Sam do it.

* * *

The towel or whatever she has it on has initials on it - are they just from the hotel she was staying at, or..? (It says MR) Also why IS the gun on a towel? 

Bela driving along saying she’s way more complex than they think is lit by red light - demon deeeealls.

* * *

Hi Victor! (Since Sam n Dean are too rude to say hi)

* * *

Aw man the stuff with them talking about how Dean is a monster in front of Nancy, and she clutches her rosary (all the Catholic imagery on her desk!)… 

> HENRIKSEN: The most dangerous criminals you’ve ever laid your eyeballs on. Think Hannibal Lecter and his half-wit little brother. 

It’s interesting how Dean’s always been the forefront of these things (pretty much by accident in Nightshifter but even stuff like taping his confession in Usual Suspects to give Sam a chance to get away and being the one to talk to the lawyer in Folsom Prison Blues) and so this far down the line Victor is fixated on Dean and totally overlooks Sam. I don’t even remember the fine details of this episode but I know he and Dean continue to spark off each other way more… Can’t remember if he ever has a chance to meaningfully overlook Sam since he’s still getting to grips with Dean and their relationship is a focus of the episode…

ANYWAY when Sam and Dean are brought in we’re shown that Sam notices Nancy’s name and that she’s scared of them while Dean is sassing the police officers and Victor, yet it’s Dean who addresses Nancy by name, meaning he caught it somewhere in there while apparently distracted (he’s apparently really good at scoping out a room?) but it’s Sam who seems to have the visceral reaction to her wariness of him and clutching at her rosary on the desk - he’s the one who’s been told he’s the anti-Christ on and off all season… Interesting that the moment seems to be between Sam n Nancy but it’s Dean who calls out to her.

* * *

And then right to Sam and Dean being doofuses about being chained together. *tension breaks* :P

I’m really sad about Dean’s trousers:

Sam’s got proper hems but I don’t know wtf is up with Dean’s hems - they’re scruffy all the way around like he took a pair of Sam’s jeans and just hacked off the extra 10 inches at the bottom he’d lose from not being so tall. :P 

The Dean Winchester aesthetic is pretty subtle but there’s a lot to it. Just thinking of the personal touch we take for granted in the boot of the car compared to how Sam had it in the other darkest timeline last episode. 

Like… it’s just really fitting that he’s all frayed and Sam’s hems are pretty decent still.

* * *

The things you think when you’re on your 30th outing though an episode.

* * *

Huh, first they had the jail cleared of a random other prisoner who was drunk and disorderly, and then the scenes are set between the local office and the FBI headquarters uses the posters on the walls - a local escaped convict woman paralleled to another look at Dean’s FBI profile (Sam’s too but it’s sort of underneath and half-covered in evidence. Again the focus on Dean… Again Dean linked however quietly to a female counterpart :P as well as a drunk old man I dunno. I’m typing while enjoying Victor on screen. :P)

* * *

He’s come to gloat at Sam and Dean but his focus is on Dean too - now I kind of get why they did that shuffled awkward dance to spin themselves around - Dean’s much closer to the door and Sam kind of sinks into the background, for the ongoing Dean/Victor thing.

You know, in context, the “we don’t swing that way” thing sounds 100% like Dean making up a fake attempt at fending off an implication Victor bagged him and Sam  _together_  for his own kinky amusement, i.e. implying Victor’s got this erotic fantasy about Sam and Dean in chains, and Dean’s saying they are so not into that. Like, all those times people drag out that quote, how often do they ever look at the “we” in it, or the context of the scene where Victor says he has  _them_  in chains? 

I’m just saying, this is nothing to do with Dean’s sexuality and everything to do with insulting Victor by implying he’s a creep and denying he and Sam are fucking in the same breath. :P

> HENRIKSEN: Oh, yeah. I forgot. You fight monsters. Sorry, Dean. Truth is, your daddy brainwashed you with all that devil talk and no doubt touched you in a bad place. That’s all. That’s reality.
> 
> DEAN: Why don’t you shut your mouth?
> 
> HENRIKSEN: Well, guess what. Life sucks. Get a helmet. ‘Cause everybody’s got a sob story. But not everybody becomes a killer.

(Sam also has been disengaged from the scene while Dean and Victor are exchanging words but as Victor says that part about John, Sam sits up again and joins in glaring directly at Victor.)

So Victor lashes back by implying JOHN was a creep and a sexual abuser, based off an inaccurate profile (because the monsters thing just comes under a psychosis diagnosis until he knows the truth and so the profilers will have been adding things up to look for where the mental break came from). I think it’s one of those “John was never that bad so we have that to be thankful for” moments like in Nightmare, where Sam and Dean are rallied to his defence by a comparison to the more obvious forms of abuse: their childhood of neglect and emotional trauma is easier to defend when in contrast to the mistaken idea of their childhood Victor has.

Interesting to contrast his “not everyone becomes a killer” line with how all the hunters have sob stories - as established with Bobby quite recently but an ongoing theme - they all become killers because something terrible has happened to them: hunting seems to near universally start with a sob story and revenge.

* * *

[slight 3 hour pause to fight off an army of invading ants that took over my bathroom - continuing with headache and fatigue, normal disclaimers apply after a handful of episodes where I was somewhat coherent. Ugh. >.>]

* * *

… I think I was going to say something else about what we don’t know about Bela yet and the back and forth she and Dean exchanged about their fathers, re: abuse in this season.

Still deeply troubled by how Sam looked up so quickly when Victor said it, but I think it was just to John’s defence.

* * *

Is Dean wearing the plaid/jacket combination he died in in 9x23? It’s too dark.

* * *

Something tells me our first demon showed up?

Now did they plant a demon in the FBI because there was the ongoing Winchester investigation? 

I dunno, I don’t trust a guy who smirkingly hands over a whole bunch of paperwork.

Nancy found it pretty funny though.

* * *

Oops yeah the door is closed, this guy is a demon.

* * *

Surprisingly, the guy was a demon and Dean got shot. Ouchies.

Aaand loads of people are dead. Wow.

Is… anyone at all concerned about Dean bleeding out? I’m concerned about Dean. :P

…

I’m always concerned about Dean.

* * *

Victor manages to take control, and actually stops to ask how Nancy is doing. Good. :3

* * *

Okay Sam actually was trying to stop Dean bleeding to death. You know if he got shot through the shoulder it might not be the same shirt?

He tends to have generic clothes. :P

* * *

Aww Nancy is peering at them. Sam remembers her name too. 

Dean’s “we’re not the bad guys” smile is so cute but also kinda useless… Well, Nancy gets them a towel anyway.

…

Wow, Sam. Could have just asked nicely. No need to TERRORISE her.

Doesn’t he fall down on the side of “lol okay sacrifice her” for Ruby’s spell later? I mean we literally just did Mystery Spot - caring about her opinion of them isn’t high on his list and caring about her life vs the greater good… Hm.

Well, at least in this case it is the greater good *muttering  _greater good_ * (APPARENTLY I just make Hot Fuzz references now) and not just for the sake of getting Dean back.

Anyway, Sam goes into his scary survival mode and freaks Nancy out just to steal her rosary - he’s getting the towel to help Dean with the gunshot wound and actually almost compromises that to grab the rosary too, getting a weapon to help them in their fight. 

* * *

> DEAN: It’s kind of wild, right? I mean it’s like they’re coming for us. They’ve never done that before. (DEAN smiles) It’s like we got a contract on us. Think it’s because we’re so awesome? I think it’s ‘cause we’re so awesome. (He smiles again, but stops smiling after SAM looks at him, unamused) 

The notes on their behaviour really don’t do Sam’s >:| face justice.

I love how Dean is kind of excited by being notorious - like yeah it’s a grim situation but they’re apparently ranked so dangerous (even without the Colt) that a whole army of demons is coming for them.

Very bad time and a place to be drawing validation, Dean.

* * *

Dean says “howdy” to the sheriff and yeah the worst joke of the show is sneakily set up. 

By worst I mean best.

And by that I mean the crushing inevitability of it is like being stomped on.

I like how conveniently 2 of the more sympathetic background characters come rushing in to see the exorcism to save time on explaining everything.

Sam asks if it is Henrikson in there or not. Um, you were the one who literally just exorcised him… You should KNOW.

*winces* They give us so LONG so you can just see Dean working it through and thinking  _nah_  but then  _come on he used the exact line_  and then  _I’m gonna say it_  *says it*  _nailed it_

*Sam makes the >:| face at Dean* Thanks Sam. :P

Going to have that song stuck in my head for the rest of the week now. Thanks Dean.

* * *

Anyway, I assume Victor goes and washes the toilet water off his face and we cut to the first time we see them draw a devil’s trap with spray paint! Woo! Unsurprisingly, it’s Sam, who’s very good at circles.

* * *

Nancy being way more useful than the dudes by knowing first aid and where the salt is.

* * *

Dean makes a slightly reckless run out to the car.

This seems like a bad idea.

I can’t remember this exact part but tell me I’m wrong.

OH LOOK DEMONS.

DEAN MOVE YOUR BUTT.

Oh my god.

* * *

Never not funny when the demon smacks up against the glass. 

Once when I was at work a bird smacked into the window of the tower block. That was slightly less fun.

* * *

It seems their salting seemed to be good enough! The building holds out against the first brutal assault.

* * *

Aw, Dean and Victor. 

> HENRIKSEN: Plus you got nothing to go home to but your brother.
> 
> DEAN: Yeah. (nods) What about you? You rockin’ the white picket fence?
> 
> HENRIKSEN: Mmm-mm. Empty apartment, string of angry ex-wives. I’m right where you are. (chuckles)
> 
> DEAN: Imagine that.

This is played pretty straight (heh) and I’m wondering since this is a Gamble episode if this is more Dean x Lisa stuff - she sneaked her into the Dream episode after all. I don’t think this is saying at all that Dean  _wants_  the picket fence, not exactly, but it’s implying there’s a hole in his life, which Sam  _doesn’t_  fill - when I say played straight I was only laughing a bit at the sexuality implications, I meant more like it’s a pretty honest moment where Dean has been kind of cheeky to Victor in a much more friendly way, but after the lines right before this things get a little more serious and they’re quite emotionally honest at this point. So it reads to me as a pretty significant admission, that Dean  _isn’t_  getting his emotional needs fulfilled, and relates to a guy who’s got  _no_  significant relationships in his life. Obviously not a clear cut parallel because Dean does have Sam, but… maybe it’s just because season 3 is Dean facing up to never having more than this; like with season 10 making him cast his eyes on a future he doubted he’d have.

Which, of course, I probably should have mentioned the lines immediately preceding this were…

> DEAN: Honestly? I think the world’s gonna end bloody. But it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t fight. We do have choices. I choose to go down swingin’. 

… basically Dean’s catchphrase from season 10 and I’m so tired of hearing that phrase come out of his mouth ugh I just skipped right past it until my rambling made me realise I should mention it. :P

Anyway I think it’s interesting that Gamble ran with this subtext of Dean x Lisa - even really just using it as a way to explore Dean’s headspace through the season and making it all, as in the dream episode, about Dean’s idealised idea of her and what she represents as this thing which he can’t have, and perhaps that he feels he should, if he lived life as normal people do. And then in season 6 she had the opportunity to explore this idea again, but actually broke it down and showed how it  _wasn’t_  the ideal that Dean was dreaming of - even when Lisa was basically perfect in the scenarios she was thrown into by her relationship with Dean it couldn’t work out and came to show that all this dreaming was for nothing.

Considering his return to Lisa in season 5 pretty much out of the blue is criticised for that randomness by some people, I think it’s also important to just look at how ongoing this was - I suppose after Dream we can basically say that Dean has definitely internalised the vague idea of endgame/picket fence/settling down/whatever as having Lisa’s face, so even if she isn’t mentioned again until late-ish season 5, season 3′s whole length alludes to her in the background (if only once more on screen) and so when Dean dies he has already established Lisa as the what if or reward for  _not_  dying…

* * *

Heh, Dean’s “Oh no, Ruby” face.

* * *

She really does literally drop into the story.

* * *

Is there just a random bagel on the table in that little break room that Ruby broke into?

* * *

Jensen’s being pretty good at acting the busted shoulder and being all intense. Meanwhile Sam walks into the scene, realises Ruby’s about to bust him for something, and has a confused moment of panic trying to find something to awkwardly lean on before assuming his more neutral/angry expression for Serious Plot Stuff. I’m giggling.

* * *

They have the worst poker faces about the Colt. Here’s a thought: Ruby looking for Bela for them. They neeeever interact.

…

I just imagine them taking 2 seconds to size each other up and then becoming BFFs. 

* * *

I wonder if Ruby’s spell is anything like the demon bombs Kevin found out how to make at the start of season 8? Not in ingredients, but the virgin sacrifice is pretty powerful to make up for not having specific ingredients. Like, to get the equivalent power level you have to find a lot of random magical stuff to throw together that you could do in minutes with the right blood spilled.

* * *

Thinking of Crowley, it was implied Bela gave the Colt to Lilith this season but in season 5 it was retconned to Crowley for the sake of his introduction, right? Per the random scene that showed up in the books? It would make sense Crowley was a mover and shaker in this season (as I’ve rambled about before when the Crossroads Demon was on screen :P) and obviously cutting extra off-screen demons they’d only alluded to a couple of times makes sense when they don’t have time to show them, but even though I’m all for the female characters having a powerful narrative all on their own, I’m just really intrigued about pre-introduction Crowley’s influence. :P Because if Bela is bringing it to him to break her deal (because she was better connected than the others and knew about the order of the food chain, she’d find out he had her deal especially since Lilith was not a crossroads demon and Bela was never important enough to the grand scheme for it to make sense later that anyone but Crowley would be the final say on her deal) then that makes a pretty interesting thought about the power dynamics…

I can’t remember if Bela is ordered to kill them just by whoever has her deal, or by Lilith: whichever way around implies some seniority - I’m not totally sure but I think Bela does say it was Lilith?

Maybe a thought to leave aside for now.

Anyway, I’m choosing to believe there’s more than a few cross-purposes here. Ruby is opposing Lilith here and committed to a suicidal spell in order to save them: I really believe her loyalty is ALL Sam in this season and like the theory I read somewhere about this (ugh it’s late and I’m a mess after the bug incident :P) that Lilith dragged Ruby onto her side (whether through better education on the subject of raising Lucifer and Sam’s part in it or just by forceful coercion, although Ruby seemed pretty sold on her task still so I’d lean towards the former FOR ONCE). Then we have Bela and Crowley working together, at cross purposes to Sam n Dean on the human side and Lilith on the demonic side. 

I’m really just spewing out theories without remembering the end of the season very well.

For what it’s worth I still like my theory we might have seen a season 3 iteration of Crowley towards the end if they hadn’t gone from having like 10 more episodes after this to wrap up to 4.

* * *

Ah, Nancy’s vulnerability to sacrificial magic… This is one of those things where I’m torn about the thematic relevance of using her to cram in a load of Jesus imagery via her desk and the convenience of her having a rosary, and musing on how virgin sacrifices are a good way to get in asexual representation. (Or both, both is good :P) but on the other hand *shrugs* wouldn’t expect it from this show or handled brilliantly, considering Dean is baffled enough at her stated choice (not, like, statement of just how she is - she makes a point of saying it’s a choice). Meanwhile the show IS good at cramming in symbolism so Nancy’s role is interesting enough to make up for this. :P (Plus they all die anyway so. I don’t even know what we should be asking for from this show any more tbh. :P)

(unrelated to my grousing: I use an ace character in one of my own stories to be threatened with the sacrifice and she finds it totally unfair that not only is she vulnerable, but one of her friends panic pops her cherry in the aftermath of no one getting murdered by cultists and my main character is huffily like  _yeah well good for you some of us are going to stay at risk for life if we have any say in what we want_. Ironically she ends up nearly sacrificed by cultists AGAIN a few books down the line but for totally unrelated reasons, so I guess no one’s owed a told you so about that. *casually spoiling my series and hoping I don’t get super famous and then someone links me to that writer and then says ‘oh I remember that summer she re-watched all of SPN and in 3x12 spoiled the plot of like 3 books in one go, guess Ally’s gonna be almost murdered by cultists again soon wow thanks Lizzy’*)

* * *

Nancy is so eager and helpful without knowing what she’s signed up for. And then stunned but she gets over it so quickly and asks if her friends outside will be okay. :( Aw man, she’s so brave… I suppose this really IS like (trickster!)Bobby offering himself as the sacrifice to bring Dean back last episode, because he made a similar speech about how it was totally cool to do it if it would help. 

Interesting that the spell is NOT like the demon bombs, which destroyed the meatsuit along with the demon - this vaporises the demon but theoretically leaves the victim unharmed. Which is interesting that Sam’s demon killing power still damaged the meatsuit enough to kill it every time. 

Perhaps it’s the purity of the sacrifice that saves the people?

I don’t know.

* * *

That chilling moment when you realise everyone’s been arguing and the camera hasn’t landed on Sam in ages and when it does he doesn’t say anything at all, but that in itself is enough to suggest he’s busy weighing the pros and cons of this and is almost scared to say out loud that he agrees with Ruby. Trickster’s Choice again, Sam. What are you going to pick in the not-quite-darkest-timeline? 

Dean is completely freaked out by the way this has gone (stands with a red exit sign knocking against the back of his head while talking this through with Sam).

Like, mathematically, it makes sense to do it because 30 people vs 1, but it’s forcing a horrible choice, and it’s the brutal act of letting a demon cut out a pointedly pure person’s heart for the sake of that: the act will be morally/emotionally scarring to those who take it, even against the 30 people’s lives.

Compared to that, Dean’s choice of opening the doors and fighting might put them ALL at risk and have more of them die - even helpless Nancy ANYWAY after all that - but the choice was theirs and they die in that go down swinging heroic way he values where no one is morally compromised by the deaths of the others. He makes a point of saying it’s the more human thing to do vs the monstrous in allowing Ruby to do her thing. 

(the mass exorcism they use actually mirrors Ruby’s spell for end result except that the demons aren’t killed either, just sent to Hell, but I mean, result for saving the meatsuits where they can. I suppose exorcise is more humane to the demon too but we don’t count that as a win by this world’s morality :P So Dean gets to mimic what Ruby would have done but on moral human terms where it is much more dangerous - basically removing them from being in a place of privilege and instead in it together… I dunno, 2am thoughts now :P)

* * *

Aw, Ruby. She says she bet on the wrong horse and stomps off… Maybe for all we know this is where she makes the decision Sam is weaksauce and (probably too influenced by Dean’s heroics) not worth the energy converting into the promised boy king, and she goes off and decides to work for Lilith instead… We don’t know what Ruby knew when or what her loyalties were outside of Lucifer so if she thought Sam was the ticket to freeing Lucifer without really knowing why, she latches onto him… If Lilith has actual knowledge of how it’s done and a little bit of a better idea of Sam’s part… Well, it’s no surprise Ruby comes in season 4 with actual better knowledge of how to make Sam ready that she didn’t have before.

*all this speculation pending on how she comes across in the last episode of season 3* I remember she was really antagonistic when they summoned her (I don’t think she’s in any more episodes between now and then) but I can’t remember what else she says or does. 

* * *

All that hard work painting demon traps gone. :(

* * *

Aww Victor gets a red exit sign by his head. Not long for this world. :(

Awwwww Victor and Dean bump into each other and fight back to back for a moment. :(

At least they have Nancy up on the roof out the way. Talking about how much sex she’ll have. >.>

* * *

This is definitely the most demons they’ve ever seen in one room at once. Scary. :P

* * *

I will always always always laugh at how ridiculous this must have been to act. “bang on this door and then at our word all stop what you’re doing, look up, and open your mouth really wide.”

* * *

Woo it’s an everyone lives situation!

* * *

And Victor symbolically kills them in the lies he intends to tell.

I think he manages to actually phone up and say this before anything happens? Yeah, we see him on the phone… 

* * *

OH NO. Immediately with the cute hand-holding kid coming in.

Hi Lilith.

:(

I’m sorry Nancy and Victor and random background cop who was very helpful but I never picked up the name of.

* * *

To be fair on the Winchesters, this was an unfortunate death by association to them, not any collateral damage they directly caused and they did the best they could, so chalk it up to the miasma of death and despair that follows them around and not their actions. >.>

(Not going to stop Victor being a significant ghost next season though…)

* * *

OH HEY IT’S THE RUG. It’s in their motel room! Woo!

Um, I mean, this is a really tragic thing. Everyone is dead. Much sad.

* * *

Ruby still blames them for having the body count just for being unprepared and not following her orders or thinking big picture enough. In the moment it felt like the right moral choice, but it’s obviously going to haunt them.

* * *

Hm, she mentions a next time and gives them the hex bags so she’s still invested in their ongoing protection, if very begrudgingly. Unless Lilith already talked to her and sent her to go mend the bridges she burned for the sake of being the one demon remotely allowed in Sam and Dean’s presence. 

I still don’t feel like we see her again until the end? I should probably check that. But yeah.

*checks* 

Yah, no more Ruby until the end. 

~writers’ striiiike~


	13. 3x13

I am honestly still haunted by how the fangirls in 10x05 knew to do the Ghostfacers thing. They must have watched the webseries and figured it was an Easter Egg or homage to the books. Was that clip of Cas bothering the Ghostfacers canon? Did they see that? Did they  _know_  what they saw?

One thing’s for sure, we the audience at home are the only fans allowed to know what happened THIS episode. :P

* * *

I just went to open up the transcript (mostly to scan it out of idle curiosity to see what the bleeped out swearing was represented as while I waited for the Previously stuff to stop rolling) and saw the excellent promo picture for this episode which needs to be preserved:

([x](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.supernaturalwiki.com%2Findex.php%3Ftitle%3DFile%3A3-13_Ghostfacers.jpg&t=ZDEwOTI2NDExY2Y5ZjI0OGQ1M2Y4YTJiZDVhY2I3ZmVjOTIxYzE3NSxkQk93WVd1Vw%3D%3D&b=t%3AEoTmUHpiEEiE91JGAXVv3Q&p=https%3A%2F%2Felizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F124346103238%2Fspn-hellatus-rewatch-3x13-i-am-honestly-still&m=1))

*dramatically puts foot on box*

(LOOK AT MAGGIE IN THE BACKGROUND THOUGH)

* * *

I’m honestly so taken with the weird way the Ghostfacers talk. They’ve got an almost unique way of mangling language? 

> ED: So strap in for the scariest hour in the history of television.
> 
> HARRY: In the history of your life…

I just… :’D

It’s hilarious and as a writer I find it so hard to come up with intentionally bad use of language that’s as  _creative_  as this? 

it gets me every time.

* * *

I wonder who recorded the music for them? They’re as bad at lyrics as everything else, but apparently pretty competent at recording music? Are they also a band? Should they have just pursued that career instead? Or do they just know some guys?

Oh hey, the pose from the promo footage is their title sequence end as well, but you get an even better angle of Maggie making fun of their dramatic posing. :P

… I kinda love her. :P

* * *

(I also like how Dean is introduced in the credits giving the camera the finger. I just remember the  _yesss_  of watching this for the first time and seeing Dean being so rude. I think what’s so great about him is he always  _feels_  this way, like, this is the least surprising character reveal ever, and it’s a seamless part of him, but he’s also completely different while censored via bleeping and pixels rather than writing choices. :P)

* * *

The introductions of the others are hilarious though. Still kind of bemused about why they decided they needed an intern except as a visual demonstration to us that power has gone to Ed n Harry’s heads.

I’m as lost as you are about how they got successful enough to have enough power to go to their heads.

* * *

Oh my god the sexual tension between Corbett and Ed.

I’m pretty sure he’d have hit that if Corbett had had a few more months to work him over. He was not obliviously brushing him off - he noticed the attention even if he didn’t get why it was there. :P

And Harry is jeeealous.

“That could spell trouble for the whole team” YEAH what’s the problem with Ghostfacers making out with Ghostfacers, huh? Unless it’s the  _wrong_  Ghostfacers making out with each other.

Doesn’t he end up making out with Ed’s sister? He’s so petty. :P Ed stresses that Maggie is adopted but Harry’s got a fixation on her as Ed’s sister? The Zeddmore it’s safe to make out with without ending up asking too many questions of himself, like why he’s so jealous of Corbett being interested in Ed.

This is such a mess. :P I feel like I am snooping on a huge drama that should not have been aired.

* * *

Heheh I love how they freak out about the sound of the car, and it’s like, WE KNOW THAT ENGINE. :3

Could hear a 67 Impala from like halfway across town and know who was there. :P

* * *

Pfft Ed tells Corbett he’s looking good and it gets all awkward again, and then he says it casually to Harry and then Corbett again all in the space of a few seconds. Tell me there’s no love triangle. I dare you.

* * *

Aw and then Ed and Corbett are paired up for their first adventure. :3

* * *

Does the random other guy called Spruce actually do anything aside from goof around and film stuff? I can’t even remember if he dies or not.

> HARRY: I don’t really like rats. They’re gross. Rats are like the… rats of the world. 

* * *

Yay, the professionals are here!

> CORBETT: Ed, what’s going on?
> 
> ED: They’re not cops, buddy – no, not at all.
> 
> DEAN: Ed, Ed, you had a partner, too, didn’t you – A different guy?
> 
> ED: Oh, yeah, yeah.
> 
> DEAN: Is he around here somewhere?
> 
> ED: He’s running around, chasing ghosts.
> 
> DEAN: Okay, well, listen, you and Rambo need to get your girlfriends and get out of here.
> 
> ED: All right. Listen here, chisel chest, okay?

So Corbett and Ed are linked as not the usual partners and Dean then calls the whole lot girlfriends (Maggie is off with Harry and Spruce on the other side of the house at this point so Dean is just referring to Harry and Corbett as Ed’s girlfriends) and then Ed calls him chisel chest.

I’m starting to think the way the recap before the episode ended with Ed leaning back all “Yeeeah we can have sex. With  _girls_.” was quite the final line. :P This is the gayest episode so far.

*Dean slams Ed up against the wall and talks to him like inches from his nose while I’m typing that*

* * *

I’m commemorating Maggie’s “just saw my first ghost” face because she is not good at facing ghosts. 

(ghosts)

I may be having a bit too much fun :P

* * *

Corbett nooo don’t wander off from the party. :(

It was Ed who got really concerned and noticed he was gone. :(

I’m pretty sure Corbett is yelling “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeed”

Poor Corbett. :(

* * *

Hahaha, Dean said “bad mother” but didn’t finish the sentence… Apparently he does sometimes censor himself anyway? 

* * *

> DEAN: Hey, give the lady a cigar. All right, seriously, does looking at this nightmare through that camera make you feel better or something? I mean…
> 
> MAGGIE: Um…I, uh… Well, yeah. Uh, yeah. I think so.
> 
> DEAN: Oh.

*randomly appreciates Maggie*

She is traumatised but coping through ART. The art of filming a really terrible IRL horror movie.

It’s kind of depressing that at the end Dean deletes all her work once he knows that and is the one who had this conversation with her. :P Dude. Don’t mess with people’s coping mechanisms.

* * *

We never have death echoes again, do we? Considering how they used Corbett when he was an echo, it would be actually kind of useful :P

* * *

I do wonder why they can’t just burn the house down. I mean obviously there were people in here, but still. :P Throw in some matches and be done with it.

I know that was the solution in Hell House, but if anything that should remind Dean and inspire him. 

I suppose they value the art of ghost hunting too much to half-ass it if there are other options involving sneaking around and getting almost killed by ghosts.

* * *

> ED: Oh, come on, guys. This is ridiculous. I mean, how the hell is this supposed to find Corbett, huh? We should be digging up the friggin’ floorboards right now.

Awww, Ed continues to be concerned for his intern. :>

* * *

*Dean looks directly into the camera after they’re done implying what the corpses were stolen for*

*it’s not weird because the camera actually exists right now*

* * *

Aww Maggie wandered off to look for Corbett because she’s a hero and wants to find her friend. :< 

*scares herself stupid seeing her reflection in the mirror*

Me if I was a ghost hunter. :P

Probably something symbolic about that given all the mirror symbolism on the show? 

(Naaah Maggie is just hilarious :P)

Dean is the one who comes to find her - he’s actually had a fair bit of interaction with her. Probably because she comes across as one of the more normal people here.

* * *

And the prize for worst-timed Ghostfacers logo is over Dean’s ‘I just lost Sammy again’ face.

* * *

*everyone runs around for like 5 minutes just yelling names*

Okay, Maggie is slightly less normal than I thought since she starts making out with Harry. Who does that. :P 

*Spruce just quietly nominating himself the narrator of this story by snooping on them and providing a soundtrack* 

> ED: My best friend… And my best sister. 

THE JEALOUS HEART BREAK THOUGH.

Sort yourself out, Ed.

* * *

“Ed.” “Harry.” “Ed.” “Harry.” “Ed.” “Harry.” “Ed.” “Harry.” “Ed.” “Harry.”

*repeat to infinity*

* * *

You can tell Spruce is a close friend, because he is nominated as the “Hold my glasses” friend.

I have been the “Hold my glasses” friend, and it’s an excellent position to be in. You get a front seat to friends scrapping and you are not allowed to take sides because  _glasses_. Glasses are way more important.

In fact when I was the “hold my glasses” friend because we are all such nerds I was handed a pair of glasses from either side of the fight, so I transcended to become a being of pure neutrality. :P

* * *

Corbett is alive, kinda, for now.

Oh no. :(

Ohh no.

Poor Corbett. :(

* * *

There are gratuitous shots of dead Corbett used a scene setting for the party while Sam is having his party hat put on. Wow, whoever edited this has issues… :P

* * *

If Sam ended up killed and haunting the house his ghost would have a party hat. I feel like this is very typical of Sam’s life. 

* * *

Which one is trapped with Dean? We just got POV looking at Ed n Harry for their ridiculous minute long deliberation on if Dean meant to get in the duffel bag or not, and obviously Dean doesn’t have a camera so the POV from the other side of the door is vague.

* * *

Ah, nope, Maggie is with Ed n Harry. Awkward. :P

* * *

*she punches Ed for being gross about her and Harry* Teehee.

Aww noooooo, Corbett.

The whole weird relationship dynamic is stuck in a room together. :P Ed gives her the blessing to be with Harry, neutralising that side of the dynamic, and leaves him free for a moment to explore his feelings for Corbett while he’s temporarily let Harry go?? I DON’T KNOW. 

(They… don’t actually properly reappear in canon until season 9, do they? Aside from their little cameo when they teach Dean Smith and Sam Wesson to hunt? So we go from this to Ed being unable to let Harry go at all and fabricating Thin Man to keep them in business and on the road together. I am now genuinely sort of sad and hoping they reappear before the very end and are back together and have worked all their crap out. :P)

* * *

It’s always right when Spruce stops to ask Dean how he’s doing re: only having a couple of months to live that I begun wondering about his role in this story. :P He seems concerned about Dean or if not is fleshing out the human side of the story for the sake of making a more interesting narrative for the stuff he’s captured on video that night. I’m just all kinds of intrigued about his role as the narrator and the one who strings this story together. He even used a selfie angle when introducing himself, while the others were more interview style. I can’t remember the details of the end but I wonder if he was the one who edited it?

I feel like Spruce might be a sort of very low-key meta character author insert as a film maker.

* * *

“You’re strong,” Spruce says admiringly of Dean. In the same episode he got called chisel chest. *giggling*

* * *

(Meanwhile Sam’s opinion of birthday parties is turning into an intense white hot hatred. This is the season bookended by Dean selling his soul on one of Sam’s birthdays and going to Hell on the other, if the random fandom trivia I internalise is true. :P)

(No wonder he was confused when Amelia did something nice for his birthday in season 8)

* * *

Corbett’s dead body camera being used to introduce the scene. SERIOUS issues.

* * *

… The shot of Spruce looking at Corbett saying “oh no Corbett” is actually the worst Ghostfacers title card.

* * *

Hahaha, Sam knows everything about Daggett because he told him at great length. Sam sounds extremely weary. The little torments that Sam goes through… Honestly. Poor guy.

* * *

> HARRY (singing softly): Ghostfacers… we go to places the others will not…Ghostfacers…stay in the kitchen when the kitchen gets hot. 

Poor Harry. :P

* * *

Actually you know what would be great - Dean randomly bonding with some dude on a case who then dies, and then we see the death echo and then Dean manages to get through to him to ask him important stuff.

And, like, we’d all know. :P

* * *

> SAM: Seriously – you’re still shooting?
> 
> DEAN: It makes him feel better. Don’t ask.

Oi! Spruce has stolen Maggie’s thing from earlier in the episode. >.> 

Maybe they both have a shared interest in storytelling and after Maggie dumps Harry after realising that was a panicky adrenaline decision to make out, actually bonds with Spruce while editing films together. They go off and are actually successful and totally nothing to do with Ed n Harry who spend at least the next 6 years bugging them to make another movie for them to try and get in on their success. 

* * *

*totally ignores any actual canon from the Ghostfacers webseries because I’ve generally had zilch interest in it unless Cas was there, so I’ve never seen any of the rest of it* This isn’t making me interested in watching more I’m just coming up with headcanons to pass the time while stuff happens on screen. :P

* * *

*Ed is gay for the poor dead intern*

* * *

He calls him buddy. Lol lol lol.

* * *

Awww he took his glasses off for the emotional moment.

* * *

There was a suspicious similarity to scaling down from “we need you” to “I need you” in there. >.>

> ED:  You meant… Corbett, you meant a lot to the team. You meant… You meant a lot to me.

* * *

Stupid romantic tropes.

* * *

Hehehe Sam swearing when violently thrown across the room. Canon that they do this every time.

* * *

Heh, seeing them in actual colour for the first time, you can see Ed is wearing yellow, Harry green and Maggie a mix of the same shades of dark green and yellow.

The bridge between them.

* * *

Oh my god and then Ed says he thinks Corbett is still watching over them.

*sob*

* * *

And then the line which somehow disturbingly sums up the entire show from the Destiel perspective. :P Man, we’re like 3 episodes from Cas yoinking Dean out of Hell and everything.

* * *

*considers watching everything slightly sped up to make it come faster*

* * *

Oh, Spruce (I assume) interviewing Corbett before they go out on the hunt says that it’s for fleshing out their characters - I am definitely assuming he is responsible for putting the program together.

* * *

Heh, the “written by Ben Edlund” credit with Ed gurning hopefully at them to see if they liked it.

> SAM: Yeah, um, I mean it’s bizarre how you all are able to honor Corbett’s memory while grossly exploiting the manner of his death. Well done. 

_Beautiful_.

* * *

bye bye all their hard work!

* * *

> DEAN: It’s too bad. I kinda liked the show.
> 
> SAM: It had its moments.

^ basically


	14. 3x14

*throws self screaming at one of my least favourite episodes*

I really don’t like the end of season 3. :P

* * *

The summary before the episode is really thorough with recapping the whole plot since the beginning of season 2, probably because there hasn’t  _been_  any plot for months and months and months.

* * *

*gets distracted staring out the window because I thought I heard the neighbour’s new puppy and doesn’t bother to rewind*

* * *

It’s a really nice sunset this evening. (My window is kinda tall and thin like the one you can see on the house further down the road if I look this way so there’s no point doing a horizontal landscape photo: this is how the view looks to me. :P)

I always think that little blue and red thing just past that line of cars across the street and down the road is a really hench garden gnome until I get my glasses and see it’s just a traffic cone.

* * *

I like the hot dog truck. 

Dean is eating one, shockingly.

* * *

> DEAN  
> Shocking. Pack your panties, Sammy, we’re hitting the road

Uh.

* * *

> SAM  
> So you two were talking a case?
> 
> DEAN  
> No, we were actually talking about our feelings. And then our favourite boy bands. Yeah, we were talking a case!

Is Dean okay right now? I know he’s much much closer to dying than before (and now textually is being set up to actually die and the saving him thing has had to be called off and so this all has to be more futile for him and Sam), but.

(Funny that Dean and Bobby have had all the touching conversations of the dynamic of Bobby vs both Winchesters so far *insert that textpost meme of “You must be a level 8 friend to know my tragic backstory”*)

But yeah Dean is projecting to high hell right now.

* * *

> SAM: We should summon Ruby.
> 
> DEAN; I’m not gunna have this fight with you.
> 
> SAM: She said she knows how to save you.
> 
> DEAN: Well, she can’t.
> 
> SAM: Oh really, you know that for sure?
> 
> DEAN: I do.
> 
> SAM: How?
> 
> DEAN: Because she told me, okay!
> 
> SAM: What?
> 
> DEAN: She told me. Flat out. She can’t save me, nobody can.

That awkward writers’ strike feel when your characters accidentally lie to each other for like 6 months longer than you ever intended so the first available time they ever have to talk to each other after you get back to work you have to info dump everything and ruin any projected character arc.

“And you just somehow neglected to mention this to me?”

Weeell.

* * *

> SAM  
> So what, now you’re keeping secrets from me, Dean?
> 
> DEAN  
> You really wanna talk about who’s keeping secrets from who?

This makes me realise that this PROBABLY refers to the reveal Ruby dropped in Jus In Bello which was like 1000 years ago Winchester time, even if it’s only 2 episodes for the casual DVD marathon-er.

Once again, they’ve just randomly sat and stewed on stuff for months because it’s all been time sensitive and they need to skip ahead. Bad character development due to poor timing. >.>

Like, my issues with season 3 are mostly about the fact it got broken, and issues like this are them doing the best they can and it’s just not satisfying because the season is fucked up by this on the fine details (and for some reason ¾ of the remaining episodes are MotW and next episode is the only one with proper plot around the edges, though the main plot is at least important to the monster subplot of this episode). 

* * *

Dean tries to be all tough cop and says that withholding info is a capital offence. Uh. Not a smart!Dean episode probably then. >.> (Compare to his success at effectively bullshitting being the tough cop in Dream a Little Dream)

* * *

The motel room this episode has some big stars on the random divider thing, and circles on the bedspread. Theeemes. 

* * *

Eurgh the bit at the phone exchange.

>.>

* * *

Hey Sam’s rented a car. Apparently. 

Season 3 is weird.

* * *

Apparently the rented car is plot important.

* * *

> SAM  
> Because you know…if you did…then I would have told you that I’ve been right where you’re standing right now. Hearing things, even seeing things that can’t be explained. Maybe I would have been able to help out a little bit. Anyway… 

Sam casually reminding us that he had powers that one time, and also using the experience in a positive way to help the girl.

Honestly the fact he’s talking so casually about it does sort of make him seem way less angsty about them for the time being? Like, if this was when they still thought Sam would go dark and save Dean, then it would have been ominous or something? Or not spoken of? Using it like this does make it seem more like a memory and by putting it in that box, kind of wards off the idea of his powers meaning anything for this season.

It is weird how season 3 is this random break in Sam’s powers arc, since it’s 1 and 2, 4 and 5 (and then 6 and 7 are clean up from it) so for most of the show until deeeep in, this arc affects Sam, but season 3 is like lol nope nothing happening.

* * *

> DEAN  
> I just talked to an 84 year old grandmother who’s having phone sex with her husband, who died in Korea!
> 
> SAM  
> Eww.
> 
> DEAN  
> It redefined my understanding of the word ‘Necrophilia’.
> 
> A young woman walking past DEAN overhears and gasps, giving him a dirty look as she passes. He pauses, grimacing, then turns to check her out as she continues walking.

>.>

Seriously what is up with this episode.

* * *

And I already made that comment in watching Dream a Little Dream about Dean still hearing John’s voice clear as a bell, so possibly the most important thing to say about this episode I accidentally already covered. :P

Blah blah Dean’s issues with John as per that episode. Works better in context of Dream, so.

* * *

Sam sort of fades over to the couch. I swear this room looks like I made it on the Sims 2 with no budget. Those  _look_  like the basic counters and cheap fridge and the exact shiny cheap sofa with +1 comfort point.

* * *

I honestly can’t tell if they’re coping too well with the John curveball because they expect weird stuff to happen or if there’s some sort of emotional oversight.

* * *

> SAM  
> After three hours I have found no reason why anything supernatural would be going on here.
> 
> DEAN  
> Well, you know, you think a Stanford education and a high school hook up rate of zero point zero would produce better results than that.
> 
> SAM  
> Hilarious.

(I honestly don’t know what Sam would have missed that couldn’t be instantly spotted in basic info about the town, unless he delved right into the lore and went too deep right away? You’d think googling things about phones would at least get him some summaries - unless he skipped past all the introductory paragraphs explaining phones to find more lore?)

Anyway, just chronicling my ongoing wtf with this episode re: sexuality, characterisation, yadda yadda.

On the other hand:

> DEAN  
> (Reaching into his jacket pocket) Motel pamphlet rack. 
> 
> DEAN drops some literature on the coffee table.

Good day for my headcanon of Dean stealing stuff from motels and so on. 

I’d guess he got all annoyed about the John thing and went to blow off steam, lost 3 hours mysteriously, and was also bumming around in the main office of the motel for at least some of it. I genuinely do not know how to account for Dean’s time.

* * *

*snorts to myself because the tour guide is making air quotes around everything and Dean looks really alarmed*

> DEAN  
> (Whispering) What’s with the quote-y fingers? 

* * *

I am kind of sad that spirit phone thing didn’t work because that would have been a pretty cool plot.

* * *

Dean staying up to drink coffee and stare at his phone. Randomly reminded of how Harry Potter spent several nights in his first year sneaking off to sit in front of the Mirror of Erised to see his dead parents.

Hahaha fake John lays into him for selling his soul and reminds him he’s going to Hell right as Dean swings around to look out of a window  _bathed_  in red light.

Hilariously John says that demon that holds Dean’s deal is in town (presumably with the aim of getting Dean killed faster than other others who the monster has been tormenting since he’s a threat as a hunter), but I guess the Lilith thing really is last minute knowledge for them (well there are 2 episodes left :P) and the demon that fake!John suggests is male. Which with like 7 years later hindsight and the thought the demon could be Crowley if it was real just makes me giggle about John setting Dean up with his later BFF/ill-advised summer fling for their first meeting.

* * *

Oh hey this episode had the monster communicating through the computer. 

This is why you don’t leave your webcam on.

*random teenager is emotionally scarred for life*

* * *

… Sam apparently sees her off-screen to reassure her.

Dean has been obsessively collecting weather reports right after we’ve seen the monster can make stuff up on the computer. Sam’s like, uh, we didn’t hear it thundering anywhere in the last two weeks? 

> SAM  
> And it’s following you because…
> 
> DEAN  
> I guess I’m big game, you know. My ass is too sweet to let outta sight.

*snorts*

I am pretty sad this is all a set up and completely patently untrue because…

I honestly do not ship Drowley.  _Honestly_. 

I’ve just got a very twisted sense of humour.

* * *

> DEAN  
> Hey, as far as I’m aware the only one of us who has actually been to hell is Dad. 

… the early seasons are so innocent.

*Sam wandering in and out of Hell in an afternoon in season 8*

* * *

> DEAN  
> Wow, a couple of civvies are freaked out by some ghosts. News flash Sam, people are supposed to be freaked out by ghosts! 

S’pose this is the other reason the monster picks on Dean slightly differently.

And weirdly knowledgeably. This monster knows a legit exorcism (even if it lies that it can kill demons)… we don’t really have monsters vs demons :P Like, imagine in season 6 or something when demons were hunting monsters but just to collect them, if monsters started doing research to find out how to fight back. I mean there was some hive-minding going on with Eve anyway. She could have just taught them all how to draw devil’s traps.

Imagine how awkward it would be if they were hunting demons and some random ghouls got there first.

“Pls stop exorcising demons and eating the meatsuit, it completely defeats the purpose.”

“But they’re just walking right up to us like we ordered take out!”

* * *

> DEAN  
> (Shouting) You’re unbelievable, you know that? I mean for months we’ve been trying to break this demon deal. Now Dad’s about to give us the freaking address and you can’t accept it? The man is dead and you’re still butting heads with the guy!
> 
> SAM  
> That is not what this is about.
> 
> DEAN  
> (Shouting) So what is it!
> 
> SAM  
> (Shouting back) The fact is we’ve got no hard proof here, Dean. After everything, you’re still just going on blind faith!

Spark notes on how they deal with John. :P

Interesting that Dean relating to John is linked to faith. Not actual faith but yeah Dean having religious levels of bad idea follow this thought against all better judgement because I believe sort of faith, when he won’t do the same for actual religious stuff.

He then goes and sits behind all the stars.

The table and chairs and blue oven that doesn’t quite match the counters is making me more convinced than ever this is the default cheap-ass kitchen from the Sims.

* * *

Oh my god this random kid is literally wearing a mini kid version of Sam’s clothes. I have no idea who he is or why he’s here but he’s also getting phone calls.

* * *

Oh, I guess Sam changed his shirt. I swear he was wearing a similar plaid earlier and he’s back into his brown hoodie for this episode like the kid.

* * *

Dean defaces some random house he’s broken into with a devil’s trap. At least they’ll be well-protected.

There’s a lite version of John doing the holy water thing in 1x21 with him looking into a big bottle of water and dropping a rosary in with an up the nose camera angle. 

Thinking of mini-mes, the hoodie is the  _exact_  same shade of brown. Oh my god. What is going on with this?

It’s the little brother of the girl who’s been contacted by her mom in trouble from the truck, so she’s having the same issues as Dean, and then has an infant brother that needs rescuing. Which Sam does. Saving himself? Commentary that he sort of dodged a bullet by not having the predicted dark arc for the season after all? I mean he’s still going to get pretty dark and then season 4 is moments away.

* * *

I am assuming Dean took the news it wasn’t John way too well so Sam actually just talked to the monster.

Sam’s endless knowledge of weird monsters though. I’m starting to think he knows a whole encyclopaedia of surface level facts like this and all the research he does at this point is mostly just fact checking and working out the details of how to kill it.

Which, uh, we just cut straight to him going to the phone company  _without_  stopping to look up how to kill it? 

Oh okay he’s just like “I know how to kill you” He literally knew everything without looking it up?

* * *

Random soul eating monster.

*fails to think of anything funny about him since this is weird, that other gross guy still didn’t deserve to get stabbed just for not clearing up his workspace very often and being a PoC represents an unfortunate statistic on the show, and I am unpleasantly distracted by the monster’s camp posturing as he plays with the phone exchange* 

* * *

Dean’s been set up in a kill or be killed with this random other bloke, to whom Dean has been cast as the guy who killed his daughter. (The guy had an “I <3 my gun” sticker on his locker. Uhoh.)

If he’s been given an exorcism to kill the demon and doesn’t expect to fight a human, doesn’t that put him at a massive disadvantage since he won’t be using weapons?

This guy’s just steaming in for straight up revenge for a dead family member, but Dean’s there for self-salvation, even if it does involve killing a guy.

… Oh the bloke comes in with a gun and Dean overpowers him anyway because he’s Dean, and so it’s not a words v guns fight. :P

I’m thinking of the fight back in the fairy tale episode with the Big Bad Wolf where he was controlled and Dean ended up fighting him and nearly killing him after scrapping in some random house.

* * *

> [The monster guy]  
> Technology. Makes life so much easier. Used to be I’d hide in the woods for days, weeks, whispering to people, trying to draw them out into the night. But they had community, they all looked out for each other, I’d be lucky to eat one or two souls a year. Now when I’m hungry, I simply make a phone call. You’re all so connected. But you’ve never been so alone. 

Is this a metaphor bitching about the modern availability of pizza delivery?

(but apparently not literally)

* * *

Dean does that thing with the gun which is awesome, having got the guy in the demon trap.

Oops he’s not a demon.

* * *

Ew, that was a gross death for the monster. I suppose those random hooks were conveniently of some metal which magically kills monsters? Sam should probably use the knife that actually kills it to make sure it’s dead.

* * *

Sam comes back and it turns out Dean knows what the monster is too. Did they just have a run in with one of these when they were young or something? There is no way that monster is well known enough when they need to give each other lore recaps on things like werewolves and vampires. Rare weird monster? Bam, both of them know.

Maybe they came across it researching something else and Dean made that lame joke about its name sounding like a sandwich and Sam laughed and remembered that with his freakish memory (and assumed Dean wouldn’t and his sense of humour is just that repetitive which seems fair enough characterisation that Dean would unknowingly make the same joke twice, especially after Sam had to put up with his sense of humour in Mystery Spot… :P)

* * *

> DEAN  
> I can’t. I wanted to believe so badly that there was a way outta this. I mean I’m staring down the barrel at this thing. You know, Hell. For real, forever, and I just…

… didn’t expect this season to abruptly cut short so suddenly I’m months further down the line with no plot development, like, do you know how awful it is to do months of off-screen filler while apparently not talking about literally anything plot relevant for the sake of the fact we have to discus it fresh when we finally show up back on screen?

> SAM  
> Yeah. 

* * *

> DEAN  
> Hope doesn’t get you jack squat. I can’t expect Dad to show up with some miracle at the last minute. I can’t expect anybody to, you know. I mean the only person that can get me out of this thing is me.

I’m not going to bother but I feel like you could find the last couple of lines repeated pretty word for word somewhere in season 10. :P Of course, without the random thought John could show up because for a good chunk of season 10 they actually did seem to be exorcising his memory a little.

Although that did actually lead to speculation John would show up in some form or another to be exorcised visibly as part of Dean’s growing up process.

(iwatchthepie made me laugh by having a weird moment of realising Dean was actually turning into a grown up adult person by season 10 but it’s true he’s been in this massively extended adolescence for most of the show, with his emotional maturity, and stuff like this he’s just a sad little boy and it breaks my heart.)

* * *

*episode trails off abruptly*

If I watch quickly, I could see Cas by like Sunday.

 _Caaas_.


	15. 3x15

Or: a little tale about recycling.

(body parts, actors, entire season’s thematic slants… :P)

* * *

I’m assuming it’s intentional irony that these douchey guys are working for a cosmetic surgery company and  ~~Magnus~~  this random doctor gets grabbed for the sake of preserving the doc for a few more years, and that his douchey age-ist misogynistic comments were mostly to make us not care that he had some internal organs stolen. :P

* * *

Sam and Dean are interrogating a demon when we catch up with them - is this the time covered in the opening of Repo Man? Because they aren’t really torturing him the same way Jeffrey got mangled. I think that might have been supposedly in season 4 since it’s way darker with the torture themes. Though I don’t remember if they actually did any torturing of demons aside from the obvious that season? I’m blanking on it. I swear they say they’re looking for Lilith though. Which… they don’t even know who has the contract right now?

Hm. *stares thoughtfully* 

*gives up and wanders over to Superwiki* It says Spring 2008 for that flashback which would be right around now. Their ability to actually threaten demons here is pretty pathetic (lord knows how they even caught this one) and it makes fun of them for that.

Not sure what the take away from this is - perhaps something to prod in season 7.

(Which Sera was showrunner of, so if her episode here was the one treading closest to that territory…)

(Unrelated note: is it just me or did Sera write like 50% of season 3? :P)

* * *

Anyway they are slumming it in a really dodgy horror house full of decrepit sofas and cobwebs - I suppose because they’d have issues torturing anywhere else. :P There is a return of their millions of candles as in Red Sky At Night.

* * *

Dean comes back from burying the meatsuit commenting it was dead and another line about how the demons ride the meatsuits hard for kicks, mirroring the comment in the opening of the season, to remind us that it’s still the demons killing these people, not the Winchesters.

*stares down Repo Man*

Real morality shift across the show.

I know I know I said I would hold off until later but that’s  _four seasons_  away. I could be 90 years old by then.

* * *

Dean sits on the revolting couch.

I guess as long as he doesn’t actually have to touch it with his hands. :P He’s definitely perching a little.

* * *

> DEAN  
> Zombies do like the other other white meat. Huh. Speaking of, what do you care about zombies?
> 
> SAM  
> What do you mean?
> 
> DEAN  
> Well, you’ve been on soul-saving detail for months now. And we’re three weeks out, and all of a sudden, you’re interested in some hot zombie action?

Three weeks!

Ah man, for most of season 3 there’s almost no mention of how long Dean has left, and then because we came back so late suddenly every episode is like DOOM COUNTDOWN.

I bet this would have been way more fun with the missing 6 episodes. :P

But yeah, I may have been mocking the show’s predicament more than the writing last episode but this is a pretty good use of exposition since it’s highlighting what’s up with Sam very early as the first clue of how far he’s going to go this episode.

> SAM  
> Hey, man, you’re the one who’s been all gung ho to hunt. I just thought I’d be doing you a favor.
> 
> DEAN  
> Hey, no, no, no, no, no. I didn’t say I didn’t want to do it, okay. I mean obviously I want to hunt some zombies.

So apparently Dean is still flagging on the idea of saving himself even after all this time, probably out of the fear that whatever they try and do it will still cause Sam to die. He’s helping Sam along, but he was looking very moody during the exorcism, and if Sam says he’s spent these last months being about hunting (i.e. trying to save a few last people before he’s gone and can do nothing good for the world ever again and probably come back as a demon blah blah) while Dean is saying Sam’s been on the soul-saving thing, it shows there’s still a fundamental difference in what they’re actually trying to achieve right now.

In this case, Dean’s go-down-swinging attitude is actually going to look kind of sensible compared to where we are by the end of the episode. :P

* * *

Sam’s hair is the longest it’s been so far at the end of season 3. Does he get it cut for season 4? I can’t remember - I feel like it stays within a reasonable range for the next 3 seasons.

* * *

> CORONER  
> Fine. So you’re cops and morons.
> 
> DEAN  
> Excuse me? No, no. We’re very smart.

You stick up for yourself, Dean. :3

In the context of your fake job.

Honestly, he can’t even express basic self-esteem without being behind a mask. >.>

* * *

Oh my god, Sam. >.> I wasn’t totally sure if he remembered the case or not when he had a random lingering camera shot before they set off, but he’s totally leading Dean around letting him run the case until it’s safe to say that he’s figured out what this is.

> SAM  
> Nothing. So, that kind of punches a hole in our zombie theory, huh, that scalpel thing?
> 
> […]
> 
> DEAN  
> What should we be looking for?
> 
> SAM  
> Survivors. This isn’t zombie lunch. This is organ theft.

* * *

I love the snarky kidney theft victim.

* * *

Sam casually looking up info on silk sutures and daring Dean to keep eating his burger while he talks him through the details of maggots. We ALREADY have a maggots and burgers connection to Malleus Maleficarum with that random dude nearly dying via maggoty burger, which I don’t think they really knew about?

I wonder if there’s a theme to it - Dean is linked strongly to the burgers this season for the first time - like, it went from being a thing where he was a guy who ate burgers to thematic of his impending death as a symbol of him not giving a fuck. Now he’s got 3 weeks to go and is eating burgers still - he has no hope. But then the maggot thing. Hm.

I am very sleepy so I’m going to just leave that thought for now. :P

A very dubious honour to that “get this” in the middle of it. 

* * *

Their motel appears to be green/blue behind Dean and red/orange behind Sam?

  
  


It’s kind of like they’re in 2 different rooms or something, which is totally not symbolic. There’s a sort of mix of the colours between them.

Also what is up with the chairs.   

* * *

> SAM  
> Because you heard it before. When you were a kid… from Dad. 

Sam looks preeetty smug like he’s just pulled out his ace as he reveals this. I mean this is not a realisation that comes to him over the episode - he was plotting this the whole time, fight me.

(I am pretty sure it’s not a plot point people fight over I’m just the sort of academic who gets very excited about my evidence :P)

I would like to point out that Sam is literally reciting John’s journal from memory for his lines from this part, after he hands it to Dean. I think he maaay have read this bit over and over in the past few weeks and been tracking the Doc. In FACT I would venture that when he reminded Dean of the newspaper article at the start of the episode it was his first lead he’d found on it and Dean needed prompting to remember what it was, but Sam was already on the phone with random authority figures checking out the case to see if there was more. Given the Doc’s location is pretty well-known, I think Sam must have been keeping an eye for MONTHS after reading this looking out for a good lead on the Doc, while probably obsessively reading this section over and over.

(Also I love John’s drawing. :P Say what you want about the man, but he was excellent at scrapbooking.)

* * *

I’ve often wondered about how the Doc kept on going with no heart. I suppose he is some sort of living zombie where his flesh is animated with the spirit trapped in it no matter what (I wonder what the woodchipper would do? :P) but he replaces things like eyes and stuff for necessity of seeing and I dunno, the heart for habit? Or because he just functions better with one? :P

* * *

Gross as it is, the bit where the Doc cuts out the jogger’s heart to the sound of his watch that tracks his heart beat is pretty good TV. :P

* * *

We’re like 15 minutes in and this is all just the Doc? I could have sworn this episode had 2 plotlines.

* * *

Ooh Bobby just phoned them to say there’s a lead on Bela with Rufus! I knew I shouldn’t have doubted my memory of this episode. :P I was starting to think this was all deferred to the last episode and was wondering how much of a clusterfuck of plotlines it could possibly be.

* * *

Wasn’t there an episode in season 9 or 10 in Canaan? I remember people commenting on it because of the Cain n Abel stuff.

* * *

Heh, they’re still against their colour backgrounds as Dean and Sam reveal they’re in different rooms metaphorically on this case. Dean is wiling to go after Bela for the practical end but also maybe just to kill her if she has sold the Colt (maybe find out where it is as well - they have 3 weeks, it’s good to have something to do?? I don’t know. I’ve kind of given up tsking at Dean saying he’ll kill Bela). Sam has his idea of saving Dean (which he did blatantly know about all along after all). Dean was willing to go along saving people using this case as a time waster, while he waited for a lead but prioritises his life over the job which is pretty fair enough, compared to what Sam’s been chasing the Doc for with it as his primary mission. Dean draws the moral line about that and stomps off to try his fruitless Bela hunt, leaving Sam to do the thing if he has to, but refusing to condone it.

* * *

For the ongoing colour symbolism, Rufus has a red and green house (and red and green laundry on his line)

* * *

Rufus is hilariously obtuse to Dean, so I can’t tell if he blanked on the “Winchester” thing or noted it but isn’t commenting. 

Ah, he double checks Dean’s first name but “Winchester” rolls off his tongue pretty quickly. Hm.

Is he holding a bowl of cereal?

* * *

Aw man, I went from giggling in delight at Rufus because he is a fave, to being totally heartbroken.

> RUFUS  
> Cause that’s the job, kid. Even if you manage to scrape out of this one, there’s just gonna be something else down the road. Folks like us…there ain’t no happy ending. We all got it coming.
> 
> DEAN  
> Well, ain’t you a bucket of sunshine?
> 
> RUFUS  
> I’m what you’ve got to look forward to if you survive. (Smirking and raising his glass again) But you won’t.

Mm Kripke Era everyone’s going to die mentality.

Once more we have a little prodding at Dean’s endgame from Gamble, who paints this grim picture of the lonely paranoid hunter with his CCTV and not even being bothered enough to drink unless it’s worth it: he seems pretty done except for knowing a lot of things and apparently sourcing stuff for the discerning buyer like Bela, just living in his house with old trophies on the shelf (who knows if tragic backstory or kids that survived and flew the nest or his old trophies, but definitely a symbol of bygone times being commemorated, a reminder of some old glory days, however they’re connected to him).

I think it’s one more prod that guys like Dean don’t get happy endings: it’s pretty fitting with what happens in season 6 when he finally gets a go to try it with Lisa and ends up dragged back into the life and sees that attempt to be domestic crumble. Another suggestion as well that Dean’s got a bleak future of loneliness ahead of him which Sam isn’t included in/doesn’t fill the gap in as implied by the conversation with Dean n Victor in Jus in Bello. I only stress that difference because honestly sometimes the early seasons bro stuff is fucked up in a completely different way from how it’s fucked up now… >.> Interesting to come right after Sam told Dean he should be made immortal and he’d take the magic pill too. (Technically as a work-around to avoiding the trading back and forth between who’s going to die because of the deal, but with an obvious tone of “let’s be immortal together forever then why not.”) 

*blinks and stares at season 10* …thinking of Cas’s lines from 10x22 about them being immortal together forever, but, like,  _awfully_. And neither by choice in the same way since Dean didn’t read the terms and conditions on the Mark and Cas just  _is_. (got to love the darkest timeline that was season 3 mk ii :P)

Anyway, yeah. Sam n Dean COULD do that but for all it matters, Sam’s not in the equation when Rufus talks to Dean about how he could end up - and all the visual stuff around his character suggests loneliness, and all the dialogue from Bobby and Rufus ABOUT Bobby suggests isolation. When he says that last part, Dean looks sadly away like he totally gets it.

I still think, thanks to Gamble’s undercurrent of Lisa, this is another oblique reference to that life that Dean rejected at the start of the season: a sort of book end about how he turned it away then because he was out of time, but it’s been a whole year and he’s  _really really_  out of time now. Rufus tells him that that isn’t in the cards for him if he lives: basically underlining how it  _is_  just a dream for Dean and lending weight to the interpretation of the Lisa dream as ill-advised wish fulfilment for Dean. Like, he saw it because he  _wants_  it but not because he even thinks he could or should have it. Rufus saying this sort of shatters the story he had been telling himself about what he might have had  _if only_. 

I dunno. I find Dean x Lisa super tragic and it’s sad BECAUSE Dean came into it for all the wrong reasons, as much as Lisa broke up with him for all the right ones. And those reasons aren’t just the spontaneity of him showing up on her door in season 5: it’s all been in there for ages. This little mini arc has just surprised me by subtextually wrapping up: Gamble’s episodes this season basically laid out, supported, and then tore down the whole relationship before it ever actually happened. :P

* * *

Anyway, Sam is like doing stuff or something.

I think he’s rented another car.

Yeah. He’s rented another car. He’s really enjoying getting to use the remote to lock the car. :P

Considering the weird things he steals in season 10, I feel this is a season 3 mk ii thing they SHOULD have revisited.

* * *

Rufus sells out Bela to Dean. But warns him off. Rufus being a paranoid bastard of the highest order, has researched who she is. Presumably just for shits and giggles after she came to him, until he found out more.

They have a sort of repeat of the hilariously obtuse conversation on the door.

Rufus does not like just giving up information.

> RUFUS  
> You do her ear?
> 
> DEAN  
> Hey, man, I’ll try anything once, but I don’t know. That sounds uncomfortable.

*giggles*

…

I assume that first half of the line is the canon support for basically everything that has ever happened in any fan fiction involving Dean. :P

* * *

Huh, we’re halfway through the episode already.

* * *

Aaand we’re back to creepy cabins, and Sam snooping around.

I’d say nothing good could ever come of creepy cabins, but tbh they sort of become the norm and season 7 is based pretty much entirely out of Rufus’s cabin. :P

* * *

*Sam casually stealing a book to hopefully try and save Dean after being told by Dean not to do the thing to save him*

Hmm.

Bonus points for its connection to alchemical Frankenstein stuff. :P

(This season 3 borrowing all got talked over a LOT after 10x18 and extremely reluctantly/sporadically after 10x21 so I’m not even going to go there.)

* * *

Ew maggots.

* * *

Hahahahahaha Sam uses the bleeper to open the car in his dramatic fleeing.

Now he has the Doc’s notebook, Sam feels it’s cool to run the Doc over.

The Doc proves pretty resistant to being killed. :P

* * *

Ah man Bela. Bela Bela Bela. :(

(… Bela wearing a tan trenchcoat in this super intense scene with Dean, the first time they’re used around him and not Sam if my trenchcoat watch has been remotely accurate. (That’s Sam’s Bela sex dream, and Sarah, if you’re counting along at home))

Kinda sad about all the autumn leaves on the wall and the autumny scene in the painting on the wall behind Dean. The two of them are in their autumn. :( 

> BELA  
> It’s gone. Get on a plane if you must. Track down the buyer. You might catch up to him eventually. 

1: rude, Dean doesn’t fly. :P

2: lol he does catch up to him eventually. 

3: unintentional lol: screwing over said buyer ends up being the only thing in current canon to ever inspire Dean to get on a plane again.

* * *

Oh man, that flashback. :(

Is Bela actually explaining this?

No, she just makes out that she killed them for the money.

She’s preeeetty self-sabotaging here. Probably hoped that if she was going to die then Dean shooting her would be a quick death compared to what was to come, even while still playing a final game to possibly save her own life.

You know, not like she’s an amazingly accurate Dean mirror or anything. That same “I don’t deserve to be saved” feeling he has when forced to contemplate his salvation in exchange for killing Sam. And Bela’s self-worth all gone from long before she made the deal. I mean, she’s fighting to save herself, but she still seems to think she deserves it…

… Or she’s just gambling on Dean being that guy who tried to tell her he was good at reading people and knew she wouldn’t shoot them the first time they crossed paths… And maybe she’d be the type who’d shoot them, but he hadn’t seemed the sort who would shoot her.

Meanwhile Dean’s actual moment of nearly shooting her and then leaving her to deal with the hellhounds when he sees she’s warding them off is totally heartbreaking. He sees Bela as the antitheses to him: someone who sells out even their family for money, and has known most of the season she killed a family member: and he’s in the same place as her because he  _saved_  a family member. All the way back in Crossroad Blues when he was still angry about  _John’_ s deal he was unsympathetic to the people who made the deal for their own personal gain, but on hearing out the guy who saved his wife, fought to protect him and even bargained with the crossroads demon for him and didn’t make that deal to bring John back when it was offered. He was very ‘let them die’ about the others, and so to him right now Bela is just another one of those. But he still doesn’t kill her… He sounds kind of sincere when he says he just couldn’t do it… Maybe seeing she had a deal pending made him sympathise with her against his better judgement, since he’s lashing out and scared and feels well and truly fucked at this point.

Blah. :<

These poor damaged characters.

* * *

I am pretty sure the orange rug was there when Sam was chloroformed and dragged off.

* * *

Oh no, eye horror. >.>

To be fair, Sammy does have nice eyes.

Just… don’t need to see them ultra close up like this. :/

Jeepers creepers, where’d you get those peepers?

* * *

> DOC BENTON  
> Oh…I know. You think I’m some kind of monster, don’t you? Well, I got to tell you, I have never done one thing that I did not have to do. 

>.>

Oh no he has a melon baller with a serrated edge. Who even MAKES those and WHY oh GOD.

* * *

> DOC BENTON  
> (Laughing) A knife? What part of immortality do you not understand? Pity about the heart, though. It was a brand-new one. 

I feel like this should be relevant to season 9 somewhere. I don’t know. Can you think of any important heart-stabbings from that season on an immortal character? :P

* * *

Dean’s doing his scary rage smirk. I am scared.

* * *

They walk to the side to have a dramatic conversation. If there weren’t like 3 minutes left in the episode he’d escape.

Did Dean make a Simpsons reference at the most dramatic moment? :3

> SAM  
> Dean, don’t you want to live?
> 
> DEAN  
> What he is isn’t living. Look, this is simple.
> 
> SAM  
> Simple?
> 
> DEAN  
> To me it is, okay. Black or white; human, not human. See, what the Doc is is a freakin’ monster. I can’t do it. I would rather go to hell.

*crying about this*

There’s not enough words in our language to explain the irony of that sentence relating to Dean Winchester. :P

* * *

… Or how his punishment to the Doc was to bury him alive giving us the weirdest Lazurus Rising parallel, where Dean puts a guy IN his grave forever, only to get put in the exact same place to dig himself OUT of one in 2 episodes.

* * *

Although as people have humorously pointed out, he’s literally fridged.

* * *

The book of all his knowledge is symbolically placed on top, and Sam is left to look at it and reflect sadly on burying his last chance to save Dean.

Wonder who dies next episode.

* * *

I wasn’t going to comment earlier when I noticed it but the hall outside their hotel room is green and structured similarly to the Dream a Little Dream tree hallway. (Was that one green too even in its normal iteration? Anyway, this is also a rare hotel again rather than a motel, and the 2nd this season) Bela walking down it is very much like Dean heading off to confront his demon self and face up to going to hell. 

Which is all sorts of heart-wrenchingly sad about Bela, his mirror for the whole season, walking herself there voluntarily (as she lied to him that one last time and so was denied a chance to let them save her if they could).

Again, probably foreshadowing for Dean’s death now being pretty damn certain?

* * *

She’s even wearing a leather coat and black t-shirt and jeans instead of some of her less Winchester-y outfits.

* * *

I wonder if there’s anything symbolic about the Winchesters being 2 sex dolls to her after she spent the season trying to manipulate them sexually?

* * *

Slightly less gross parallel to Jus in Bello where Dean phones her with excellent timing on the room’s phone to let her know her number’s up, except this time it’s death, not her dobbing them in to Victor.

Paying for crimes etc?

* * *

Except he still thinks she did something horrendous for bad reasons. And she has her other flashback privately as well.

They  _never know_  she was sympathetic. :(

* * *

> DEAN  
> Sweetheart, we are weeks past help.
> 
> BELA  
> I know I don’t deserve it.
> 
> DEAN  
> You know what, you’re right, you don’t. But you know what the bitch of the bunch is? If you would have just come to us sooner and asked for help we probably could have taken the Colt and saved you.
> 
> BELA  
> I know, and saved yourself.

AU where…

* * *

> BELA  
> The Demon that holds it. She holds mine too. She said she holds every deal. 

Hm, so Lilith did tell Bela to do this and she does have the contract for all of them. Still, Crowley actually made more sense to exist at least as the boss of the crossroads demons (identified as a male demon) so I still think he could have been in Lilith’s pocket (as the books apparently described him as being a close underling or something) so he could have been head of the department responsible, and then Lilith with the actual executive decisions on everything. 

If you squint the retcon isn’t too terribly crammed into this season, since they did mention a probable demon who was Crowley before switching to giving all the deals to Lilith.

The only reason I care about dragged Crowley into it early is for the sake of making a retcon remotely workable. :P

* * *

Bye Bela. :(


	16. 3x16

Not going to lie, finishing season 3 feels like getting onto the home straight even though I have 7 full seasons left to watch :P

* * *

Only 7 more run-throughs of Carry On Wayward Son this summer.

… 8. 10x05 as well. 

* * *

It helpfully ends with demon!Dean from Dream a Little Dream spoiling that Dean’s going to die at the end of the episode, like, seriously, pay attention to him. :P *she says to her past self who watched all this wondering how Dean would be saved, and then was super pissed off the show ended this way*

*refers you back to the fact I literally though this was the end of the show for 2-3 years until my friend was  ~~casually messaging me~~  screaming about The French Mistake and I was like wait what huuuh?*

(I later recalled she liveblogged Hammer of the Gods to me via MSN comments but I literally did not realise what show she was messaging me about so the whole episode was very strange deja vu for a while)

* * *

Aw man that opening where Dean is running in the woods. Both scary and distracting wondering how you film him running from such close quarters.

:P

* * *

He wakes up to extreme close up, with his sparkly distracting eyes. It’s not quuuite a bookend to zooming into his eyes at the end, but… Hey, close up to close up. Minus all the running. And we start with Dean in a dream of Hell waking up, to dying and going there.

Eh, it’s about as narratively neat as you could get, I suppose.

* * *

I honestly just feel bad for Sam being so reassuring about how he’s not going to let Dean go to Hell. Dean has seemed much more resigned, relentless reading aside, but Sam is still trying to sound confident Dean CAN be saved and this latest ploy with 30 hours to go means he’s going to be living in hope riiight up to the last minute.

I mean, he breaks  _so hard_  because of this, and so I see his hope as actually quite genuine. This idea that they always win (perhaps bolstered by killing Yellow Eyes a year ago) and the thought that Dean will always be there still too strong to let go after Dean’s made such a song and dance over the first couple of seasons about how much he has to be there to look after Sam…

* * *

My constant collecting of old random useless things makes me really want the pendulum thing that Bobby has. (I randomly had something shaped quite a lot like the compass the Stynes were using to find the BotD in 10x18 so don’t tell me collecting random nautical junk is useless. Unfortunately in my town there are whole shops with nautical junk on sale second hand and I could probably find one of these things but it would cost a LOT :P)

(This is the 3rd season finale in a row with us in Bobby’s house getting intel before the main drama starts. :P)

* * *

> SAM  
> What’s the problem?   
>   
> DEAN  
> What’s the problem? Come on, where do I begin? I mean, first of all, we don’t even know if Lilith holds my deal. We’re going off of Bela’s intel? Now when that bitch breathes, the air comes out crooked.

(Have accepted headcanon Lilith doesn’t.)

Blargh, coming off my 3x15 rewatch (plus the comments from people who were actually functioning humans) this last jab at Bela is just really really painful. Actually kind of glad she’s gone just so the main characters will stop being awful about her. >.> 

> DEAN  
> Come on man, she is the Miss Universe of lying skanks, okay. 

Oh good Ruby has a turn too :P

* * *

Once again as with last episode, Sam has a drastic idea for what to do (summon Ruby) and Dean argues against it for the sake of sensible, manageable cures which don’t morally compromise them or compromise their safety. Looking out for the others or low self esteem of not feeling he’s worth the compromise? He’s made extreme choices himself to save Sam, but selling his soul was taking that onto himself. Sam’s decision right now doesn’t seem to have any overt strings attached but there’s just the fact it seems to be a bad idea to work with a demon when they don’t know or trust her.

Which, to Sam, must clearly seem like a very weak argument not to do it. At least with Doc Benton the morality was a lot more obvious about why not.  _Sensible_  arguments really don’t float around here.

* * *

My OTP! Dean x books.

Dean is horrified about the candle that has been placed directly on top of a book. Good.

* * *

Cut to Sam doing the thing that he was told not to do.

Of course, parallels back to John summoning Azazel in terms of actually doing a spell and a summoning ritual rather than the crossroads deal, which is very much Dean’s territory in this narrative.

Not sure of the exact emotional resonance of the parallels because I continue to be extremely tired and mostly just pointing at stuff this evening: Sam is summoning Ruby to get a weapon to undo Dean’s damnation while John was damning himself and giving away their demon-killing weapon. 

* * *

Is this Bobby’s ikky basement (before we knew about the panic room and it became more of a thing) or an abandoned barn? It looks more like a random abandoned barn.

* * *

This conversation with Ruby is very ambiguous to work out her motivation. If you take her on surface value fair enough (and assume she only starts working for Lilith after this episode and whatever happens to her), but I’ve always wondered about Lilith taking that little fun vacation to the suburbs to play around with a random family right at the time Dean’s deal was up, especially if she actually held the deal, and especially if she had previously been hunting the Winchesters (Jus in Bello) meaning she was A: looking for them and B: would have been fully aware that Dean had cleared his schedule from the day after tomorrow onwards. :P 

Setting a trap for them would be extremely easy to just sit in one place close to the end of Dean’s time. I think it’s generally understood from canon Lilith didn’t really know all the details of the apocalypse yet and may have still thought Sam was just a rival at this point, so using Dean’s deal as a way to draw Sam to her to kill would have been preeeetty easy, exactly as Dean suggested. Ruby working with Lilith makes this very interesting:

> SAM  
> About Dean’s deal. That Lilith holds the contract.   
>   
> RUBY  
> Yes, I did. 

She responds immediately like that was common knowledge, and makes it all about whether Sam was ready or not, owning to the deception for the entire year like this isn’t a big deal. Magically the day before it’s due she randomly decides Sam IS ready because at this point he’s desperate enough (to summon her) to follow her to Lilith and be too emotionally compromised to suspect a trap (or be too ready to walk into it even if he does, on the off-chance it could do some good).

* * *

OH MAN. I forgot Ruby started priming Sam for his powers here. Season 4′s plot all set up then. :P Like “OH HEY REMEMBER THOSE POWERS YOU DON’T HAVE ANY MORE?!”

Ruby points out Lilith is scared of Sam (hence trying to kill him a lot and also again undermines that she’d be taking a vacation if she was living in fear and knew Sam was going to be on a rampage this week) and I kinda believe that Lilith could be (she may not have known the final seal yet but she knows  _something_  about Sam and if she doesn’t think his role is important to use but rather that he’s an opposing power still ostensibly on the side of hunters then she could see him as actually the one thing that could STOP her trying to raise Lucifer, before she comes to understand what his powers are for). I do think it’s interesting Sam and Lilith were pitted against each other so early: season 4 is basically about them despite them meeting twice, and they have like their ONE other meeting this episode.

(Also interesting: Jus in Bello is all about on the surface Victor coming for them to get Dean in particular; Lilith trumps that by coming in fixated on Sam in particular. Hmm.)

> RUBY  
> You don’t like being different. You hate the way Dean looks at you sometimes. Like you’re some kind of sideshow freak. 

Oop. :/

I never replied to this comment on my 3x15 rewatch:

[rainbofiction](http://rainbofiction.tumblr.com/) replied to your post“SPN Hellatus Rewatch: 3x15 Or: a little tale about recycling…”

> Every time Dean gives that “black and white, human and not human” line, you should read it as a slap in Sam’s face and a veiled threat - “You have to be [what I consider] human or I’ll do this to you too.” That makes the scene utterly chilling. :( :(

Basically yeah there is an undercurrent of Dean’s ongoing championing pure humanity as the best thing evar and everything else is a monster: Sam’s known a whole year now that he’s literally been altered to not be entirely human, and probably this season not having powers being a thing has been almost relaxing on that front, like he could put it behind him (see 3x14 where he talks about them in a very past-tense way… not like nostalgia but definitely like it’s a chapter behind him). Ruby pointing out that Dean’s ongoing monster hatred can extend to Sam himself (whether Dean intentionally thinks this or not: I don’t think his programming would allow him to actually hunt Sam for being a monster, whatever various threats he makes. BUT this is what their fight at the end of 4x21 comes down to - Sam picking Ruby, choosing to use his powers, and becoming the monster) definitely seems to be feeding off stuff Sam thinks about himself - as Rainbo says, definitely not helped by Dean’s stance on this. Whether Dean actually looks at Sam like this or not, Sam has been interpreting Dean’s looks this way, because this is how he feels and that’s how Dean talks, meaning Ruby’s emotional manipulation here is a home run.

* * *

Dean shows up to confront them a very short time after that line, meaning he probably heard at least some of that.

… Yeah definitely because Ruby just rolls on into the argument knowing he’s objecting to it before he even says anything about what he may or may not have overheard.

Yiiikes Dean throwing the first punch on Ruby. I guess like with d!Meg a couple of finale ago he proved he doesn’t see demons/monsters as worth any chivalry and only  _stopped_  hurting d!Meg because Bobby pointed out Meg Masters was still in there. We know Ruby’s meatsuit is dead for sure because Bobby shot her at the start of the season, but it’s still alarming to see Dean punch her just because this season has been so harsh on its two female stars, mostly  _through_  Dean as the main cause of aggression/slurs towards them.

Bah. :P

* * *

Anyway they got the knife and they know where Lilith is so off they go?

Nope, we’re having a serious conversation about if Sam should use his powers instead (season 4 sort of shows he’d never have been ready in time unless he upfront just guzzled 12 demons worth of blood and ran screaming at Lilith like WITNESS MEEE so I suppose there’s a little commentary here on the fact Ruby thought she  _could_  make him ready in the same way it took a whole season to work him over gently overnight when it came to saving Dean.)

I feel like the fact Sam is seriously contemplating this and then doesn’t do it (and then gets a demonstration Lilith can’t kill him because ~powers~) is probably a key factor in him just giving up and learning to use his powers. 

* * *

> DEAN  
> Don’t you see a pattern here? Dad’s deal, my deal, now this? I mean every time one of us is – is – is up the creek the other is begging to sell their soul. That’s all this is, man. Ruby’s just jerking your chain down the road. You know what it’s paved with and you know where it’s going. 

…

Sam says he’s willing to risk it because Dean did the same for him right after Dean points out that this is a terrible idea and actually lays out the whole problem, which is just showing Sam isn’t listening. Dean gives a passionate speech actually recognising how fucked up they’ve got over the years when it comes to this stuff and argues for just trying to kill Lilith to break the cycle, ending it vs an external force.

* * *

His panic about Sam doing something to get him out of Hell when he gets back is probably all stemming from this conversation too: he thought that this would be the end of it (and Cas yoinking him out of Hell theoretically should have been) but like I said, Sam’s not listening properly, as the cycle has still got him. Dean is the one ahead at this point in the way they yo-yo back and forth past each other: since he’s the one contemplating his mortality he’s the one reflecting on how they even got there and wanting an end to it. But because Sam’s behind him in this, still in the season 2 equivalent place where he still feels he owes his life to Dean. Dean’s sort of got the privilege of bad decision made, hindsight activated. Sam’s in the place he will have hindsight about, but like, not until season  _five_. 

* * *

Dean says his go down swinging thing again to round it off. (Once again: spent whole season contemplating own mortality and coming to terms with it. Sam isn’t even in the same place about his  _own_  life never mind Dean’s. Not sure how he thought Sam was supposed to accept a suicide run speech when last episode he was talking about preserving them both forever to fend off the inevitability of death)

* * *

> SAM  
> I think you totally should have been jamming “Eye of the Tiger” right there. 

Is that why…?

* * *

The Lilith story going on in the background is actually fantastic. In one short scene you get an  _entire_  horror movie. Brrr.

* * *

(Colette has a terrible time with demon families)

* * *

Oh so it’s cute when BOBBY messes with the Impala.

What is this cabin anyway? Did Sam n Dean just randomly pick it for a vacation spot?

Aww, it’s the family don’t end in blood line. That doesn’t get extremely bittersweet the longer they spend collecting family that then dies everywhere or anything. :P

* * *

Oh god spare me from their singing. 

… Honestly the fact Dean trailed off to look extremely sad about dying wasn’t what I wanted when I typed that.

* * *

Probs not symbolic the busted tail light is on the side of the Winchester who’s about to die?

* * *

Dean is totally freaked out by his newfound ability to see demons.

Practical new lore though.

* * *

I think Lilith is trying to kill the family via cake for dinner.

* * *

Oh dear, the mom and dad sell out Grandpa…. I think they were all involved in that plan.

* * *

Sam calls Ruby bitch. It looks like he summons it up quite painfully but uses it to show he’s thrown in his lot with Dean for now, by adopting Dean’s language. Yay?

* * *

Teehee holy water sprinklers. Go suburbia.

* * *

Hm, has Ruby been Lilith the whole time? Like, some random demon in the girl?

No, I think Dean did see actual Lilith through the window. They all split up for a moment and when Dean finds the girl he says she’s not Lilith so there’s been a window for Ruby to get booted out and her meatsuit re-possessed.

* * *

Yep, Lilith is gone and Ruby HELPFULLY looms up behind them without a word before the scene shifts.

> RUBY  
> Well, I hate to be a “told you so”. 

Lilith knowing Ruby would have warned them about this plan, or Lilith knowing that  _was_  the plan?

> SAM  
> Ok, you win. What do I have to do?   
>   
> She looks at him questioningly.   
>   
> RUBY  
> What do you mean?   
>   
> SAM  
> To save Dean. 

And Lilith apparently did not know that Ruby had something else in mind for Sam? POSSIBLY then Ruby has known all along about the demon blood when even Lilith didn’t, and Ruby and her were working at cross purposes for the SAME damn purpose because demons just fight too much to just work together? Ruby had a better idea of how to break Sam and Lilith knew how to break seals… So Lilith and Ruby work together in a weird tandem the whole time.

Does she actually say she was working with Lilith in season 4 or do we just assume that because they both wanted the same thing in the end?

Honestly can’t remember :P

* * *

I like that you can hear the clock ticking through all this. And see one in the background briefly when they’re fighting with Ruby.

* * *

Here we are! Bye Deeeean. 

Ah so he can see the Hellhound and it’s just invisible to the camera. (Re: like an extremely old discussion about them I can’t even remember the point of but I was wrong about this apparently so I’m going to at least admit that even if I don’t know why. :P)

Huh, Ruby asks Sam for the knife so she can fight off the Hellhound and Sam’s like “huh?” and then Dean is like “That’s not Ruby!” - weirdest John and Azazel parallel, considering that makes Ruby somehow in the John role (baaad idea :P) and Lilith more understandable as the Azazel parallel considering they need a new demon to obsess over for a season (actually that parallel really helps explain Sam obsessing over her, since it’s the same thing over again).

Not sure Sam guesses properly it’s not Ruby, but Dean literally sees straight through it.

* * *

_How does she look like she’s 10 years old?_

Damn I love Katie.

* * *

Ouch, that looks like it hurts.

*she says of Dean being shredded*

* * *

I am fascinated by Lilith’s white light attack looking like angel smiting. She was the first demon, though, so who knows what Lucifer gave her. 

(Didn’t teach her table manners though.)

* * *

*Sam ugly cries*

*I’m like nah gonna see Dean again in like 3 minutes when I’ve loaded up 4x01*

I always kinda like how Hell starts out green like his eyes before fading to a bit more brown.

* * *

… I should probably at least attempt to spell check this. Gimme 10 minutes before Dean comes back.

All typos you see were missed in my excitement to see Cas again. :P


End file.
